Posted by med_empowered on August 14, 2005, at 1:14:25
In reply to Re: Has anyone ever been commited?, posted by Deneb on August 14, 2005, at 0:45:28
I was committed...long story. Anyway, it was a mixed bag. The hospital was a private, comfortable, "acute care"--read: 30days stay max--center. I could make calls when I wanted to, refuse meds, etc. But...it wasn't that great. My shrink was absolutely callous and downright mean, and we never got along...the lead therapist, who handled group stuff, would say mean things like "look people, you're in ward 5 (the "severe case" ward")..you obviously NEED to listen to what I'm saying, OK?" I only got to see a therapist one-on-one one time, and it went OK, I suppose...she was friendly, I was friendly, things went nicely. But I was soooo bored and sooo frustrated; I got so bored and apathetic that I slept most of the time, and then they interpreted this as a sign of "worsening depression" (I was bored as hell-that was the REAL problem). I felt so out-of-control and the worst part was...I felt as if they expected me to *smile* and *thank them* for being so kind as to lock me up and control everything that went on around me. I couldn't do it. I got along very well with the lower-level staff people--the "babysitters," the people who did the day-to-day patient stuff...I also got along really well with the vast majority of the patients . But...it really is what sociologists call a "total institution," even though the days of long-term stays and forcible drugging are (largely) over. The peson you were--the person you ARE, really--means nothing to the people who run these places; you are a patient, and you are really nothing more than a constellation of symptoms connected only by whatever "diagnosis" they deem fit to give you. THEY define who you are without even acknowledging that you are, in fact, a PERSON. And they really do prefer you to be compliant and obedient...or outrageously "crazy". Either of those extremes will do. But nuance, subtelty, depth...those who run asylums really can't handle *that*...I guess it makes you too human, and it seems like you're demanding to be seen as something other than a "patient" or a "bipolar (schizophrenic, OCD, whatever" with whatever symptoms. The funniest moment, I think, was when we had "Movie night" at my mental hospital; they asked what everybody wanted to see, and I piped up and said I wanted to see "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest". The other patients thought it was funny as hell, but those in charge were *not* amused.
poster:med_empowered
thread:541314
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050811/msgs/541397.html