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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Porter on November 10, 2003, at 17:02:22
This is my first time doing this (I have no idea if I am doing it correctly) I guess I just thought this would be a way to talk to people about issues, etc. that I would otherwise be unwilling to talk about.
I stopped drinking about three weeks ago (Not my first attempt) and it was going allright though I couldn't sleep without swallowing a lot of pills. The last couple of nights I finished off the last of a bourbon bottle left over from the last binge. Taking quite a bit of pills with it.
I am seeing a psychologist and have been put on effexor for depression and anxiety but I don't think either one is doing a bit of good.
I still am not sure if I want to try drinking in moderation or complete abstinence. Has anyone had success with moderation? I am not sure if I even want that; I never really drink to be social, though I can't be social without drinking. And I love getting drunk.
I had a successful break from drinking a while ago but gave that up when I was deployed (military). Not that there were many opportunities to drink in Afghanistan but when I got back I hit it with a vengeance. On a layover in Germany, I drank for four days, jumping out second floor window, crushing ankle, etc. Crazy time. And since I got home it only got worse. School went o.k. untill I got kicked off campus for drunken harrassment, resisting police, etc. We found an appartment but I was horribly depressed and feeling hopeless. I stopped going to classes and was drinking in the morning right after I woke up. Drinking allday everyday lying to my roommate untill he found me destroyed one night. Don't remember much but crying etc.
So I stopped drinking and started seeing the therapists.
Still taking pills, xanax, vicadin, sleeping pills so I don't really feel sober. I know I can't fall asleep without medication,
I guess this is a long and pointless message, I just wanted to hear about peoples experiences with not drinking, and with depression medications. I don't know anything. Thank you.
Posted by antigua on November 11, 2003, at 13:52:01
In reply to New to this and that, posted by Porter on November 10, 2003, at 17:02:22
I'm new to this board. I can certainly relate to your questions and concerns about drinking and antidpressants. I've been sober for almost 4 months now and it hasn't been easy. I tried moderation for years and I just couldn't do it. I always convinced myself I could, but after several "moderated" episodes, I would drink to excess. My life was hell. My husband was constantly angry at me and I couldn't hide it from my kids anymore.
Finally, I had an accident while drunk and hurt myself. I got put on painkillers and found ways to be even more out of control with the combination of pills and alcohol. About six weeks after the accident I decided to quit "for good". Ha, how many times had I said that before? This time I went into intensive outpatient rehab (first time) and made a real mess of myself.
I was depressed before I quit, but things quickly spun out of control after I quit. The rehab therapy knocked me off my feet--I had a therapist I couldn't relate to, one who actually did much more harm than good and really messed with my mind. I think her therapy (rational recovery) just went against everything I had been working on w/my own therapist for many, many years. I didn't know where to turn.
I went on effexor (150), and although I'm not sure it works for me, my dr. seems to think so. She says it's a med that takes away feeling and asked if I could even imagine how bad I would be if I wasn't on it? I was on prozac about 7 years ago and that helped with my last bout of depression, but she didn't consider that this time.
My "severe" depression runs in about 6-7 year cycles; otherwise I have just run of the mill depression. It gets worse every time.
I've lost 30 lbs. on effexor--not a good thing really for me, and I have to force myself to eat. I'm tired all the time and have very little motivation.
Contrary to the advice I received in rehab, my dr. has given me Xanax, with strict controls, to get through this stage. I worry that I am just replacing one drug w/another, but I can't be w/o right now.
I'm an anomaly--I can't say that I really feel better not drinking and I do miss the numbness that it provided. I have never had a "pink cloud" and I don't wake up feeling great. All I do know is that I'm not drinking today, and that's a good thing. My problems are all still there and now that I'm not drinking I have to face them every day.
Good luck...
Posted by Porter on November 11, 2003, at 14:21:24
In reply to Re: New to this and that, posted by antigua on November 11, 2003, at 13:52:01
Thanks for the reply, and the understanding. You've seemed to have a pretty tough go of things. I can't imagine what it is like to have children and a family. I feel like I can barely take care of myself.
I have little hope about the antidpressants working. I am considering taking some other stuff for the anxiety (xanax, valium, etc.) but would probably do it without a prescription. And I no I would just be substituting one chemical for another. I just don't really see any better way.
When I was drinking I think I felt like I had a purpose (death?); now I just feel empty. And at least I could sleep...well, pass out anyway. Now, I am swallowing a handful of sleeping pills everynight and can still barely sleep.
I am getting nothing done and I feel like I am just getting deeper and deeper into a hole everyday. I thought sobriety was supposed to improve things!
I'd like to hear more about your therapy (what you've tried, etc.) I am seeing a therapist and I am not sure if it's accomplishing anything. I don't even know what to say to him.
Thank you again and good luck.
Posted by antigua on November 11, 2003, at 18:17:26
In reply to Re: New to this and that, posted by Porter on November 11, 2003, at 14:21:24
Sobriety does improve things, but it takes time. Or at least that's what everyone keeps promising me. Right now, sobriety is about all I have to hold onto and I refuse to give into my drinking demon.
Do you know why you drink? Do you know what it is that drives you to excess? I've been taught (and I do believe) that you have to fully address the underlying issues in order to really stop abusing substances. It's all part of therapy. First you quit the substances. Then you're left w/a huge emotional mess that you have to work your way through before you feel really good about yourself, and won't want to drink. Getting through that minefield w/o drinking is really, really tough. I'm not there yet either.
My therapist always told me that my drinking "problem" would resolve itself once I resolved my other issues. I believed her for a long time, and she may still be right, but after my accident I couldn't afford to keep drinking to see if she was right. So quitting has made my life awful in many ways because I have to deal w/my problems all the time. All I have to go on is my inner strength, which really isn't very strong.
Are you familiar w/ antabuse and naltrexone? They can be helpful. I've tried them both. I don't know if naltrexone cut down my cravings (I still have them constantly), but I do know that when I tested it by drinking, I certainly didn't get that great, warm feeling that I would get w/my first glass of wine. It was bizarre, so I think it works for me. I used antabuse for a time, but I really didn't like how it made me feel so I don't take that anymore.
As to therapy, my therapist primarily practices psychodynamic and every little thing, or thought, has some type of meaning. In my case,as with most people, everything goes back to childhood,my parents and the type of life I had when I was young. I believe in this approach because I have come to understand that I am who I am because of certain events. And now that I know the effects my childhood had on me, I can try to change my behavior so that the results are different for me as an adult. I think that's where rational emotive therapy comes into it for me--changing my emotions and reactions from irrational to rational so that I can live and function in the world instead of living in my head all the time.
Sorry if this is confusing.
Posted by Navneeta on November 12, 2003, at 4:58:54
In reply to New to this and that, posted by Porter on November 10, 2003, at 17:02:22
what i can infer from your email is that, you have tried n number of times to quit, but dont seem to refrain for a long time.
Well, what i can say is, all you have to understand is, drinking dosent take you anywhere.social drinking or drinking in moderation is fine. but in your case, drinking in moderation wont help much becuase it will drag you to the point where you dont want to go. So, the thing you should realise is, i have family, people love me and i want to have a lovely life with them for the rest of my life. Show yourself a "carrot". maybe a "great husband/wife" or a "beautiful child" or a "great job" or " a great friend".Tell yourself , that you have to reach this goal. and to reach this goal,drinking is a hurdle and you have to overcome it.
Try it.Good luck. navneeta
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