Posted by waki on August 11, 2004, at 18:30:53
In reply to Re: How do you know Depression ended? » Alesa, posted by LynneDa on August 11, 2004, at 13:44:08
Who knows.....
Maybe if we all get past our obsticals we can all go on a cruise and meet. We can wear name tags that says "3 years of happiness", or sell bumper stickers that say "I am normal are you?".
My mother and I were talking today. She is so happy what she calls "haveing me back" that she cries everytime when she see's me now.
I am not even that well yet but I am well enough that she believes she got her son back.
She keeps secretly inviting one of her friends over at a time every time I visit her. I sit back when I go home and just shake my head as to what have a done to all these people.
Anyway, she keeps asking me questions what "they" doctors do with me every week at the treatment research center. She is so excited she wants to go with me and thank them. I told her there's no way a near middle age guy like me is going to parade my mother around the center to let her say thanks. We laughed. She said it was the first time we laughed that she can remember. After she laughs she cries, sort of bizzare really.
She believes that these medications are only partial of my improvement. She tells me my attitude appears to be improving, upbeat. She describes it as an "energy" or positive "ora" that seems to be contagious to others and improving everyday. She claims she see's a glow in my face that I can't see myself.
She says that when she introduces me back to her friends they feel better and want to know more about mental illnesses. It's to the point all her friends are comming out of the wood work saying they have childern that are bi polar, their husbands appear to be depressed, tehir edlery parents must be depressed. yadda yadda yadda.
I don't see it or feel it but I have to trust her. Maybe theres something to this energy?
Maybe if people who are mentally ill collectively synergize with each other we can heal each other more rapidly.
I have allot of patching up to do with family members and friends that I don't know where to start. I have walked away from family, friends and relationships for the last 25 years.
It's depressing to hear that I have hurt so many people because I abandoned all of them.
But the more I think about it, I think I answered my own question. I believe one starts to know depression is subsiding when others make remarks.
When you see others be happy because you are making them happy is the un measurable proof in the pudding.
Well I need to go know. I actually put myself on a committee to help build a float for a parade. I can't remember the last time I helped people out before.
Don't forget the cruise, maybe thats what we all need!
poster:waki
thread:109458
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040811/msgs/376545.html