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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 17 of 17. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by obsidian on September 3, 2008, at 22:55:28
what are the things that you do and/or don't do that constitute self care for you?
Posted by obsidian on September 3, 2008, at 22:56:36
In reply to self care, what is it?, posted by obsidian on September 3, 2008, at 22:55:28
what is it good for?
Posted by Maria01 on September 4, 2008, at 0:36:55
In reply to and the sequel...WAR...HUH...good god y'all...., posted by obsidian on September 3, 2008, at 22:56:36
HUH absolutely nothin'! ;)
Posted by JayMac on September 4, 2008, at 1:20:12
In reply to self care, what is it?, posted by obsidian on September 3, 2008, at 22:55:28
> what are the things that you do and/or don't do that constitute self care for you?
I do different things at different times. I read. I play piano or guitar. I journal. Today I bought myself a new water bottle (it helps with my oral fixation, jk, well not really, lol). Sometimes I buy myself frozen yogurt and I enjoy every last bite. Many times listening to music helps me a whole lot. If I'm really feeling spunky, I'll go to the beach and take a walk/jog.
What do you all do?
Posted by Sigismund on September 4, 2008, at 4:21:58
In reply to Re: self care, what is it?, posted by JayMac on September 4, 2008, at 1:20:12
I have a bad back which encourages me to do regular Pilates and Feldenkrais.
After a few years I felt a bit better.
Posted by Racer on September 4, 2008, at 9:52:06
In reply to Re: and the sequel...WAR...HUH...good god y'all...., posted by Maria01 on September 4, 2008, at 0:36:55
I'm not good at self care, but there are a few things that seem to be helpful for me:
If things are so bleak and awful that I can't bear life, I read Jane Austen. Her books are so dang funny, they always help me laugh.
If I'm being very negative in my self-talk -- not like that happens, right? -- I'll remind myself that I don't have to be, and practice saying to myself the same sorts of things I'd say to a friend. (Some of those reading this may actually have heard what I'd say to a friend, so you can judge if this would be helpful or not.)
Sometimes I'll give myself permission to sit back and do nothing but sit in front of the TV, knit, play online, and generally be non-productive. I'll give myself a very strict-yet-manageable goal for the day -- "today I will get dressed," or "today I'm going to try to watch all the Star Trek episodes I've got Tivo'd, so that I can delete them," or if it's really bad, "today I'll exchange oxygen through my lungs" -- and then when I find myself starting in on the self-contempt, I'll remind myself, "I'm dressed -- met all my goals for the day..." It doesn't help as much as I'd like, but it's better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick, y'know?
Creams and lotions -- from the eating disorder, my skin is often so dry it cracks badly, and it's painful. One of the only physical sorts of self-care I practice and enjoy -- it's hard for me to allow myself to enjoy this sort of self care -- is using lotions and creams. My hands get so bad, I'll sometimes use pure lanolin, which takes forever to sink in, so I'll be rubbing and working it in for a long time. It's hard for me to allow myself to feel the emotions involved sometimes, but I do feel it as self care -- I could do so much more to care for anyone else, of course, but since it's me, it's harder.
Dunno what else I do, if anything...
And based on the references, the three of out oughta plan to go dancing...
Posted by onceupon on September 4, 2008, at 13:15:15
In reply to Say it again »Obsidian » Maria01, posted by Racer on September 4, 2008, at 9:52:06
Sleep - that counts, right? I crochet, play trucks with my son, read, surf the web ;), run (very occasionally), watch TV episodes on DVD (into Battlestar Galactica right now - mmm, love me some Lee Adama) and so on.
It's good to think about this every now and then - thanks for the prompt.
Posted by Sigismund on September 4, 2008, at 14:17:04
In reply to Re: Say it again, posted by onceupon on September 4, 2008, at 13:15:15
Sleep certainly does.
The Dalai Llama was asked the secret to happiness and answered 'Nine hours sleep a night'.
Posted by onceupon on September 4, 2008, at 14:20:53
In reply to Re: Say it again » onceupon, posted by Sigismund on September 4, 2008, at 14:17:04
Amen to that!
Posted by obsidian on September 4, 2008, at 21:49:26
In reply to Re: Say it again » Sigismund, posted by onceupon on September 4, 2008, at 14:20:53
to do self care that doesn't simply amount to withdrawal and avoidance, a reaction to feeling overwhelmed
I saw my T today. I must have known what I need to do at some level, because the discussion ended up being about self care.
I am taking some grad school classes. I already have a master's degree, but I feel like I need more for several reasons that are valid.
anyway, new routine, new place, new people to get used to and well, there I go again feeling like the most objectionable thing breathing. Feeling less than everyone else, feeling stupid, feeling like a loser, feeling pathetic.I signed up for three classes. I work full time. It's a big commitment. I am also less than reliable at my job, I struggle to be there, on time and present. I take four freaking medications, including seroquel which makes me sedated and needing more sleep. I'd love to not feel like I need them.
My T thinks three classes are too much. He makes some good points.
Self care? hmmmm...interesting concept
The thing is I suppose that I've never seemed to have my life adjusted to a volume comfortable to me. It's always felt overwhelming, I've felt
thrown into situation after situation that I was not ready for.
oh wait, I have a poem that fits:Stevie Smith "She said..."
She said as she tumbled the baby in:
There, little baby, go sink or swim,
I brought you into the world, what more should I do?
Do you expect me always to be responsible for you?What does this amount to? The old "suck it up" idea.
1. suck it up
To endure a period of mental, physical, or emotional hardship with no complaining.
"I don't care if you're sad, get out there, suck it up and deal with it!"This is not to say however that everything I might experience is a hardship, it certainly is not, but being realistic about my limits and being concerned about my well-being...well, I'm not used to that
Posted by Sigismund on September 4, 2008, at 22:50:09
In reply to it's hard for me....(sorry this got long), posted by obsidian on September 4, 2008, at 21:49:26
You have a masters degree, you work, you are not well (the whole meds thing) and you feel like
>less than everyone else, feeling stupid, feeling like a loser, feeling pathetic
and, you are doing 3 classes.My goodness. Will these expectations you have of yourself ever end? I mean really, you have done extraordinarily well. It must be hard for you just to do nothing.
I could give you lessons in slackness.
Posted by lemonaide on September 5, 2008, at 0:01:29
In reply to self care, what is it?, posted by obsidian on September 3, 2008, at 22:55:28
OB,
Self care is many things that others have mentioned. But it is mostly taking care of yourself. Don't you think you are spreading yourself a bit thin with all those classes and a full time job, plus therapy (that is at least equal to a part time job, i think)? I think your T is right, 3 classes are a lot. (unless they are super easy or something that you love).
Posted by obsidian on September 6, 2008, at 15:20:21
In reply to Re: it's hard for me....(sorry this got long) » obsidian, posted by Sigismund on September 4, 2008, at 22:50:09
>> I could give you lessons in slackness.
excellent sig
I think it will take me years to learn the art
I can actually be quite lazy and irresponsible, though I am afraid I go to some extremes
I certainly do
today my friend I will sit on the couch and listen to the "tropical storm"? outside my window
I will be napping soon
Posted by obsidian on September 6, 2008, at 15:21:23
In reply to Re: self care, what is it?, posted by lemonaide on September 5, 2008, at 0:01:29
yes, he is right
I wish he wasn't
Posted by obsidian on September 6, 2008, at 15:30:10
In reply to Re: self care, what is it?, posted by JayMac on September 4, 2008, at 1:20:12
> I do different things at different times. I read. I play piano or guitar. I journal. Today I bought myself a new water bottle (it helps with my oral fixation, jk, well not really, lol).
I have an oral fixation. I drink lots and lots of water with ice and lemon in it in the morning on the way to work. I just can't tolerate coffee. I probably have to drink a bit more water because of the meds too. I have a water bottle too.
Today I bought a pad of black (very black) paper on which to draw.
I also bought a little pad of 20 6X6 inch pieces of nice thick paper.
I can play some guitar too. I studied some classical guitar, but I am afraid I am not very good, oh well.
I am reading this book off and on lately...
"Wish I could be there, notes from a phobic life"
it's pretty good so far
today, I'll take a nap :-)
Posted by obsidian on September 6, 2008, at 15:32:35
In reply to Re: self care, what is it?, posted by obsidian on September 6, 2008, at 15:30:10
Posted by obsidian on September 6, 2008, at 15:36:24
In reply to Say it again »Obsidian » Maria01, posted by Racer on September 4, 2008, at 9:52:06
I too enjoy star trek.
At one time it was a bit of an obsession.
I have a tribble in my office.
It makes a little funny noise when you squeeze it.
I throw it at my coworkers.
:-)
This is the end of the thread.
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