Posted by JahL on May 16, 2001, at 20:06:03
In reply to Re: Reward Deficit Syndrome., posted by Elizabeth on May 16, 2001, at 19:04:00
Thanks for responding.
> > There's another temperamental trait, "sensation seeking" (or "thrill seeking"), that also puts people at risk for substance abuse. Supposedly this is what separates the "tweakers" (people who prefer stimulants like cocaine and methamphetamine) from the addicts who specifically prefer opioids -- sensation seekers prefer the thrill and excitement of stimulants.
That's interesting. I used to be a big-time thrill-seeker (how pre-disposed to substance-abuse can you get??!!), car-surfing (Teen-Wolf stylee!) & the like. If I wasn't so depressed I'd be jumping out of planes, base-jumping etc.
Strangely enough I'm not too big on stims. Coke used to get me high briefly but would soon turn me mean & moody. Speed (+E) was good for clubbing but generally makes me climb the walls. Didn't particularly care for ADD stims.
The only drugs I got a real kick out of were ALCOHOL (I wonder how many of those that attacked you regularly imbibe this state-endorsed DRUG, which in any one yr is directly responsible for as many deaths as opiates have been in the last century), E & the psychedelics (which cld be considered 'mental thrill-seeking' in high enough doses).
> > >Do the eternal anhedonia (like my mum, *zero* mood reactivity) & 'craving' sensation possibly signify anything to you?
> > Yeah, it sounds like the way heroin addicts describe the pain that they felt before they discovered dope. I sort of feel bad telling you that because if I were in your position, I'd be scared sh*tless. But it's the truth: your words are hauntingly familiar. Please take this warning seriously.I do. My (not inconsiderable) intuition tells me you're probably right (& you're *certainly* not 'pushing' [as if] in this instance ;-) ! )
> > If you're in a country where outpatient buprenorphine maintenance is legal, I'd suggest trying to get that.That's what I hoped to try first. Unfortunately I'm UK (psychiatry is stuck in the dark ages). However I've just e-mailed 3 specialist psychopharmacologists advising them not to respond unless they are prepared to look @ truly novel treatments. 2 have responded so far!
> > There's no "good" way to kill yourself, but leaving a bloody mess for your loved ones (or even complete strangers) to discover seems like one of the worse ways.
I agree, but it's so *final*, which is why it appeals. I wouldn't want anyone to think it was an accident or a cry for help (it wldn't be). But lets not dwell on that; I have plenty more chemicals to poison myself with first :-) !
I have been contemplating chasing the dragon for some time (v easy for me to obtain heroin) but given yr info I'll abstain. Thanks for framing my symptoms in a context that makes sense for once. I'll keep perservering with the AEDs also.
J.
poster:JahL
thread:17065
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010515/msgs/63286.html