Posted by alexandra_k on December 2, 2013, at 20:01:20
In reply to Re: feel the worst trappedv feeling - absolutely ugly » rjlockhart37, posted by alexandra_k on December 2, 2013, at 0:47:53
how are you feeling now?
i...
i remember i've been through a few posting names now. with each one... trying to reinvent myself. something different. something better.
i felt like... the 'me' shone through. which was... horrible in a sense. i couldn't escape myself. try as i might there was me. right there. rearing its ugly head again. for all to see. obvious to all that no matter the posting name, that was me.
but then reassuring to me (somehow). that that was me. that there was a me. i was more integrated than i thought...
i...
sometimes the reinvention of myself was more about others than it was about me. because i was afraid about my anonymity irl. because i'd told someone irl about this site... or something like that... because i thought they would think less of me... taunt me... if they knew about some of the stuff i'd posted online.
do irl people really taunt you... give you a hard time about... some of the stuff that you post here? or is it more that you think they might? i think... there is a saying 'with friends like these who needs enemies'. there is also 'you can be your own worst enemy'. i think those might apply. to thoughts / realities like that.
i know how it can be to have a unsupportive environment irl. where people try and drag you down. where people have to have this idea / reality where you are down.
rj... don't take this the wrong way... you live with your parents - right? how do they do for nutrition and exercise? for... indepdendence. vitality. stuff like that. if they don't do so well then... er... how are you supposed to learn?
?
?
and...
will they let you?
?
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1055185
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20131115/msgs/1055257.html