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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Muffled on November 29, 2007, at 23:17:11
Emotions come, emotions go.
I honestly didnt used to know that. I thot they came, and just kept comming over and over and getting bigger and bigger until I either S injure or do something nuts, or get high, or SOMEthing, to make it go away.
I used to think there was real evil inside, I could FEEL it...sigh...it was just my emotions....I didn't know.
As a teen, sometimes I'd lie in bed a night, so afraid, cuz I had this choking feeling in my throat, and I thot there was something wrong with my throat, and i wondered, if it closed right up, would I be able to get to my parents bedroom to tell them to call an ambulance? or would they find me lying dead in the hall cuz I couldn't get there, so now I know, guess what...yup, my throat felt that way cuz I was having sad emotion....but I didn't know.
I think mebbe when I was little I had too many emotions, and for a variety of reasons must have suppressed them. My T says I have emotions. I know I have emotions NOW, but I still sometimes get them mixed up.
I don't cry. I don't feel hurt bout any of my 'stuff'. Sometimes a blast of emotion hits me, but I make it go away fast somehow. I only recently allowed as one day I was having a hard time.....I guess I meant with my emotions....
I am afraid of emotions I think.
Right now, the way I am in this moment....I don't undertand emotions much, they don't hurt who I am right now.
I am very mixed up about emotions.
I feel like there is some HUGE thing I am completely not 'getting'.
I have learned SO MUCH the last few years of T.
There was SO MUCH I didn't know....
I still have so much to learn.
How is this emotions stuff for you guys???
How does it feel and stuff?
ANYTHING. I am confused so much here.
Thank you.
M
Posted by Phillipa on November 29, 2007, at 23:57:13
In reply to OK NEW one....EMOTIONS, posted by Muffled on November 29, 2007, at 23:17:11
Different way of looking at it. As when nursing had 6-8 patients and if one left the world the smile had to stay on my face for other patients and I swallowed the pain from the left the world patient. That was part of the job. You could actually feel it go down your throat to your stomach. Couldn't show emotion not allowed. Phillipa
Posted by Poet on November 30, 2007, at 9:16:30
In reply to OK NEW one....EMOTIONS, posted by Muffled on November 29, 2007, at 23:17:11
Hi Muffled,
I think I only feel negative emotions like anger and sadness. Physicially I feel them in my solar plexus, sometimes its like a lump, other times its a stabbing pain. I don't cry either.
I remember way back in the first session my T asked me what made me happy and I had no response. Maybe I'm missing the happy gene? Anyway, obviously you are not alone in this getting emotions thing. I'm right there with you.
Poet
Posted by lovelorn on November 30, 2007, at 9:53:41
In reply to OK NEW one....EMOTIONS, posted by Muffled on November 29, 2007, at 23:17:11
Yep. Emotions are the hardest things to deal with - maybe because you separate yourself so much from them in other parts of yourself it seems like you are missing a big thing. I think the goal of therapy is to help you get in touch with your emotions. They can be messy and confusing. I am still having difficulty with mine - it can seem like the head and emotion are always at odds and don't make sense one to the other, and so at a certain point you end up shutting them off or putting them away somewhere as you said. Thing is they are there and will come back and need to be dealt with. Hang in there. With more time and the help of you T, it will make more sense to you.
Posted by rskontos on November 30, 2007, at 10:13:35
In reply to Re: OK NEW one....EMOTIONS » Muffled, posted by lovelorn on November 30, 2007, at 9:53:41
Muffled,
mine come up bam! huge and out of no one and I think becuase I denied them for so long and dissociated instead. Now they have to come out. It is hard because I can't control them when they do and I lose it big. Not good around a 15 year old boy who doesn't have his together for long either....we are sometimes like the blind leading the blind. My T says this isn't good but how can I help it....
But yesterday and the day before for the first time in my life I felt some sense of hope like something good might be coming my way. I have never and I mean never thought this. I don't understand it and I am not sure where it came from. I had hoped to hold on to longer so I would remember that feeling so I might feel it again but so far today it is gone. But maybe just maybe I will feel it again. Maybe it came from a part of me deep inside that never got a chance to live, that is my hope so maybe I can nurture that. Wouldn't that be a good thing.
Emotions can be good and bad so I guess we should welcome them. But I know many of us spent a long time hiding them and running from them so we have to learn how to deal with them. I know I do. They can make me crash fast so I will let myself go numb to avoid them. But can we heal from not having them I don't think so.
I think it good you are having them. You are so great about putting it out there that I do think you will figure it out. YOu are one smart cookie muffled and you try so hard.... and you care so much I think you will get it. Take care and heart. I know that you probably have some great kids, irl, I would be they are so precious just like their mama. They really are lucky to have you.
rk
PS That is cuz you will find a way to make their world just right.
Posted by star008 on November 30, 2007, at 16:00:47
In reply to Re: OK NEW one....EMOTIONS, posted by rskontos on November 30, 2007, at 10:13:35
Muffled,
I don't have a handle on emotions either.. I can feel sad but I swallow that pretty quickly.. I get angry sometimes but get rid of that too..But this is what I know to be true>> as humans we have a whole wide range of emotions. To not feel emotions is to not be fully human..they are there for a reason.. If we cannot feel sadness, we can't feel joy either.. We can feel things the way we should be able to. someone once said something about being able to feel the depth of your sadness and the height of your joy..What the hell is joy???lol What I am saying is that we are blunted and should be able to feel all of our emotions.. We are so unused to emotions that we are scared of them and have no idea how to handle them..When we do feel something it gets so huge that it overwhlems us. "normal" well adjusted people know how to let go and feel what they are feeling and also know how not to get swallowed up and lost in it.. Somehow we missed that lesson.
Posted by rskontos on November 30, 2007, at 18:47:33
In reply to Re: OK NEW one....EMOTIONS, posted by star008 on November 30, 2007, at 16:00:47
So that is what normal is........I didn't know that sounds like a good description........thanks star
Posted by Muffled on December 1, 2007, at 14:52:04
In reply to Re: OK NEW one....EMOTIONS, posted by rskontos on November 30, 2007, at 18:47:33
Posted by muffled on December 3, 2007, at 13:45:36
In reply to Re: OK NEW one....EMOTIONS » Muffled, posted by Phillipa on November 29, 2007, at 23:57:13
> Different way of looking at it. As when nursing had 6-8 patients and if one left the world the smile had to stay on my face for other patients and I swallowed the pain from the left the world patient. That was part of the job. You could actually feel it go down your throat to your stomach. Couldn't show emotion not allowed. Phillipa
*That sounds hard :-( Phillipa.
They were lucky to have you.
Take care,
Muffled
Posted by muffled on December 3, 2007, at 13:50:54
In reply to Re: OK NEW one....EMOTIONS » Muffled, posted by Poet on November 30, 2007, at 9:16:30
> Hi Muffled,
*Hi Poet!!
> I think I only feel negative emotions like anger and sadness. Physicially I feel them in my solar plexus, sometimes its like a lump, other times its a stabbing pain. I don't cry either.*Ya, when I was in my late teens I took a course on recognizing emotions, and that was one of the main things was how it felt PHYSICALLY, and to try and learn to ID emotions from that...
> I remember way back in the first session my T asked me what made me happy and I had no response. Maybe I'm missing the happy gene? Anyway, obviously you are not alone in this getting emotions thing. I'm right there with you.*Have you found any happy yet Poet?
I know you being doing some real hard work in T.
I have happy. Happy is good. Sometimes I have joy. Its better than anything in the world.
I hope for joy for you sometime Poet. I hope sometime you can allow yourself joy.
I didn't used to, I thot feeling good meant that trouble would soon follow. I was afraid to feel good.
But its OK now.
You moving ahead in T, I bet you gonna learn lots and improve.
Take good care Poet.
M
Posted by muffled on December 3, 2007, at 13:52:07
In reply to Re: OK NEW one....EMOTIONS » Muffled, posted by lovelorn on November 30, 2007, at 9:53:41
> Yep. Emotions are the hardest things to deal with - maybe because you separate yourself so much from them in other parts of yourself it seems like you are missing a big thing. I think the goal of therapy is to help you get in touch with your emotions. They can be messy and confusing. I am still having difficulty with mine - it can seem like the head and emotion are always at odds and don't make sense one to the other, and so at a certain point you end up shutting them off or putting them away somewhere as you said. Thing is they are there and will come back and need to be dealt with. Hang in there. With more time and the help of you T, it will make more sense to you.
*Thanks for the support. Its good to hear these things!
:-)
M
Posted by muffled on December 3, 2007, at 13:59:44
In reply to Re: OK NEW one....EMOTIONS, posted by rskontos on November 30, 2007, at 10:13:35
> mine come up bam! huge and out of no one and I think becuase I denied them for so long and dissociated instead. Now they have to come out. It is hard because I can't control them when they do and I lose it big.
*Yeah, thats one of the hardest parts of T. Losing some old tried and true (but damaging and dysfunctional...) coping mechanisms... I cannot always dissociate now, even when I WANT to...
I still can keep emotions away though. TG for that.> But yesterday and the day before for the first time in my life I felt some sense of hope like something good might be coming my way. I have never and I mean never thought this. I don't understand it and I am not sure where it came from. I had hoped to hold on to longer so I would remember that feeling so I might feel it again but so far today it is gone. But maybe just maybe I will feel it again. Maybe it came from a part of me deep inside that never got a chance to live, that is my hope so maybe I can nurture that. Wouldn't that be a good thing.
*I think that feeling of hope was VERY VERY REAL RK. Hang onto it. I think its the light at the end of the tunnel you glimpsed. Its there, we can't always see it, but we gonna find our way outta the tunnel and into the light.
> Emotions can be good and bad so I guess we should welcome them. But I know many of us spent a long time hiding them and running from them so we have to learn how to deal with them. I know I do. They can make me crash fast so I will let myself go numb to avoid them. But can we heal from not having them I don't think so.*yeah, I reckon we goto deal w/the damn things...
My T says the same, there are BOTH good and bad emotions, and even bad emotions are important in that they are signals that something is wrong and needs to be dealt with...
> I think it good you are having them. You are so great about putting it out there that I do think you will figure it out. YOu are one smart cookie muffled and you try so hard.... and you care so much I think you will get it. Take care and heart. I know that you probably have some great kids, irl, I would be they are so precious just like their mama. They really are lucky to have you.*Thx RK. I think we all got smarts here in babbland, it just sure helps alot to have other babblers to help us along the way.
Thanks,
Muffled
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