Posted by shar on May 29, 2000, at 14:01:27
In reply to Re: SUICIDE-not today, posted by JohnL on May 29, 2000, at 6:35:11
John L:
Thank you for your treatise on hope. It gave me goosebumps. I always thought hope was something accompanied by the "Halleujah Chorus" that changed one in to a "normal" person again. Tadaaaa--Introducing the new, improved Shar, who has hope, is nice, and will be allowed to live among real people again.I've been hopeless. Hopelessness was something I held on to because it was really how I felt, and the so-and-so people around me drowned me in Pollyanna bullcrap, just look on the bright side, every cloud has a silver lining, you don't really feel that way, turn that frown upside down, it takes more muscles to frown than to smile, just look at X population who doesn't have enough to eat--you're better off than they are, don't you have any pride, and so on.
Hope was an idea of sickly sweet, unrealistic, and just plain wrong feelings, that to have hope meant to give up hopelessness (deny my feelings, my depression, myself).
But, now I have another perspective that will allow me to be hopeful and hopeless (if that's what I feel at the moment). Thanks! I don't have to abandon myself to feel hope.
It might even be nice to feel a little hope. Big sigh. What a relief.
S
poster:shar
thread:35034
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000526/msgs/35114.html