Posted by phidippus on July 23, 2014, at 15:26:33
In reply to Re: Best dopamine enhancing selective med, posted by Sugardog on July 22, 2014, at 23:17:45
OCD
> HAVEN'T TRIED AGREEING WITH THE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS. THEY SEEM SO DEFINITE, CONVINCING, AND UNDENIABLE WHEN I'M HAVING THEM.
Find the right therapist and they will teach you how to take the power out of those thoughts. In your case, I don't think medication is going to be as effective as CBT, DBT and ERP therapies. Agreeing with the thoughts and using humor is one method you can use. Another would be to pretend to be all the bad things your thoughts say you are. Dress up like a loser. Talk funny. In other words act out your thoughts.
You see, what's going on in your brain is your having all sorts of thoughts then all of sudden a thought is flagged, say,"I'm no good". This thought raises a flag and your brain treats it like a dangerous thought, so instinctively you start trying to figure it out-argue with it and such. This leads to an emotional response-in your case depression. SO you've got this circuit going on and the only way to short it is to take the power out of the thoughts causing the distress.
HAVE TRIED SAYING, "THIS IS JUST MY CRITICAL VOICE," WITHOUT MUCH SUCCESS.
Maybe a better thing to think would be, "Oh, hello, muppet. How's my favorite muppet? What bad thing do you have to say now? Oh, right, I'm a loser and will never be an astronaut."
Be silly about it. You take the power out of the though by making git funny instead of scary.
>TRIED WRITING THEM DOWN AND TALKING BACK TO THEM
No need to talk back to them. Just read them whenever you can until they become so boring they have no power. You can also get a voice recorder and record your bad thoughts then play them back.
>I'M SOMEHOW ATTACHED TO THE SELF-CRITICISM, SELF-HATRED, AND DISAPPOINTMENT IN MYSELF -- AS IF MY WHOLE IDENTITY AND WORLD WILL DISINTEGRATE IF I LET GO OF THIS THINKING.
So, this obsessive self-deprecation is a crutch. The thoughts can stay or go, they just don't need to have so much power over you. What does it matter if your whole identity disintegrates? Will you die?
>IF I BEAT MYSELF UP FIRST, I CAN'T BE TRAUMATIZED BY THEM.
That's like saying if I stab myself in the eyes first no one else can make me blind.
Your presuming someone is going to judge you. That's just you judging yourself more.
>JUST A CONSTANT NEGATIVE VOICE IN MY HEAD.
Do you recall at what age you started having this voice?
> HAVEN'T TRIED GEODON BUT NERVOUS BECAUSE I HEARD IT CAUSES WEIGHT GAIN
I've been on Geodon for a year now and have experienced no weight gain.
>IS BRINTELLIX AVAILABLE IN THE US?
Yes it is
>WILL IT CAUSE A LOT OF WEIGHT GAIN?
No. But remember it is better to be fat than insane.
>BASICALLY HYPER-VIGIL ABOUT MY ENVIRONMENT AND EMOTIONAL CUES.
Are you still this way?
> I WAS ON 40MGS LEXAPRO FOR A NUMBER OF YEARS, WHICH DID HELP ME BE MORE PRODUCTIVE. MY ONLY CONCERN ABOUT GOING BACK TO THAT DOSE IS I WAS ALSO QUITE IMPULSIVE, MORE ADVENTURE SEEKING, AND MADE SOME BAD DECISIONS (HAVING SEX WITH THE WRONG PEOPLE, ETC.).
You know this indicates bipolar II, which would explain a lot of your anxiety. Have you tried lithium and lexapro together?
> MAYBE I SHOULD TRY ABILIFY AGAIN. I WAS ON IT FOR AT LEAST A WEEK AN WAS AN EMOTIONAL WRECK. HOW MANY DAYS DOES IT USUALLY TAKE TO STABILIZE?
I forgot to mention Abilify can cause mood swings in people who are bipolar.
> SPOT ON. I DEFINITELY THINK THE ANXIETY COMES BEFORE THE DEPRESSION. I START THE DAY FULL OF HOPE, THEN COMES THE ANXIETY/NEGATIVE THOUGHTS, THEN I SPIRAL INTO DEPRESSION. OR I GO INTO A DEPRESSION IF I'M FACING AN ANXIOUS SITUATION I'M SURE I CAN'T HANDLE.
Your mood shifts seem quite apparent to me now. I think a mood stabilizer might help you-along with an antidepressant.
> MY PDOC WANTS TO TRY EMDR THERAPY WITH ME BECAUSE OF PAST TRAUMA. ANY THOUGHTS ON THAT?
I'm not impressed by thee data on EMDR, but it won't hurt.
> > How does your anxiety affect your mood?
>
> AGAIN, GREAT QUESTION. A LOW LEVEL OF ANXIETY IS OFTEN MOTIVATING AND FEELS TOLERABLE AND, UNFORTUNATELY, NATURAL. A MEDIUM LEVEL OF ANXIETY CAUSES ME TO BE AGITATED, BECOME MORE OBSESSIVE, AND START TO HAVE MOOD SWINGS. A HIGH LEVEL OF ANXIETY CAUSES ME TO BECOME VERY UNCOMFORTABLE, VERY OBSESSIVE, AVOID THINGS I NEED TO DO REALLY DO, AND SPIRAL HEAVILY INTO SELF-HATRED AND DEPRESSION.There's definitely alot of mood shifting going on and I think what's happening is your anxiety shifts as your mood worsens. People who are bipolar 2 tend to experience a lot of anxiety as mood shifts.
What was your experience on lithium?
Eric
poster:phidippus
thread:1067983
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20140717/msgs/1068712.html