Posted by Vincent_QC on December 15, 2011, at 17:42:22
In reply to Re: 1 year later and feel very bad... » Vincent_QC, posted by Phidippus on December 11, 2011, at 18:42:42
Hi Eric,
I agree with the fact that the Benzo meds are not designed for long-term treatment for anxiety... in fact if I can turn back time (it's not a very bad song from CHER??? lol), I will never start them in 2005. The Klonopin was really effective for the first year I was on it, for the first time of my life I was normal, no social anxiety, no panic, very outgoing and very sociable with everyone... I think I was using it like a drug and not a med,mixing it often with alcohol (I stop drinking since 4 years now) who lead to fast addiction since I liked the buzzz I had from it... BUT had to increase the dose from 2 to 8 mg very fast because of this addiction.In 2007 I withdrawl it with Valium (using the Professor Ashton method), a long process who took 4 months, I taper it very fast but was panic free at the time, so it was the best time to do the move... I succeed to stop the benzo for 1 month but return on a low dose of Valium 20 mg day after I had some panic attacks out of the blue... and was ok for 2 years on a dose between 10 mg to 30 mg of Valium + a SSRI ( between 2007 and 2009 I was on the Lexapro 40 mg day for almost 6 months, I was also on the Zoloft 200 mg day for 4 months, I was on the Effexor-Xr, I try some older MAOI's and TCA's as well but react badly from them mainly had cardiovascular side-effects) and finally panic attacks start again on a regular basis in 2009 and was put on the Paxil, my first AD back in 1994...and had increase anxiety at first so the PDoc put me again on the Klonopin 4 mg day with the Paxil and stop the Valium... after 2 months of REAL side-effects the Paxil start working and I was free of panic, anxious only in social situations, the side-effects I had from the Paxil back in 2009 are different from those I have now if I take it, in 2009 I had major weight gain even with 5 days of gym/week and a proper diet, sweating all the time, dizziness, asthenia, insomnia...but no panic or heart related side-effect.
I stop the Paxil because of the major weight gain and the fact that I was thinking that since I was free of panic I will be ok and able to deal with my social anxiety or futur panic...I know it was stupid since it was working very well for my anxiety, but I choose to stay on the Klonopin only...in 2010 things turn out to be worse than ever and the PDoc increase the dose to 6 mg day of Klonopin and to 8 mg/day 4 months later... the anxiety just never stop being stronger and stronger to the point that I had to stop completly to live a normal life, stop driving, stop going out of the house and many other things like that and of course the weird anxiety symptoms and weird phobias start...
I try to be back on the Paxil several time, and god I know that 1 mg of Paxil is not suppose to have side-effects and I know also that it can take more than 6 weeks before the calming effect start on a SSRI but I never was able to take more than 1 mg and had major increase of my anxiety each time I took a small 1 mg dose... same for a 2,5 mg dose of Lexapro...
I have a new bottle of liquid Paxil and my GP ask me to start it again after Christmas and go very slow... He also think the side-effects are in fact only my anxiety and I also think the same, BUT I can't control it for now and I know also that I will have no choice to live with the increase anxiety when I will start the Paxil again... I plan to start it as soon as I Can after the Holidays period. I hope that after 1 month or so, even at a low dose, I will feel feel reassured about the Paxil and will be able to increase faster my dosage, I only need 20 mg of Paxil to be free of panic, well in the past it was my dosage to be free of panic and anxiety... maybe I will need more since my anxiety right now is out of control...
For the Benzo meds, I start already to do a better management of my daily dose. I know that 8 mg of Klonopin + 10 mg of Valium before bedtime is a lot... for now, I left more space between each dose. For the whole last year, I was taking 0.5 mg each hour of Klonopin + 1,5 mg of Xanax divided in 3 doses... I now use only the Xanax in emergency occasion, when I have to go out of the house by car or be alone at home for a whole day and only use half of a 0.25 pill... Now I take 1 mg of Klonopin every 2 - 2:30 hours... next step will be 2 mg every 4-5 hours... the goal will be to take it only 3-4 times a day... after I will reach the 3 doses a day, I will taper it with the Valium again... cutting the Klonopin dose before bedtime and only take the 10 mg of Valium... and cut in half my morning dose of Klonopin and add a dose of Valium, do the same with the afternoon dose and the evening dose and ending on 40 mg of Valium after several months... I know I can do it... but it will be a long process...
For the Prazosin, I can't take it. I already have a low blood pressure with orthostatic hypotension and my usual blood pressure reading is around 100-110/60-70 and have only a small increase to 120/80-90 when i'm in a panic mood or in a situation like be in a car (yeah it's a phobia now)... I faint 3 times in 2011 from the low blood pressure. That's why my heart beat fast, it's trying to maintain my blood pressure higher to prevent the fainting...BUT I also faint 3 times in 2010 when I had a high blood pressure... really weird...anxiety I guess again...
I also already take a small dose of Inderal for the fast heart rate...it's not working anymore and can't take more than 5 mg total a day... more than this make my blood pressure drop to a low 70-80/40-50... who is not good for me and make my heart beat faster.
Also, the malnutrition state affect my heart, I will have an echocardiogram in january to see if my heart is ok or not. Since I lost 60 pounds in 6 months in 2011 and that I lost almost almost all my muscles mass and the heart is a big muscle, I think that's the main reason why my blood pressure drop to the low side... In 2010 I had a normal high blood pressure and my normal blood pressure was around 135/90... and this summer in less than 1 week I start having the low blood pressure with reading around 80/50...
Anyway thanks for your help ;-) Will beat that anxiety for sure, can't live like this for another year...
Vincent ;-)
poster:Vincent_QC
thread:1004509
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20111208/msgs/1005008.html