Posted by Ann NY on May 15, 2001, at 22:37:48
In reply to Re: Reward Deficit Syndrome.long » Ann NY, posted by JahL on May 15, 2001, at 19:47:48
Wow, I guess I completely miss read your original post. You said you were suicidal and I believed you. Now I know.
> I LOVE women, but w/o emotions (a biological
Sorry to hear this is a problem. I hope it isn't permanent. Love isn't meds but it is very profound and healing when it's real.> >I'm not so much depressed as emotionally desolate
The overall gist I was trying to make was simply: Maybe you would benefit by trying to connect a little more with the whole you: heart soul mind etc. But I that didn't work for you. Sorry I miss read.
> You would not believe how intact my psyche is! I've handled some pretty heavy sh*t with honours:-) .*Nothing* fazes me.
I'm glad you're so confident and healthy, but isn't that part of the problem, nothing fazes you??> >I couldn't put it into words how great a mother she is.
I'm sure she was a very loving mother, I never meant to suggest anything less. However, personally, I couldn't image the demands of raising a family while depressed! I can barely take care of myself. In my experience, my parents were also very depressed while I was growing up. It was a very loving family but personally, I can't say that my parents' depression didn't effect me.
Luckily, you are one who wasn't seriously effected by a parent's chronic illness. Having a great mother is a wonderful gift that some go without.> >Good. Therapy & self-help books aren't my bag however. Been there, done that :-). My illness is highly biologically-orientated (no self-esteem probs etc). I am a fully paid-up member of the 'Med-heads' society!
> >It's only my opinion but I believe psychotherapy & the like *rarely* 'cure' depressive illness.
> >I'm not so much depressed as emotionally desolateWhen I referred to your psyche needing help I was speaking on more of a metaphysical level. I was thinking along the lines of trying to integrate you're intellect with your emotions and/or subconscious? Personally, I believe for me to be truly healthy, I need to have a strong relationship with my mind, heart and soul. Yes meds are great and necessary but they can't solve everything. Since you said meds aren't making you happy and you've never once been truly happy I was pointing out a different issue to investigate that might help. Now I know this didn't work for you. I'm sure a new drug will come into the market soon. My Dr. said there is a new med coming into the US market this summer. It has had great success in Europe and I was going to go on it if Effexor didn't help me.
> >I stump them, but can dismantle *their* personalities with ease. In the end it became a kinda sport.
I never suggested you augment your ego needs by proving to a psychiatrist that you were smarter than him/her. I never suggested seeing a psychiatrist. But have you ever trusted a therapist? A therapist doesn't have to have a superior IQ in order to build a trusting relationship. One where a patient can let go of defenses and put the intellect aside so that issues regarding real human relationships can be discussed with sincerity. But yes I do know how it feels sitting in a session feeling like you are wasting your time b/c dr. doesn't get it.> >The only drugs I've never tried are the opiates-always felt I'd like them too much.
> > I can honestly say that I would not be half the person I am were it not for my hard-core drug experiences. I met some good people thru them. Not recommened for everyone of course.
> >I've tried opium. Slept thru it, but v. nice %-)
??? I was relating to your original reasoning for not taking opiates "always felt I'd like them too much"
> >. Despite being suicidal I'm not so much depressed as emotionally desolate.> >Compared to shooting myself (the last option), *trialing* (*possibly*) opioids is a walk in the park.
> I'm not about to shoot myself. Too much self-control for that. Just a (n irrevocable) decision made 2 yrs ago that should *all* treatments fail, I'm outta here. If I'm at a party & I'm not enjoying myself, I leave. No biggie.
If you're not considering suicide please don't make references in your post that you are. It is a very serious issue, I simply thought you were serious.
> Thank you for yr kind words; I'm hanging with a firm grip!
>
Well I hope so, telling everyone here that you are suicidal doesn't sound like you have a firm grip. But now, if you say you're suicidal again I won't believe you. I'm still new to the board and I don’t know people's personalities yet.I hope things get better for you. :)
poster:Ann NY
thread:17065
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010515/msgs/63182.html