Posted by rskontos on November 30, 2007, at 10:13:35
In reply to Re: OK NEW one....EMOTIONS » Muffled, posted by lovelorn on November 30, 2007, at 9:53:41
Muffled,
mine come up bam! huge and out of no one and I think becuase I denied them for so long and dissociated instead. Now they have to come out. It is hard because I can't control them when they do and I lose it big. Not good around a 15 year old boy who doesn't have his together for long either....we are sometimes like the blind leading the blind. My T says this isn't good but how can I help it....
But yesterday and the day before for the first time in my life I felt some sense of hope like something good might be coming my way. I have never and I mean never thought this. I don't understand it and I am not sure where it came from. I had hoped to hold on to longer so I would remember that feeling so I might feel it again but so far today it is gone. But maybe just maybe I will feel it again. Maybe it came from a part of me deep inside that never got a chance to live, that is my hope so maybe I can nurture that. Wouldn't that be a good thing.
Emotions can be good and bad so I guess we should welcome them. But I know many of us spent a long time hiding them and running from them so we have to learn how to deal with them. I know I do. They can make me crash fast so I will let myself go numb to avoid them. But can we heal from not having them I don't think so.
I think it good you are having them. You are so great about putting it out there that I do think you will figure it out. YOu are one smart cookie muffled and you try so hard.... and you care so much I think you will get it. Take care and heart. I know that you probably have some great kids, irl, I would be they are so precious just like their mama. They really are lucky to have you.
rk
PS That is cuz you will find a way to make their world just right.
poster:rskontos
thread:797752
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071120/msgs/797814.html