Posted by Maxime on January 28, 2005, at 21:59:15
In reply to SO suicidal, posted by linkadge on January 28, 2005, at 18:59:08
((( Linkadge ))) I know they are only cyber hugs but the thoughts is there.You just posted something very similiar to what I was going to post.
I can't explain why things are the way they are. Why some of us can't seem to get the meds we need or ones that work well with our brain chemistry.
God, you have to get yourself admitted to the hospital. Maybe what you are going through is psychiatrict ... maybe it's not. I am not going to start guessing at what it might be, but go to the hospital as soon as possible. Please. Remember how good you felt a while back? You can feel that way again.
And God isn't punishing you. You haven't done anything wrong.
Please ask someone for help.
Maxime
> I just can't explain the symptoms I am having.
>
> Every second I am alive I want to kill myself.
>
> It just never ends. Never, nomatter what I try to do.
>
> I am so messed up. No doctor can help. Nothing works. I am more hopless than I have ever been.
>
> I think I have had a stroke. I think I have had a seizure.
>
> It is just a matter of time. I am just waiting for the right time.
>
> My arms legs and face is tingling. I can't read a sentence. I am in hell, and it just won't end.
>
> There is no point to being alive.
>
>
> The psychiatrist I was about to see posponed my appointment for another month.
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> No docotor cares. All the doctors leave it up to me, but no doctor seems to understand that I can't do it.
>
> I have a horrible sinking feeling all day long. There is a lump in my throat all day long.
>
> I can't sleep, and I don't eat.
>
> My face looks like a skeleton. I have lost many pounds. Muscles in my arms legs, and face twich all day long.
>
> I am cold, and in pain. I weep bitterly untill my nose bleeds and my eyes burn. It still doesn't stop. I feel like somebody is pusing me. Sometimes my head turns to the side and it gets stuck like that an I can't move it for hours.
>
>
> My vision periodically goes black and sometimes red. I don't know who I am.
>
> I have trouble swallowing. My hands and feet are cold all day long. I have chest pains, and diareah every day.
>
> I fear everthing.
>
> I just want to die. Every day it gets worse.
> I cannot blink my eyes properly for some reason.
>
> Why does nobody want to help me? Why does no docotor say, I will see you as often as you need till you get better ? Why do the docotors see me for 5 minautes and send me away? Is this all there is? Why does the hospital leave me lying there all day? Why does going to the hopsital make me more hopless?
>
> There is no point to even be posting here. Words can only help so much. I am only 21, and God hates me so much. He won't lift a finger to help. Not a single finger. Why does he not care for me?
> What have I done wrong. Why can't I just die.
>
>
>
>
> Linkadge
>
poster:Maxime
thread:449369
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050128/msgs/449458.html