Posted by shar on June 20, 2000, at 1:16:14
In reply to Re: Night Moves Into Sadness and Pain, posted by Cindy W on June 19, 2000, at 23:21:42
Jupiter,
I can really understand what you're going through. One of the worst things we depressed people do is isolate ourselves. I have often had to force myself to answer the phone or do something with a friend, when I feel exhausted or like a worthless piece of s**t. And we so often push away those who are closest to us.I think sex is very tricky when someone is on meds, depressed, hanging on with fingertips. I talked about it with my therapist some years back when I was still married, and she said "Do you find any comfort in it" ? I hadn't looked at it that way before, ie, being held, comforted, etc. with someone I trusted.
You are the only one who knows when you'll be ready to venture into that area again. Let me encourage you at least not to push your husband away (if you can feel ok about hugging him, etc.).
I noticed when I started to get better with meds how little I touched people and got touched. I mean in any kind of way --friendship, husband, etc.--and how it felt very nice to get a pat on the back, or a hug. Somewhere I heard "you need ten hugs a day to stay normal."
If you beat yourself up over this, you won't get very far because that's how we confirm that we are worthless. I know it's hard not to beat your self up, because I still get into that too.
I think you should respond to your husband to the extent that you genuinely can, talk with him, and tell him how you feel about his love and kindness. Don't let imperfection stop you if you can help it--I'm sure you know what a double-edged sword perfectionism is.
Of course, I am divorced, so maybe you should do the opposite.....
UBU
S
poster:shar
thread:37856
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000619/msgs/37868.html