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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by rjlockhart04-08 on April 12, 2009, at 14:05:18
You know,
Today i look at PB, man it has changed, i had told some people about it, and now it's a telephone, line. I mean danm what happened to all those old days, well times change, sh^t happens, gotta face the circumstance.
Alot of people here, don't rerember but i've posted here for a while. I'm just stating the facts: I walk around, my eyes get red, i lose track of time, get short of breathe, and lose thinking sometimes, usally i'll make some real intense comment to anyone, because i don't even feel with reality, it's to the point where it feels like a danm knife is going down the nerve, "darn! you forgot to do that!"
"this is why people didnt like you in the first place, get your *ss up! do it!"This time, no cry wolf anymore, i think my adrenal glands have enlarged, to the point where i'm ready for something to hit the fan, no peace. The only you can get around here, is "piece be still, just like Christ said, because you keep you call a piece of steel near the bed. That's not meaning serious, that's how i feel inside. You know what, it would better if this house just blew down, tornado hit it, Lord would save me, my but is out, live on the street. Didnt develop on time, but I do look exactly like a normal twenties looks like. I actually have changed appearance! serious.....(i actually look better now i look in the mirror, before it was just this face i hated), now, i don't have to beafriad, because i know to figure a comeback, in my own house, less than 10 seconds, usally after that. Get me that Loader from Aliens, i gotta hold back these things runnin' here. "All i want to do is back and enjoy DirectTV!" It was the best thing that happened, till this "snapper" metaphorically you have to hold back "what are you doing! give me that laptop! you are grounded"
"Well, what can say, now please slam that door and go in the other room....brat!" comes back in to start something else.Enough of the horror, scene to much of it, turn on a channel, what i do see "In Treatment".....calmly sit there, discuss life, "i have this feeling, i think i'm nervous"
If I was on there "I think i have 5 people in my head, so which one you talk to! talk about fraud, how stupid these new medication on the market are....old ones, you know, do you have any scotch Mr. Greyson, how people discuss minor issues, and make it drama. Well, I've lived a jet-fueled life, on the edge, let's turn on the edge by the way...to quiet in here. Be back next week with a 10 page anayasis, put into psychiatric professional review. Get da Pictura?You know, i go out in public, put sunglasses on, depends what i'm in, and then people follow me. Well, at least this is something worth living for! stop copying my style!
Besides that, this is proably this biggest Mt st. Helen's i've blown in about 3 years, well, a year ago something happened.
Fact of the matter, one thing, i'll just give some THERPIST's some adivce: know the patient personally, if they go on, say get the point (self-learned) Make a joke, rotate to their situation, maybe get a picture of it. Instead of "What I see...(what are you the grandmaster or something?) you need to slow down"
Slow Down.....what is that definition to you? gettings thing's done, slow down to where i can't focus? or slow down just right here in the room? I'll do that, but you know doc, let me a smaratin to you, When you have anxiety, and nothing, no even when that Scotch bottle is empty....been there.
"Lay down, tell everything to shut up, if you have to yell them the other room, it's worked for me..., shut the door, think of someplace, that at one time, you had peace, or if you didnt...."create, visulaize being somewhere else, In a loft, quiet, looking out at how gloomy the city is..., or dream of the friends, or people that are supportive (that's sad, but in WCS's, it works) vent out, brain waves slow down, and your back to reality"
Don't throw life's stones that hit, on someelse, that's a big no, called the Southpole "repel".2nd, give a therpist what you see, sometimes there's been coiencdences, talk about thining about the equation of the issue, understanding, this is called "going in circles" because it's conformatable, no strain, stress, feel like even worse after leave, but sometime's life is realted to logic, emotions are much more "dynamic" and hard to reason with sometimes. Depending on, what's going on, what happened, who you see yourself as...., etc.
Now, after you have slowed down, given some advice, he/she may stare at you...
yo! did you hear half what i said?I'll you next week....take care of yourself, "I will, next time, my car may fly off a bridge, and i'll save myself, by the way "Worst Scenario Case Guide" pop it, here's something i thought i'd give you for apprieation.
Have a Great day, Mcchhh take care of yourself.
By the way, had break from some people, they just by couincedience walk in the door....alright! what blew up?
rj
Posted by Zana on April 12, 2009, at 15:02:36
In reply to Nerve just a blew a ceruit, posted by rjlockhart04-08 on April 12, 2009, at 14:05:18
Wow, is there a lot going on in your head! You didn't say what meds you are on? Do they help at all?
Zana
Posted by Phillipa on April 12, 2009, at 19:23:30
In reply to Nerve just a blew a ceruit, posted by rjlockhart04-08 on April 12, 2009, at 14:05:18
RJ I've been here forever and have no idea what you just said yes what meds are you on? Phillipa
Posted by rjlockhart04-08 on April 12, 2009, at 21:09:46
In reply to Re: Nerve just a blew a ceruit » rjlockhart04-08, posted by Phillipa on April 12, 2009, at 19:23:30
It's more than that....med's help with something that's imbalanced. Not external hell.
Xanax, Lamictal, Dexedrine.
All of this, is built up, and i can't, I just looked at this post, did it again, danm, clear these catches off the net.... but it just had to come out.
Gosh, do have to do that screenname change thing again? definate....
thanks, just sh^t is comin from all directions. It's called "evacuation sequence" get out of this house before, it collapses, these awful toxic bitter people. It's to the point where you are "ready" for anything to come, and believe me, that's around this street, called 666 St. S.
Let me cool off, it's called living withsomeone who anatongizes, manipulates, then "i'm not responsible" "Look at this! all this! your the problem".
Bye Bye days, where postphoned in 2005,
2009....well i think reality pretty much hit.
take care ok?
Posted by Amelia_in_StPaul on April 12, 2009, at 21:21:56
In reply to Re: Nerve just a blew a ceruit, posted by rjlockhart04-08 on April 12, 2009, at 21:09:46
RJ could you do yourself a favor and go to your psychiatrist or doctor? It would help you get out of the negativity, wouldn't it? Please go see someone--in fact, if you can, can you go to the ER? That would be a safe place to go. Please do it as soon as possible. Take care. Peace.
Posted by rjlockhart04-08 on April 12, 2009, at 21:26:55
In reply to Nerve just a blew a ceruit, posted by rjlockhart04-08 on April 12, 2009, at 14:05:18
Let me slow down.
It's fear, that manifests into phobia's, then to the point of cutting off memories.
What's the fact: no one has seen, a couple have I went to collage, with, i just blow off the handle, mom calls, "yak! damnit!". Who's callin now? "Mr, you have not returned my phone calls, now i'm telling you, you call me now! you get it? who cares about that lunatic you live with...ON THE PHONE NOW!" I'm the boss!
you know....
Past stuff that's happened. And, i can't talk much anymore, just nerve's that are changing.
Posted by rjlockhart04-08 on April 12, 2009, at 21:30:20
In reply to Re: Nerve just a blew a ceruit » rjlockhart04-08, posted by Amelia_in_StPaul on April 12, 2009, at 21:21:56
Went to the ER, same thing would happen, after i left.
Just don't payattention, i've done this in the past, it's just time.
Now this she's in the room screamin! the lunatic!
God, someone hear this, this woman is awful.
Posted by Amelia_in_StPaul on April 12, 2009, at 21:32:43
In reply to Re: Nerve just a blew a ceruit, posted by rjlockhart04-08 on April 12, 2009, at 21:30:20
Do you have a doctor you can call first thing in the morning?
Posted by Zana on April 13, 2009, at 11:41:40
In reply to Re: Nerve just a blew a ceruit » rjlockhart04-08, posted by Amelia_in_StPaul on April 12, 2009, at 21:32:43
I agree that you should call your doctor. It does not sound to me like you are on the right meds at all. Do you have a pdoc? Anyone who is overseeing you meds?
Zana
Posted by Zyprexa on April 14, 2009, at 4:14:46
In reply to Re: Nerve just a blew a ceruit, posted by rjlockhart04-08 on April 12, 2009, at 21:09:46
why did you stop the zyprexa? Maybe you should go back on it?
Posted by rjlockhart04-08 on April 14, 2009, at 20:09:35
In reply to Re: Nerve just a blew a ceruit, posted by Zyprexa on April 14, 2009, at 4:14:46
It's not medications, it's the "enviorment"
I was stupid, get out when you 18, I'm posting, apply for jobs, but, man i tell ya, it's going to have to be multiple jobs.
I never know, if something, mom makes insults, i make insults back, that truth. She takes the keys, computer, locked me out the house....so forth.
At a point, you forgive, but after repeated times. Cross, the bible, and drive, stop feeling trama, that's why you got to "leave" stuff behind, building, or a ship, it has evacuation sequence, obviously in the worst scenario. That's what the mind does to toxic memories.
I'll be ok. That time was, it's the cirumstance, of what is happening, cause and effect, so some people have an effect from 1 small cause, or just an example. Instable nuetron...just the magnetic fields repel eachother.
On my side, i've said harsh things back, because it "needed" to aware, self-denial.....and when i was a bit younger, it was better, on the other hand, HS wasnt a success, but now, friends aqaintances are the only thing i have. Yet, i didnt associate, in the "real world" much, in the past.
_____________________________________
I notice on thing, mood changes, say random things that make people crack up, even on the floor it's so random. But, it's bring life to whatever that situation (meeting, social).Last, if relevent, I read scipture, when nails are being spit at me, it says "remove thy self from this rebellious house" "speak deciet behind closed doors, in vainty" - They do! i hear them, that's a fact for faith.
I'll put up the exact scipture, it was Isaiah, Ephisan's, II Corninthians."Lead out of Captivity"
Take care, i'm going be fine.
rj
Posted by Amelia_in_StPaul on April 19, 2009, at 13:46:11
In reply to Re: Nerve just a blew a ceruit, posted by rjlockhart04-08 on April 14, 2009, at 20:09:35
"They do! i hear them, that's a fact for faith."
--do you literally hear them? RJ, your thoughts as you write them are loose and random...I absolutely concur that you should go back on Zyprexa. Why did you go off? PLEASE call your doctor.
Posted by rjlockheart on April 19, 2009, at 23:26:16
In reply to Re: Nerve just a blew a ceruit, posted by Amelia_in_StPaul on April 19, 2009, at 13:46:11
just walk into the room, thier laying the freakin coach, make in insult, i make insult right back 7fold, usally put them right back in their place "well, why don't you look at yourself, get a mirror, now what's the reflection? lies, now spell it out" that usally what caused violance. It's argueing with arguement itself.
I just ignore it now, toxic, lie. Coming home, a few years back, it was a diffrent, but 18 is the AGE to leave! i stayed because i thought it was "safe" place, EEEiii wrong awnser! the worst place, now, there where things, I completely admit, got me here, through choice, and it ended, just couple months back, in memories being "manipulated, fragmented". When you go outside, everyone get's in with crowd, i didnt, yet people thought i was intresting....no, i'm not. Then, i started just "dealing" with it, get passive aggressive, alright bubba's, let's watch some golf, talk about the chicken where eatin, is it popeyes' or KFC? talk about "bake and shake" chicken places, anything.... it's a sub-way of saying "I don't want to be here, so slowly walk myself out the door..."
_____________________________________________Enough jib-jab chat, bottem line Zyprexa worked at a time, but the mind changes, the persona changes after....experience. Plus, it made ((((BIG)))) 3 years, finally i'm back down to 160lbs.
___________________________________________"Comfort Zone", i didnt want to let go, and plus, i realized alot of things where not shown, but, that was my fault for not catchin' on. Now, it's so real, it feel's "unreal". A reality Check...heard of it?
Anyways, thanks, by the way, people have asked me "are you sure" yea...excess dopamine is what causes "delusions", little out of reality, yet what is parody, you can hear a room of people talkin gossip about me for fun, that's why i walk in some situation in the past, "what's up, your#1fan is here, you want autographs?".
Plus i see what your saying, in the past, i have written, "hidious", but it's off the subject to get my mind out of reality, because....there's been crap that happened, i just forget about it. While back, 2004, is mainly the starting date here, i trusted everyone.....(another reality check hit 2005) That's why you forget people who are not worth rerembering, that's adaptation.
takecare
This is the end of the thread.
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