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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 19 of 19. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by zenhussy on September 8, 2006, at 14:53:42
neither here nor there nor places gone silent due to major member malfunctions .... there doesn't seem to be anywhere to escape the inane, the bothersome, the everyday realities of not with a ten foot polers.
reevaluate what it is you're doing.
think it over. really think it over. does it follow previous patterns? is this really a wise way to go about your path?
when the inner torment is expressed in a voice foreign to the masses...perhaps giving that voice time and space instead of labeling it in ways so far off they flew right by comedic and into silent painful discomfort.
>>It's always useful to know where a friend-and-relation is, whether you want him or whether you don't.<<
Winnie the Pooh
--Rabbit, Pooh's Little Instruction Book
Posted by zenhussy on September 9, 2006, at 11:46:28
In reply to any cure for hedgehogs?, posted by zenhussy on September 8, 2006, at 14:53:42
how frightening it can be to see when a person is followed around with another aping their vocabulary, their way of speaking, their way of being in this world. thank goodness for laws, rules, regulations, etc.
if not for verifiable copyrights a person might think they're crazy, but with accurate research a person can easily guess the motives of another. especially when the 'other' doesn't even know the definitions of the words they're using!
spooksville time! almost like a child who so desperately wants to be understood, they know no boundaries and no sense when it comes to what is appropriate and what is not.
life is trial and error. would this behaviour be called trial? error? what?
what about scary? rude? frightening? stalker-esque? inappropriate? sad? there are so many ways to describe....just as there are so many interpretations of reality...
does a person need to put their own issues aside to handle such an offence? or is this something that the 'other' will recognize and cease themselves?
time will tell. oh that beautiful mysterious time. ah, healer of many things..........that is if one allows for time to pass....
listening to Bombs Away--Zenyatta Mondatta--The Police....such a great album
Posted by zenhussy on September 9, 2006, at 20:36:31
In reply to interpretations of reality, posted by zenhussy on September 9, 2006, at 11:46:28
and detective like she pieces together her life....the lives lived and lost......the lives accounted for...............and the rest...
to find different accounts here and there in different forms takes some getting used to...
used to what? used to be? used to be able to?
able to what?
ah! there's the question that drives the intellect in circles....
circling and circling a person hopes that the spiral leads up instead of down...
down down down
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down
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very very down and low and depleted of what sustains a person.....the ability to be compassionate to the person behind the keys being tickity tapped while typing this drivel....
Posted by zenhussy on September 11, 2006, at 5:22:34
In reply to (she was a) hotel detective..., posted by zenhussy on September 9, 2006, at 20:36:31
Gone people all awkward with their things (lyric from Jack Johnson song....unsure of album or song title)
If only the people would go. If only there were peace inside. If only this chaos could be quieted. If only doesn’t solve anything. In only makes reality more painful to wonder all the non possibilities.
Instead of focusing on the negatives trying to find positives when this confused and mixed up and downright freaked out.
Chat with strangers? No way. This is too much for strangers. This is too much for me. This is more than I can handle. If I can’t handle this then how could anyone else possibly be able to?
Not thinking clearly. Not reasoning well. When this is how it gets or what it get to then it is time to take measures to gain assistance out of this space. Out of this stuck-ed-ness.
Could write a list a mile long about all that hasn’t gotten done. All that has been started and left hanging along the way. All those mysterious projects around that aren’t readily recognizable…to me that is. Last one in on the joke. The joke’s on me. I am the joke.
Hahahah. Funny stuff to see one’s own mind unravel and twist about trying to make sense of the nonsensical. Living alone is good. Living so far from everything is not so good. First time stuck this long out here. Total inability to start vehicle. Loaded up and ready to go but the neurons needed to fire the message from the brain to hand to turn the key just ain’t happening. Pfffftttzzzzzttt!
Even sitting long enough to get this out in uncomfortable. Can choices be made to override what is happening? Or is this just the cycle of things and ride it out? Stop fighting the river and BE the river. Be of the current. Struggle less, be more.
Be more what? Sane? Balanced? In control? In control of what? What needs controlling so badly? What is control? The ability to shut down certain things/thoughts/pieces/parts? Does this help? At times yes. Overall? No.
To deny is natural given the mindset of the predominant thinker. Scientific explanation is needed before much thought is given to alternatives. Faith is something easily given to the circumstances of others. To apply that faith to our own life would mean suspending our disbelief long enough to possibly believe. How is this believable?
Books written. Movies with either whacked out portrayals or criminal minds that have split and gone haywire. Where’s the hope in that? Where is the hope for those who aren’t Sally Field's Sybil or John Cusack’s character or Johnny Depp’s or Tim Robbins’ or name another murdering psycho with identity issues from mass Hollywood machines.
These images do not help. These mistaken beliefs are sad to us as we question why Law & Order has mental illness as a component of a majority of their crimes…especially their SVU spin off. Nothing more titillating than watching children raped and child porn rings and mental illness all tidied up into a 42 minute hour. This is entertainment people. This is what folks find to relax to. This is what we put into the subconscious of the masses. And we wonder why we are so terrified to be ourselves with those masses?
Nothing like a few fingers pointing, a few jokes at your expense, and those scars can go so deep as to prevent venturing forth again. The scar tissue may have grown over the healthy tendons and ligaments limiting their ability to freely move and do what was genetically programmed. That’s right……….even though split there is DNA in all of us that has genetic imperatives to life cycle through. That means that my denying the others is stifling my own DNA…..shared with them………and hampering my own ability to heal.
I’m the one in the way. I’m the one who is holding all this up. This is a stick up! Feels about like being robbed….…robbed of one’s life, one’s memories, one’s way of being…………so many things gone.
When does the time come when I get to list all the things that COME with this? When do I get to get to be grateful for this way of being? Instead of hating that I’m some sideshow circus freak for not being in control always and for being stupid enough to trust outside people with the whole truth of how it REALLY is inside.
Can that hatred be stopped? Will the violent thoughts go away? Will there be any semblance of harmony? Any possibility of balance and. And …. went away.
Over. Too much as it is. Going to print now.
© August 2006--name not used for privacy reasons and no typo check before typing this in here this morning. meh!
Posted by gardenergirl on September 11, 2006, at 13:09:20
In reply to ^^tmbg band for song above in sub. line^^, posted by zenhussy on September 11, 2006, at 5:22:34
...eliminating a barrier to continuing, in case you wish to...
gg
Posted by llrrrpp on September 12, 2006, at 10:02:45
In reply to Re:, posted by gardenergirl on September 11, 2006, at 13:09:20
Sometimes we're just not ready to take on what life dumps on us. It's okay to deflect and say no. No, I'm sorry, I just can't take care of it right now.
To say, I have to take care of myself, and part of that is to not allow others' problems to infect my heart.
To say, I am only one person, and I will do the best that I can.
To say, people make mistakes. there are all different levels of mistakes. mistakes to intentionally harm or maim with no other purpose. mistakes to make a point, to satisfy oneself, even if collateral damage occurs. mistakes that *may* harm another but serve the greater good(whatever that means). Sometimes we do things that seem like a good idea at the time, but the consequences are unexpected and we have regrets. And sometimes sh*t happens.
I don't know what your situation is. I wish there were some way to support you. Sounds like you're dealing with a lot right now. Anyways, I just wanted to let you know that pain is pain, and there's nothing sacred about it. It's vulgar and ugly and toxic. If writing about it helps you deal, that's wonderful. I wish I could say the same.
And one other gem from my advisor.
"The smartest people often don't remember where their ideas come from"
Said after the highest-profile, most reknowned person in my field delivered an address that "she had this idea that..." when the idea had been published and researched by another group.
Another example: again- high-profile reknowned person, who had this idea that "came to her in a dream" when actually it was the subject of an hour-long meeting the week before.
It's hard not to take it personally. You'd be justified in being offended. Apparently this type of error/mistake is a property of our human minds...
-ll
Posted by zenhussy on October 12, 2006, at 0:59:32
In reply to Re:, posted by llrrrpp on September 12, 2006, at 10:02:45
hmmmmm
if one says something enough does that make it true?
if one refuses to accept reality does that make their denial a new reality?
if one is so ill as to not be able to follow a course of treatment does that mean they're beyond hope?
if one freely gives away their power does that make them weak?
if one continues to lash out at the shadows instead of the light does that make them lost?
if one could answer any of these then one wouldn't need to post such things....
but then again we're not one so we are limited in how we relate to those who are
again we ask one to rethink what they're doing and why and then really really think whether or not this will help or if they're continuing on with old patterns, acting out old scenarios, living in the past while screaming they're here and now in the present.
learning to transform from victim to survivor takes a shift in thinking and a change in acceptance.
some will struggle and overcome
some will fall far short and give up
those who keep working on changing their ways of expression, their ways of relating, their ways of being in this world with others are the ones who can make that transformation
and when one is able to transform and grow then all things are possible
but then again one has to work, try, attempt, do, be, act, etc.
years of available work sit unused, dusty and sadly ignored when they contain many keys to unopened doors
please keep looking for the key(s) so that one doesn't have to keep trying to steal others keys or bust the lock which ends up harming more than helping
Posted by rainbutterfly on October 13, 2006, at 22:15:46
In reply to subject, posted by zenhussy on October 12, 2006, at 0:59:32
zenhussy,
Some of the points you have made have some validity. Especially if read in a general sense, rather than directed to/about a specific person. However, I find it sad that you feel the need to present your "argument", for lack of a better word, in such an extremely judgemental manner.
I will take what I can from this post. And I will try to discard the negatives. "weak"? "beyond hope"? There is no rule here that legislates that posts are "supportive". Perhaps you are fortunate that is the case. And.....stealing? yeah ok.
I am *ss u ming this post is re. me. If I am wrong, my apologies to this board. You have made a lot of incorrect *ss u mptions about me, "over time", zenhussy, and I do not appreciate that one bit.
I wish you well, despite our differences. Thank you for writing this here, as it gives me a chance to reply, in the light, so to say. I have read several side swipes typed by your hand in various places. Here and one other place, to be exact. I would congecture (and I haven't looked this word up to check for accurate meaning) such behaviour does not qualify as "healthy". As for your earlier comment re. being followed. (I seem to recall you expressed it in another........ more judgemental....... way). That is a very unpleasant FEELING that I have experienced myself. However, I did NOT come here to follow you. Frankly, I would be much happier if you were not here!! And if you were not judging.... um I mean reading... my posts elsewhere. I would feel MUCH safer. No offense intended... those are my honest feelings.
My hope is that, with time, either your judgements will mellow slightly or I will have changed enough for your feelings to change accordingly. In any case, I hope we can both co-exist in the vast cyber world without further hurt on either side. I have been VERY hurt by you. As you have said, several times, that feeling of hurt has been mutual.... I regret any part I have played in such dynamics. I do NOT accept all the responsibility for EVERYTHING that went wrong, however.
rainbutterfly
Posted by Dinah on October 14, 2006, at 11:43:28
In reply to Re: subject » zenhussy, posted by rainbutterfly on October 13, 2006, at 22:15:46
> However, I find it sad that you feel the need to present your "argument", for lack of a better word, in such an extremely judgemental manner.
I'm going to have to ask you to follow the civility guidelines of this site, which include not posting anything that can lead others to feel accused or put down.
If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
Follow-ups regarding these issues should be redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration. They, as well as replies to the above posts, should of course themselves be civil.
Dr. Bob is always free to override deputy decisions. His email is on the bottom of each page. Please feel free to email him if you believe this decision was made in error.
Dinah, acting as deputy for Dr. Bob
Posted by rainbutterfly on October 14, 2006, at 13:07:17
In reply to Please be civil » rainbutterfly, posted by Dinah on October 14, 2006, at 11:43:28
Dinah, that comment was a bit (possibly more than a bit) harsh and judgemental I agree. I am still learning how to effectively and safely express my hurt, fear and anger, both IRL and online. I will check my posts more carefully before submitting them in future.
My sincere thanks to zh and one other here for your assistance, even if/when perhaps unintentional, with my progress in learning these lessons.
My intention was not to offend anyone with this post. I can see how offense could be taken though. My intention was to express myself (in the light, which always involves risks, as does any form of expression) and possibly aid in conflict resolution or expression for some of the members or readers here.
Thank you for the space here which hopefully improves the sense of safety for all concerned. I have tried posting briefly on a few boards, and this is one of my favourites in some ways. I feel that there are a lot of positive lessons to be learned here, and I hope those are worth the potential risks, for everyone. My intention has never been to cause harm. In fact, although I do make mistakes (like everyone does) I feel very guilty if I hurt anyone. But I am learning that is occasionally inevitable, to sometimes trigger someone, for most posters online... otherwise it is harder to grow in some cases.
zh, I do respect many things about you and I would like to offer my sincere apology, once again, for any hurt I have caused you. I did used to care about you when we were in regular contact. I am not sure about my feelings now, but I do not wish you any harm, and I sometimes gain something positive from our very limited online interactions this year. Thank you for that.
My internet connection is playing up. If it were not, I would revise and hopefully improve this post. I wish every single person who reads this well.
rainbutterfly
Posted by zenhussy on October 16, 2006, at 13:04:38
In reply to Re: subject » zenhussy, posted by rainbutterfly on October 13, 2006, at 22:15:46
Posted by rainbutterfly on October 16, 2006, at 14:00:04
In reply to ??? wow rainy you sure had a lot to say, eh? golly (nm) » rainbutterfly, posted by zenhussy on October 16, 2006, at 13:04:38
lol.
Thanks for the compliment?
Posted by zenhussy on October 27, 2006, at 10:35:47
In reply to subject, posted by zenhussy on October 12, 2006, at 0:59:32
scarier than anything from inside the mind
more frightening than internal demons
entirely too much wreckage for all the wrong reasons
but of course this continues to fall on deafened ears and blind eyes and dark souls unable to comprehend how and why all this must stop and shift..........shifting is not easy when learning ways of being
again like a screaming child one waits them out knowing that eventually the child must take a deeper breath and will get hungry and tired and distracted
disease/disorder is that child at times....learning impulse control can take long beyond childhood for many
how our lives present the "lessons" and then how we get them to stick are genuinely two of the better things about this nutty ride called life (five ticket ride!)....especially the ones that are uncomfortable to learn or aren't presented in the most attractive fashion....those are the ones we need to pay the most attention to as the repetitions tend to become larger in scale and more damaging in nature when we fail to examine our lives and those unlearned/ignored presentations of learning that keep popping, popping, wham bam thank you ma'am popping up
Posted by Dr. Bob on October 28, 2006, at 11:28:31
In reply to Re: Please be civil » Dinah, posted by rainbutterfly on October 14, 2006, at 13:07:17
Posted by rainbutterfly on October 29, 2006, at 17:03:21
In reply to Re: thanks (nm) » rainbutterfly, posted by Dr. Bob on October 28, 2006, at 11:28:31
Posted by zenhussy on November 11, 2006, at 10:28:47
In reply to five ticket ride, posted by zenhussy on October 27, 2006, at 10:35:47
not T*T as this isn't about the Vietnamese New Year
not t*t as this isn't about a wee one
not T*T as this isn't about the informal name of some ancient Egyptian king
maybe t*t as some disbelief has been expressed
but most likely an eye 4 lace
feeling out of place
with no disgrace
sick of this rat race
and the whole stupid chase
alas this pace
leaves us in outer space
Posted by zenhussy on November 28, 2006, at 23:11:24
In reply to t*t for t*t OR eye 4 lace OR tip for tap, posted by zenhussy on November 11, 2006, at 10:28:47
innocent isn't a good look on those who aren't
compulsion...beyond control....inability to stop....total lack of willingness to think that nothing has changed and la di dah it's all good now
sickening
for the love of all that is holy in whatever world exists in that mind....please please please STOP this and GO
go away and give a chance to see what it is like without before returning with nonsense and whatnots
go far and wait a long time before
before
before the waybackmachine where one can find archives of so many pages and so many will remain there. expressions of gratitude for the ability to see these words years later...such calculation to this seeming randomness. the harm continues on no matter what is said or done.
hasn't taken yet, eh?
no cure for hedgehogs afterall
no couplet, no verse, no rhyme or reason to this other than freeing freeing FREEING those frightened by ongoing, unrelenting insanity
nevermore as was eloquently writ
by Poe we think if stopped for a bit
nevermore his raven doth said
an omen of death? no more dead
no more dead
Posted by zenhussy on January 17, 2007, at 11:00:49
In reply to more than one have felt your sting..., posted by zenhussy on November 28, 2006, at 23:11:24
doesn't matter how badly one wants to make their case........the more one tries the scarier one can seem to others.
the more one pushes an agenda the less likely anyone is to listen to one.
the ongoing rampant illness blinds one from recognizing just how far off the course they've wandered.
if this isn't working now then what makes one think it will start working at any time? what could possibly be going through one's head to even consider what has transpired as okay?
please please please remain away, remain in one's own world and stop what one has been up to all this time.....one isn't transparent.....one isn't subtle........and one isn't invisible.
the one who is most hurt is dear to our hearts......that makes this personal. do not bring this to us again. we will take appropriate actions if we are contacted again.
time to put an end to the fun and games as they're not so funny when ppl are carried off the fields. one has created harm and hurt....one has chosen to use intent against another....scary and sad to know that one's actions are the result of not choosing treatment. to know that this could be avoided is some of the most baffling of all.....
Posted by zenhussy on March 1, 2007, at 11:34:22
In reply to just stop...stop trying....stop doing...JUST STOP!, posted by zenhussy on January 17, 2007, at 11:00:49
elephants, butterflies and bears oh my stars!
spiders too for weaving these webs that all animals twist and spin into their lives.careful of the venom inside the spider.
careful of the poison powder on the wings of the butterfly.
careful of the bear...well it is a bear after all...one of few predators of man.
careful of the elephant as she thinks she remembers all when she only remembers parts.in a boat, in a car, not here, nor there, not very far.
on a train, in a plane, do not like them for they're insane!
not now, not then, not ever indeed
please stop this madness that is your life's greed.online can be like carving in stone....hard to explain the words later...or like a tattoo one regrets getting. remember that next time your chisel is out and you're wooing your newest batch of larvae.
renenber that fella in his twenties who would hang around with high schoolers? the girls all thought he was hot sheet and the dudes thought he was tough. turns out he was only an insecure person who was afraid to relate to ppl his own age so he sought a younger, less discerning, more accepting audience. high schoolers put up with his antics...while his peers would have let him know it was time to grow up and move on. of course he chose to remain w/ the kids! why grow and challenge oneself when one can coast?
audience turnover can help keep one stuck...or stable...depending on perspective.
This is the end of the thread.
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