Posted by Racer on September 3, 2008, at 13:54:22
In reply to Today is my day, posted by kattwoman on September 3, 2008, at 12:05:18
I know that you're feeling as though you are ready to die, but you know what? It doesn't sound as though you are. I'm going to tell you why I think that, in hopes it helps you stay here and get some help in real life.
You're posting here, which indicates to me that you're still trying to connect to people. You're reaching out, which you wouldn't be doing if you didn't want someone to reach out and help you. You've said you're going to tell your story, which -- again -- connects you to Life. That's a good thing -- reaching for that connection is the first part of what it takes to feel better than you do now.
It sounds as though you're trying to punish your doctor -- "see? You made me this bad, and now look what you made me do!" -- which is a wish that just ain't gonna come true. Even if it did, even if he felt as bad as you do now because you do what you're thinking of -- YOU won't know about it. And YOU are what's important in all this.
I've been suicidal, I've attempted suicide (but was found in time), and I KNOW deep into the core of my being that it feels as though you can't stand one more second of this pain. (I also know that I got annoyed beyond belief whenever someone quoted Corinthians to me, but that's probably idiosyncratic.) I'm not going to tell you that there's any easy answer, but I AM going to tell you that it is possible to feel better, and that there are things that allow one to get relief from this pain. What those things are vary between individuals, but there is relief available.
I hope that something here resonate with you, and that it helps you reach out IN REAL LIFE for the help you'll need to find relief from this pain.
poster:Racer
thread:850075
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20080903/msgs/850091.html