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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by TexasChic on July 23, 2004, at 12:43:23
Okay, this is whiny and immature, but I needed to get it out.
Our whole office was going out to lunch together today because our bosses are out of town and we can take a longer lunch. I had planned to run to the dentist office to pick up something during my lunch break. When I heard everyone was going I said to the whole room, "Well if nobody will tell on me, I'll go to lunch with yall and then swing by the dentist office afterwards. My co-worker (and friend) asks me where the dentist is. I tell her and she says that it is a long way and I will be gone an extra 45 minutes. I told her its never taken me that long, its very close. She said, well, what about the traffic? And I said, why would there be traffic this time of day? Then I asked her, so what's the matter, are you going to tell on me or something? She said, no, I was just pointing out that it wouldn't be just a 'little while' (which I never actually said anyway). So then when they were leaving, people started asking me why I was still sitting there, aren't I going? I said, no, I have an errand to run. One girl said, I thought you said you were going to swing by after lunch? I wanted to say, well I was but apparently Stacy (not her real name) doesn't approve, but instead I said I just changed my mind. Stacy looked at me and just walked out the door. I know she knew why I wasn't going. We had just had the conversation about 5 minutes before. So after they left I sat and cried at my desk. This desk has had too much crying. Now I feel terrible and depressed.
Posted by partlycloudy on July 23, 2004, at 12:56:03
In reply to Crying at my desk, posted by TexasChic on July 23, 2004, at 12:43:23
Why are people so mean and vindictive? I cried yesterday at something my boss said which was basically thoughtless.
You have a good cry. I bet your eyes don't turn all red and swollen and your lips get sore like mine do. I'm better than you. Nyah!
Posted by karen_kay on July 23, 2004, at 13:05:31
In reply to Crying at my desk, posted by TexasChic on July 23, 2004, at 12:43:23
ask for forgiveness than permission (and much easier too!).
if i were in that situation, i would have gone to lunch, on the way out casually mentioned 'oopsie, i have to swing by the dentist's office, be back in a flash.' smiled and left before anyone could say anything. (for future reference)
some people are laid back, some people ask questions, some people are pickers (and say 'well, but that'll take precisely four minutes and 3 dollars in gas and i'll need a buck fifty from you for gas'). what i try to do is be thankful i'm the laid back type and not the one always houding my friends with 'i need a dollar fifty for gas in my car' or 'well, that's not just right across the street and you could run into traffic'. while your friend may not have known it made you feel left out (she probably jsut thought she was being helpful to you in pointing out that you'd have a drive on your hands, i'm sure), she did make you feel that way. but, i tend to find that when my friends make me feel like that (i'm sensitive at times) it's best not to talk to them because they get defensive (they say 'what? ytou can't be serious! if i didn't want you to go, i would have said so! you can't be serious!') instead, i just have to realize that i need to be even more careful with my words, so that when i run into people who are sensitive like me, i won't hurt them. and i'm thankful that i don't hit people up for gas money when we go to the movies together.
your friend probably won't change. maybe you can jsut accept she didn't mean anything by it. just that she was trying to be helpful in telling you that you could be looking at a rough drive. she jsut didn't phrase it the right way.
and don't cry sweetie.
and DON'T reply to anyone else but me! or i'll scream!!!!!
Posted by B2chica on July 23, 2004, at 14:04:14
In reply to Crying at my desk, posted by TexasChic on July 23, 2004, at 12:43:23
first and foremost (((((((TexasChic)))))))
Ok, chica. i have to totally agree with kk about the forgiveness THAN permission thing. it's none of their business where your errand takes you anyway.
especially to "those" types of "friends".and that is NOT whiny or immature, you were hurt and upset by what happened.
that "stacy" sounds like someone i'd like to meet in dark ally. ;^)
'you want i should rough her upa bit?' sorry, couldn't resist saying that.Yes, please no non-violent lectures here. sometimes i just get really frustrated with people always treating others so poorly. why do some feel they Always need to put someone down, or make them feel less, or NIT-Pick on them???
and lets face it, what does "stacy" care if you ARE 4 hours late? will it effect HER job? will it harm her in any way?
i really do not like it when work people act like this. to me it says they don't have enough work to keep them busy, that they find it their job to nose into others lives.-so here's my solution. TexasChic you have a nice cry, but not too long. you are a bright, beautiful vibrant woman, that has charm and dignity of which NO ONE can take from you. You have compassion and understanding and patience with others. You have truly wonderful gifts that most people will never have. Also, you are sensitive to others, but not enough to yourself.
Be kind to yourself. hold your head up high, be proud of who you are...i am.
i am honored to know you. you have helped me many times and you always make me feel good. you warm my heart as i am sure you have done to many, many others both here and IRL.we love you, so who gives a rip about 'stacy who'?
if she act like that, then we should almost feel sad for her. she has the mentality of a 9th grader who will probably never change. she will never grow as a human being and what could be more sad. she will never grow in understanding, in compassion, in love, or in life.
YOU already have, in great strides i might add.remember...head held high.
I don't believe that one person is better or worse than others, but i do believe that you are much stronger than her. and you are certainly more virtuous.Love lots
B2c.
Posted by TexasChic on July 23, 2004, at 14:11:03
In reply to it's better to.., posted by karen_kay on July 23, 2004, at 13:05:31
I know she probably didn't say it to be mean, that's why I said I was being whiney and immature. But you're right about not giving people the opportunity to question you. I'll have to keep that in mind.
She's being all happy and nice now, so I'm guessing she didn't even know I was upset. Except for the way she looked at me when I said I wasn't going. She knew I was upset. I know she did. I guess I've gone from crying to mad now.
And my eyes do get puffy from crying PC! (Please don't scream KK, I only 'replied' to you). If I cry and then lay down, they actually swell up and make me look like a freak! Then it takes forever to go away!
Okay, I think I'm better now. Although I have a hard time letting things go. But only the little things. I let the big things slide on by!
Man, I keep alternating between being okay and getting all angry and indignant.
And on that note, I guess I'll get back to work. Thanks for the support yall!
Posted by TexasChic on July 23, 2004, at 14:21:23
In reply to Re: Crying at my desk...ok, BUT » TexasChic, posted by B2chica on July 23, 2004, at 14:04:14
Wow! Thanks B2chica! That was so incredibly nice! You make me feel better too.
Its true 'Stacy' can be a bit immature, but she is a good 8 years younger than me. And she likes to argue, which I think was more what that whole thing was about. Right now she is the only friend I really have irl, and she has really been there for me. So I can't let you rough her up. But its nice to be able to complain about her once in a while. I'm learning that I seem to navigate towards strong willed people. My T says I need to find more laid back people like me.
Thanks so much for your kind words. I better get to work now.
Posted by TexasChic on July 23, 2004, at 15:07:05
In reply to Re: Crying at my desk...ok, BUT » B2chica, posted by TexasChic on July 23, 2004, at 14:21:23
Okay, she just left for the day and went over to our other co-worker and said, call me about tonight. The fact that she didn't include me really pissed me off. It just felt like an obvious shun.
I just ignored her as she said bye to everyone. Real mature, right? That's my usual response when I get angry. She know's that too, she's mentioned it. So, I know she knew I was mad. But does she bother to ask what's wrong? No-o-o-o. God, I just need to get away from this job. That's about the only thing we ever fight about.
Well, that and her pathedic excuse for a boyfriend. Last Friday a bunch of us from work went out, and we were talking about how this one guy there was drunk one time & kept tring to get me and Stacy to kiss (we had been talking about an epi on Friends). It was all in fun and we just laughed and pretended we were about to kiss. So we were laughing about that night and the boyfriend says, "You better not be messing around with my girlfriend". This is not the first time he's said something to that effect either. But this time there were people from work to overhear, and as we were walking to the car they said, "So what was *that* all about?? Is there something we don't know?" Now I have no problem with being called gay. Heck, I may even give it a try sometime in the future (I try to stay open minded – I don't want to miss out on anything because of preconcieved notions!). But as of now I've never had any sort of encounter with a another girl. So it just really pissed me off that he acts like that. I've given him no reason to think that would ever happen. And my co-workers obviously realized it was said maliciously by the way they acted. He is just so insecure, selfish, co-dependant, annoying, bigoted, arrogant, dumb and just agggggggg!!! (that was a yell of frustration). When he found out I was agnostic he said, so you don't believe in morals? God I hate him.
Okay, deep breath. That was a rant and I know it. I think I've been keeping things bottled up for too long. I just had to let it out.
Anyway, I think I'm through now. And I *really* do need to get to work though. Thanks for listening!
Posted by B2chica on July 23, 2004, at 15:10:40
In reply to Re: Crying at my desk...ok, BUT » B2chica, posted by TexasChic on July 23, 2004, at 14:21:23
>>I'm learning that I seem to navigate towards strong willed people. My T says I need to find more laid back people like me.
do kinda have to agree with your T. mostly cuz if you have a too strong a willed friend they may take advantage and start to order you around or talk you into things that you couldn't/wouldn't say no too. this could harm you.
but,
hehehe. ya, sorry bout that. i'm in my typical protective mode. i tend to get quite like a momma lion with people i care about. i'm all about the protector thing when i'm level.Believe me, i'm sure this is a major psychological 'issue' with me.
-even though i haven't gotten into this with my T, i know i act like that, sort of for myself. it's cuz that's what i've been looking for my whole life and never got so i became it- that protector figure. i think that's why i'm so in love with vincent d'nofrio (did i spell my love's name right?) he IS the perfect 'protector' he's everything i've been looking for my whole life. Careing, Passionate, Strong, Very intelligent, excellent word play, Gets the bad guy but good and has a look that would RIP an abuser to shreds and make them confess and apologize to it all in a heartbeat!!!! i would curl up on his lap and in his arms Anyday!
....smile...headtilt...daze...gleemy eyed...snap!
i'm sorry, what was i talking about?B2c.
Posted by ghost on July 23, 2004, at 15:13:53
In reply to Crying at my desk, posted by TexasChic on July 23, 2004, at 12:43:23
i just want to say screw Stacy and good for you-- you could even tell on THEM for taking a long lunch if you wanted (although you probably won't because you're so darn nice)... but *you* did a good thing and just skipped out. It's too bad you didn't go and bond with your co-workers, but there will be other times.
i think you did the right thing, so don't feel bad, okay? or try not to.
lots of love,
ghost
Posted by AuntieMel on July 23, 2004, at 15:18:17
In reply to Re: Crying at my desk...ok, BUT, posted by TexasChic on July 23, 2004, at 15:07:05
It wasn't so long ago that you would have been a *lot* more upset about something like this, and for a *whole lot* longer.
Yippee!
Posted by TexasChic on July 23, 2004, at 15:25:40
In reply to Re: Amazing progress » TexasChic, posted by AuntieMel on July 23, 2004, at 15:18:17
I can't believe I have such a cheering section! Yall are the greatest! And I listen to everything each of you says and take it to heart. Thank you.
This is the end of the thread.
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