Posted by antigua on November 11, 2003, at 13:52:01
In reply to New to this and that, posted by Porter on November 10, 2003, at 17:02:22
I'm new to this board. I can certainly relate to your questions and concerns about drinking and antidpressants. I've been sober for almost 4 months now and it hasn't been easy. I tried moderation for years and I just couldn't do it. I always convinced myself I could, but after several "moderated" episodes, I would drink to excess. My life was hell. My husband was constantly angry at me and I couldn't hide it from my kids anymore.
Finally, I had an accident while drunk and hurt myself. I got put on painkillers and found ways to be even more out of control with the combination of pills and alcohol. About six weeks after the accident I decided to quit "for good". Ha, how many times had I said that before? This time I went into intensive outpatient rehab (first time) and made a real mess of myself.
I was depressed before I quit, but things quickly spun out of control after I quit. The rehab therapy knocked me off my feet--I had a therapist I couldn't relate to, one who actually did much more harm than good and really messed with my mind. I think her therapy (rational recovery) just went against everything I had been working on w/my own therapist for many, many years. I didn't know where to turn.
I went on effexor (150), and although I'm not sure it works for me, my dr. seems to think so. She says it's a med that takes away feeling and asked if I could even imagine how bad I would be if I wasn't on it? I was on prozac about 7 years ago and that helped with my last bout of depression, but she didn't consider that this time.
My "severe" depression runs in about 6-7 year cycles; otherwise I have just run of the mill depression. It gets worse every time.
I've lost 30 lbs. on effexor--not a good thing really for me, and I have to force myself to eat. I'm tired all the time and have very little motivation.
Contrary to the advice I received in rehab, my dr. has given me Xanax, with strict controls, to get through this stage. I worry that I am just replacing one drug w/another, but I can't be w/o right now.
I'm an anomaly--I can't say that I really feel better not drinking and I do miss the numbness that it provided. I have never had a "pink cloud" and I don't wake up feeling great. All I do know is that I'm not drinking today, and that's a good thing. My problems are all still there and now that I'm not drinking I have to face them every day.
Good luck...
poster:antigua
thread:278301
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20031014/msgs/278608.html