Posted by roo on September 10, 1999, at 14:17:31
In reply to Re: Depression and Relationships, posted by Bob (vote early, vote often) on September 8, 1999, at 9:04:31
Bob,
That's really terrible about what happened in your
family. I've thought about it a lot. The image of
your father and brother hanging onto the side of the
boat...damn. And then your mother's grief focused into
blaming... I am sorry you had to go through that. I'm
glad you're fighting the Perfectionism Demon with some
success.Someone mentioned being curious about childhood. Mine
was mostly Beaver Cleaver, relatively stable. Although
there was a very unstable/neglectful period for me
at what was probably a formative time--years 2 through
4. My family was in a religious commune, the kids lived
separately from the family. I was sent off to "camp"
when I was 3 years old for a month. I was really neglected
there, came back with pink eye and covered in infected
bites. I remember sleeping in my urine saturated sleeping
bag, and feces everywhere too. I remember during this
time period both my father and sister caught hepatitus.
Didn't get much attention
from my parents during those years, and taking care of the
kids was considered a lowly job on the totem pole for the
other folks in the commune, so we kids
didn't exactly get treated with warmth. I think we were
treated like we were a pain in the ass. Now it's often easy
for me to feel that way--Like I'm a burden and a pain in
the ass. I feel guilty anytime I have needs...My parents are good, supportive people, and I believe
they thought they were trying to do some good in the
world in a tough time--this was the 60's and 70's, and
part of the mission of this commune was to help rebuild
the inner city. Unfortunately, it wasn't so great for
us.I think that may have contributed to my depression.
I'm not sure. My dad also has depression and attempted
suicide before I was born..so it could also be
heriditary...although like Janice, it seems to have
effected me more than my sisters who are busy with
kids...
poster:roo
thread:11168
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19990829/msgs/11364.html