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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by ClearSkies on October 17, 2005, at 15:30:51
Like the Eveready rabbit beating my drum.
I've had a tough time with anxiety. Weaned off from xanax during the last couple of weeks and now have to deal with the waves of yuck panic and the clutch at my chest. When I've worried about it - should I take a pill, I'm not in a place (physically) to meditate, what if it's my blood pressure going high that I feel, etc... then I start to worry about something else while feeling like crap.
Then when I come back to it, it's... gone. For the time being, anyways. Without me having had to do anything, it just kind of ebbed away. It ebbs back, of course, but I think I will be able to stay xanax free. Hopefully my anxiety will continue its retreat, slowly.This is what my sobriety has been like so far. When I start to worry about it, my mind starts to jump all over the place. I start to worry about something else, and then when I get back to worrying about staying sober, I'm ALRIGHT. I'm OK. I'm still sober, another day has passed.
It's quite remarkable.
If I don't do anything, I'm still sober.I'm very much relying on my local sobriety group for their support. The intense relationships formed during the outpatient programme have turned to dust. Without the daily therapy to feed those relationships, they have been starved of their livelihoods, and withered. I took it quite personally (that's me, look for the thorns on the rose being offered to me!) but have since been told by a couple of people that it's happened to them too. So I'm letting that go, and it's OK.
Posted by antigua on October 17, 2005, at 18:55:49
In reply to Still going, posted by ClearSkies on October 17, 2005, at 15:30:51
Something that has helped me lately is to remind myself that I CHOOSE to live a sober life. I really like it this way. I don't know why it helps, but it does--instead of denying myself the alcohol, I'm making a choice with my life. Silly, maybe, but it helps.
antigua
Posted by gardenergirl on October 17, 2005, at 22:15:47
In reply to Still going, posted by ClearSkies on October 17, 2005, at 15:30:51
Posted by ClearSkies on October 17, 2005, at 22:21:23
In reply to Re: Still going, posted by antigua on October 17, 2005, at 18:55:49
Hmm. I have eliminated drinking as a choice, but the worries about the behaviour are the ghosts that haunt me intermittently.
If anything, my anxiety is a lot more persistent. I guess that's good? Sure would like to go through an outpatient programme for anxiety and panic disorder.
And then can I go on one for depression?
Then I'll be all better I think.
<<guffaw>>
Posted by verne on October 17, 2005, at 23:43:46
In reply to Still going, posted by ClearSkies on October 17, 2005, at 15:30:51
That's great that you're still sober and weaned off xanax. Getting off benzos takes awhile but with each day, like you said, the anxiety will slowly retreat.
I've been making hazy plans to drink if a friend visits - just to get through it. Like in that movie, "28 Days" the rehab people tell them, not to get into a relationship until they've kept a pet and a plant alive for a year, I'm probably not ready for a visit at 90 days.
I'm still reeling from the flu (probably just a cold but that's the flu for this hypochondriac) and can't think straight. Perhaps, I'll cancel the impending visit and postpone it indefinitely.
Here I'm in the biggest battle and adventure of my life, and for my life, and yet I worry about the dishes piling up, a leaky water pipe that's patched for the time being, next year's garden, the bathtub tile and my bedraggled appearance. The birdfeeders are empty, the birdbaths need cleaning, and the lawn needs haying. What small stuff.
I really lose perspective. Doesn't help that several lights have burned out in the last 3 months and I haven't had the will or wherewithal to replace them. My light box is buried in my "library", which is somewhere behind a pile of unopened UPS boxes - more books I think.
But thankfully I'm still not drinking. And, once again, I think it's great you're not drinking and are making it without xanax. Have you found any alternative approaches that help with anxiety?
I'm continually trying new herbs and supplements so if you have a question about one, let me know. I'm no Larry Hoover (gee, I miss him) but I can share what I know from experience and my limited reading.
Verne
Posted by ClearSkies on October 18, 2005, at 10:10:01
In reply to Re: Still going, posted by verne on October 17, 2005, at 23:43:46
It's those little things.
Doing stuff around the house.
Cleaning an untidy pile of papers.
Changing lightbulbs.
Filling or emptying the dishwasher.
Not being able to do these things can consume me with anxiety so out of proportion to their importance. I even realize it at the time! but it doesn't help it stop. It just confirms to me that I'm a whacko.I'm going to give my therapist a last chance at addressing my anxiety. Next week I see my p-doc and I'll talk to her about it too. I can get through a time of anxiety or a panic attack, but I have to abruptly change the direction of my day to do it. Not wanting to give in to the anxiety is my motivation at the moment.
I've tried herbal supplements in the past without much success. I think that's mostly due to me trying to blindly pick a remedy off a shop's shelf or a self help book. I need more guidance than that!
Posted by AuntieMel on October 19, 2005, at 8:43:34
In reply to Re: Still going » verne, posted by ClearSkies on October 18, 2005, at 10:10:01
I have been using aromatherapy to help with anxiety attacks. I keep a bag of lavender buds with me and when I start getting anxious I put it up to my nose and take a deep breath (or four.)
I don't know if it's the smell - lavender is supposed to be soothing - or the deep breaths but it works for me.
Posted by verne on October 19, 2005, at 18:52:09
In reply to Re: Aromatherapy?, posted by AuntieMel on October 19, 2005, at 8:43:34
I have a sleep mask with lavender sewn inside. I couldn't use it at first because it was too strong - my eyes would burn. Took two years to air out enough to use on a regular basis.
veeble
Posted by clearskies on October 20, 2005, at 7:15:01
In reply to Re: Aromatherapy?, posted by AuntieMel on October 19, 2005, at 8:43:34
I have an entire array of oils, candles, and incense that I use. They really help calm me, and help me focus.
Yesterday was the WORST. Had about 5 minutes total of calm, and kept gulping air like a goldfish flopping around on the floor. Yuck. I think it was knowing that not only am I completely off the xanax now (just a few days); but I'm travelling at the moment and I even left my pill bottle behind so I wouldn't be tempted to medicate.
And this morning I am fine. No residual panic at all. Isn't the brain a puzzling thing?
CS
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