Posted by daizy on February 16, 2003, at 12:16:23
In reply to Re: Guy, Talk to me, posted by Guy on February 15, 2003, at 18:41:49
> Hi Link,
>
> For what it's worth, here is some of the mess that constitutes my life.
>
> 1. Is it constant nagging or is it sharp hits.
>
> Constant, from morning tilll night. It is better if I play cards or the like...still there but I can almost forget it for a bit.
>
> 2. What physical symptoms acompany it. How do
> mental and pysical symptoms compare.
>
> Headache, neckache, backache and constant knot in stomach
>
> 3. Is there a component of fear, Is it fear
> like something bad will happen ?
>
> Fear that brain is malfunctioning and that I may have to kill myself. Also, fear of insomnia because that amplifies my symptoms.
>
> 4. Do you have a pressure to suceeed. Whith me,
> I always had this -thing- inside of me pushing
> me telling me I can/must do better.
>
> I always push myself to please others. My mother-in-law hates me and thinks I'm a loser. I have struggled with sexual ambiguity all of my life.
>
> 5. What kinds of actions provoke the worst
> symptoms? Thoughts of failure, anxiety about
> performance.
>
> The physical symptoms themselves make me frightened. I can stand up in front of a crowd and make a presentation with no problem. When the physical pain hits, I immediately start thinking about suicide.
>
> 6. Does the anxiety seem to be the source or do
> you think its secondary to mood.
>
> I am a very pessimistic person and am depressed about loss of dreams, future and ability to function normally. I used to be a long distance runner and a nature purist type. Now I am on powerful meds (Remeron and clonazepam) and do not have energy to run and feel good.
>
> 7. Most importantly - what thoughts acompany it?
> Heart Attack, death, bombs dropping,
> upcoming tests, pain, social interaction etc.
>
> Despair...feeling my brain is shot and that I will have to commit suicide. There is a lot of genetic stuff here, too: mother severe alcoholic, father suicide, mother's father alcoholic, mother's brother alcoholic, mother's sister pills, alcohol and suicide, first cousin drug-induced schitzophrenia. Everyone above average intelligence but totally screwed up.
>Hey. I know where you are coming from, I also know an alcoholic, and it is a real stress to see someone you love messing themselves up. I have been on prozac, and effexor (SSRI) and they didnt work for me, Im now on a TCa, and am not as anxious, socially, as I was. Havnt been on them long enough to say whether they will work for my depression long term, but my feelings of suicide have faded. Have you tried Amitriptyline? Its a TCA, I was told they are more effective that SSRI's. Just a suggestion, and do you take a benzo? Because one of them might work for you in relieving anxiety. Good luck, I hope you find something that works soon.
poster:daizy
thread:200731
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030214/msgs/200901.html