Posted by ednababish on August 10, 2004, at 12:48:33
In reply to Re: How do you know Depression ended?, posted by Waki on August 9, 2004, at 23:20:09
Dear Waki,
I am flattered that this e-mail was in response to something I wrote. But I really don't have any credentials--my Ph.D. is in English literature (specialties in Shakespeare, psychoanalysis, film, philosophical theory). All I know is that the meds have made me functional in a way I had never been before. I tend to wallow in self-doubt, and they take the self-doubt away--or at least suppress my impulse to wallow in it. I'm not so prone to paralysis from indecision either--I'm not afraid to try or to not try. Like you, I never felt normal and had no idea what it felt like to be normal. I'm still not sure I do, but I know that I'm not alone, that most people have moments of self doubt (but not lifetimes of it!), that other people find the world as bewildering and overwhelming as I still sometimes do.
As for therapy, as I said before I went for about five years to one guy who was occasionally known to doze off after lunch and during my session. He wouldn't tell me what was wrong with me, or what he thought was wrong with me--he'd just say, "What do you think is wrong with you?" to which I would reply, "If I knew, would I be here?" Don't get me wrong, he was a great guy, but the point I am making is this--just find a one on one therapist and go--tell him/her what your life-long problems have been, what your family history is, what diagnoses you have received, and what medications you are currently taking. Then you and he/she will work toward an understanding of the underlying causes of your problems--depression is one part personal brain chemistry, one part family history, and one part social conditioning, and therapy works on the conditioning part. You only need to go into therapy knowing that feeling crappy was a lifelong tendency--they'll help with the rest!
Good luck,
Edna
poster:ednababish
thread:109458
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040805/msgs/376038.html