Posted by bruin on January 29, 2005, at 11:51:10
In reply to SO suicidal, posted by linkadge on January 28, 2005, at 18:59:08
One night a man had a dream.
He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the LORD.
Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand:
one belonging to him, and the other to the LORD.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him
he looked back, at the footprints in the sand.
He noticed that many times along the path of his life
there was only one set of footprints.
He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times of his life.
This really bothered him and he questioned the LORD about it: "LORD, you said that once I decided to follow you,
you'd walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me."
The LORD replied:
"My son, My precious child, I love you and I would never leave you, During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."> I just can't explain the symptoms I am having.
>
> Every second I am alive I want to kill myself.
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> It just never ends. Never, nomatter what I try to do.
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> I am so messed up. No doctor can help. Nothing works. I am more hopless than I have ever been.
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> I think I have had a stroke. I think I have had a seizure.
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> It is just a matter of time. I am just waiting for the right time.
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> My arms legs and face is tingling. I can't read a sentence. I am in hell, and it just won't end.
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> There is no point to being alive.
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> The psychiatrist I was about to see posponed my appointment for another month.
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> No docotor cares. All the doctors leave it up to me, but no doctor seems to understand that I can't do it.
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> I have a horrible sinking feeling all day long. There is a lump in my throat all day long.
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> I can't sleep, and I don't eat.
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> My face looks like a skeleton. I have lost many pounds. Muscles in my arms legs, and face twich all day long.
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> I am cold, and in pain. I weep bitterly untill my nose bleeds and my eyes burn. It still doesn't stop. I feel like somebody is pusing me. Sometimes my head turns to the side and it gets stuck like that an I can't move it for hours.
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> My vision periodically goes black and sometimes red. I don't know who I am.
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> I have trouble swallowing. My hands and feet are cold all day long. I have chest pains, and diareah every day.
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> I fear everthing.
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> I just want to die. Every day it gets worse.
> I cannot blink my eyes properly for some reason.
>
> Why does nobody want to help me? Why does no docotor say, I will see you as often as you need till you get better ? Why do the docotors see me for 5 minautes and send me away? Is this all there is? Why does the hospital leave me lying there all day? Why does going to the hopsital make me more hopless?
>
> There is no point to even be posting here. Words can only help so much. I am only 21, and God hates me so much. He won't lift a finger to help. Not a single finger. Why does he not care for me?
> What have I done wrong. Why can't I just die.
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> Linkadge
>
poster:bruin
thread:449369
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050128/msgs/449730.html