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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Scentedgarden on October 2, 2007, at 17:25:45
Has anyone ever fallen for their therapist in psychotherapy..? if so how diod you get throught it..?
Me ...? it hurts so bad i feel like i will die from it. help? and please dont give me one line (get over it) answers. Basically if you have never been there then you don't have a clue as to what it can be like for someone to ache and dream, and think and want a person that much that it is unbearable, yet it's just not something that can be turned off as with a TV, or light switch. If it is I dont know where the button is...!!! We are not programmed for therapy... we are human beings and emotions dont understand that they are not to be so involved with someone as their therapist... will it ever go away//?I was many years in therapy with her
i love her.
i cry.
i ache
it's awful and its killing me...
i sob
my GP can only do so much
i have no one now like i had her
she was there for me
but its finished now
there was no more time left because of contracts etc...
but we had a good run for our money..
I think of her at night with her man, and I ache with want to love her in my arms...
Its times like this i think id be better off with no emotions at all... PLease help me if you can. and if you cant then thanks for reading...this is just the most dreadful thing and i dont know how to stop the pain. even death wont bring relief as i believe the soul (where emotions are found) will remain - thats just IMO.
maybe taling will ehlp if anyone will contact me as i aint been around here for ages, and i have not always been the kindest of babblers myself.
and im not sure what anyone can say to help. maybe im just easing the pain somewhat by telling the whole dam world.!! ( I think when God made he he maybe gave me too many feelings.. not that i think God is wrong IMO, I am just babbling now. sob sob cry cry ache whail pain deep ...help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! please someone or some two or some three.. anyone who has really had this experience is who i need to talk to me.. NOT people who think they know what its like..... cos unless you been there baby (with respect) you aint no use to me right now. double friggfing negative ........aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!! im not really sure why im posing this as it isnt going to stop the....... p a i n..... sg
Posted by Scentedgarden on October 2, 2007, at 17:52:28
In reply to upset.. 2 the maxxxx possible pain/suicide trigger, posted by Scentedgarden on October 2, 2007, at 17:25:45
Is it possible that i have been digging a bigger hole for myself ...?
Thats not really my question, but i didnt know what else to ask..!! lol - seriously though I have been to an NHS therapist for 4 yrs and its been a hard struggle for me ever since i began to fall for her.( i am also a woman) please dont send me any lesbo smart remarks ..this isnt about sex.. this is desire, of the real sort. yes id like to make love to her body but only because i love her smile and her mind ,
eyes
mouth
face
hair
figure
brains
humour
lifestyle
everything, even the bad things i love because i love her.
Seriously i am in a world of pain. maybe we blew it; she and i, but it is what it is.. she knew how i felt, and she said its ok as long as i dont tell her the erotic details of my desire.. so i played the role of loving child to good mother.. and she was and is a loving mum to my inner child but the adult me is so in love with the adult in her.. This is nigh impossible to explain... the pain im in, the desire and ache to be both in her arms and have her in mine. To be her baby and her to my baby tonight.sorry if this makes any of you want to chuck up.. id not be surprised as i think nim about to go do just that..!!! -------sg
Q.what do you get if you're me and you fall in love..?? A. a huge big hole in your heart pocket, thats what you egt for all your love... ooh i hope i never fall in ,love again. the end
Posted by Scentedgarden on October 2, 2007, at 18:12:21
In reply to Is it possible ive been digging a bigger hole 4 me, posted by Scentedgarden on October 2, 2007, at 17:52:28
hi i am female and im in love with my female T.
my T seemed to like being with me as much as i with her... she knew how i felt but it was covered over in lots of ways...
If you have been in the same boat may i ask how did you get over it?????/
how did you survive...??
If you have been in my shoes are you now well.. is he/she out of your head..> how long did that take to get him/her out of your mind..??
i think about her all the time nearly, but like at night when im alon and going to bed its the worst...right now. and i dont think its only infatuation as i have seen her in her normal environment too, and she also shared lots of herself with me in indirect ways, not info on marriage or kids but sexual things etc... and its took me 2 yrs to fall in love with her..so that cannot be infatuation..!!
but i believe it can be a little part of it....but not sall of it. I love her! end of story, and thats my problem, even if i think its wrong or illogical, i must be stupid stupid to want her to love her when it is hurting me so much. i maybe should never care for another being again.. maybe its my destiny to ache forever.im dying !!!!! of pain and ache and hurt and thoughts of her with someone else i want to remove my brain and stop it thinking of her ever ever ever.... although thats not entirely true--beacuase there are many good things we have together too. too many to ever keep living in my soul and be totally free from her loving influence in the 4 yrs we have together... they cannot be erased.
( by the way its till stands i dont want advice from those of you who have not been there...) its maybe sweet but what the heck good can it do to put plasters over huge gaping bleeding wounds and longings of the human heart.. a ((cuddle)) and a oh it will be okay sg...just aint goinna cut it with me.)
so all you guys and gals out there who read these boards and never ever post... drop me a line if you're in tune with what the song in my life.. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE>> and my babblemail is open.
anyone else who reads this and cares but cant help.. I'd like to say HI, nice to see you again..! -
kindly sg
Posted by Dory on October 2, 2007, at 20:05:22
In reply to upset.. 2 the maxxxx possible pain/suicide trigger, posted by Scentedgarden on October 2, 2007, at 17:25:45
i wondered where you had gone.. had not seen you post and no email from you in a while.
i'm sorry it hurts so bad. i *do* know what it's like. i suffered for years like that... i think if i were to see him now it would start all over again. You're right, it's not about sex.. it's desire.
this past year i went through it again, with another T... not quite as bad, but it still hurts.
i don't know how to make it better.. i wish i did. i know the pain is really bad. All i did was just all i could do.. i just kept going and did whatever i could to not think about him. That isn't much use to you i know..
i am sorry... i truly am.
((((((((((((((SG))))))))))))))))))
Posted by muffled on October 2, 2007, at 22:43:34
In reply to Re: upset.. 2 the maxxxx possible pain/suicide tri » Scentedgarden, posted by Dory on October 2, 2007, at 20:05:22
Hey (((SG)))
Just wanted to say hi, nice to see you.
Sorry you still hurting so bad :-(
I have NO clue if this is useful, but theres this book "In session" and I dunno much bout it, but it does have lots bout T connections and love and stuff. And what you said bout wanting to be her child or whatever, there's stuff like that in that book.
I dunno if it would be helpful or not, or if it gives any reasonable answers? I started reading it but not finished it.
Are you no longer in T?
Any chance of getting a T to help you thru this grief?
Best wishes to you.
Muffled
Posted by scentedgarden on October 3, 2007, at 7:14:32
In reply to Re: upset.. 2 the maxxxx possible pain/suicide tri, posted by muffled on October 2, 2007, at 22:43:34
Thanks Muff and Dory.. your supporrt is heartening. yes i rad in session in July 2005. I gave it to heer a few months ago she wasnt impressed and gave me it back after a while, she didnt seem interested in knowing about that stuff in the 'in session' book.. i can understand that T's dont want to go there. its such a taboo subject... and rarely discussed especially in UK.
I wish I hadnt posted to be honest, as i know that no one can probably say anything to help me. but i was just clutching at straws last night. This is my pain and my ache and problem i have to deal with it, get over it...sg>
anyway i wont say anymore than i aldready have done, as thats already too much. I know people read these boards who dont often post, i have done so for many months prior to my first post and many since my last.. but i always dip in from time to time, just to see if there are any answers and to see how everyone is doing.
im sorry that ive been a bit of a bitch to some people, you know who you are... Its my fault for being so touchy and sensitive.. anyway i hope that if anyone want s to say Hi that they are free to do so... please ignore my rant about not contacting me unless u been through it.. i was just angry and hurting.. but anyone who wants to say hi would be a nice surprise..To Dory, I think you may have changed your posting name of late..?? Im not sure who you once were but you seem to know me so Hi.. to Muff 'hey mugff you're a swell woman' so kind and clever and intelligent and fun..! smiles to you all.
smile tho your heart is breaking' an old Nat king Cole number..To Dr. Bob>>.. yes i have a suggestion.... how about a spelling check facility on the message board .? that should clean up some of it.lol - as i know mine are atrocious with mistakes and im too upset to go cut and paste, spell chaeck then copy it abck to this board...!!!
so im sorry for my spelling, but thats my excuse.!! lol
please gives a spell check thingy??!!God bless everyone in pain and everyone who is healing.... its all good i suppose...
take care
Scented G
Posted by JoniS on October 3, 2007, at 17:58:39
In reply to May as well call it )'inlove with my therapist'( » muffled, posted by scentedgarden on October 3, 2007, at 7:14:32
SG
I could ramble and whine and give lotsa stuff about being in love with your T and hurting so badly. Matter of fact, there is gobs of it in the archives.
So I think I qualify to respond, but sorry I don't have the cure. My feelings for my T have been high intensity and lower intensity, but I have loved him since about the 4th session, 5 years ago. I have longed for a cure, but there isn't one. If journaling helps you, I recommend that. I don't do it regularly, but when I am lonely and missing him, it helps. It helps to know about others who have had similar experiences, if nothing else, just to see you are normal. The book that Muff mentioned did help me lots, to understand, and to go easier on myself, and to understand more about why things have to be the way they have to be. It's funny I thought i was "cured" a year or 2 ago and so I got rid of the book. Now I've gone to read it or parts but then I remember that I threw it away. Poo!
I have worked with this with my T a good abount of sessions over the years, so he knows all about it. There has not been anything off limits for me to say. That has been helpful. I guess, for me, I believe that part of what I feel for him is due to the transference - I idealize him, believe that because he is ___ and he is___ he must also be this and this and this (everything that is so wonderful in a person) and then I want to spend the rest of my life with him. BUT I also believe that part of this is real and based on what I do know about him. My T reminds me that the feelings that I have are to be expected because of the bond we share. but that doesn't make it any easier. I have gone from feeling guilty for how I feel to being more accepting of how I feel and just enjoying the awesome feeling of being in love.(my T helped me to do that) It has made me spend lots of time trying to figure out if I should divorce and hope to find that feeling with someone who wants to return the love. Right now I'm trying to enjoy him and my H, if I can.
If I had to stop therapy as you did, I would be beside myself. I would definitely have to go see a T to get over my T!
Maybe you can spend some time in the fantasy, and not take it to the point where she is now gone from your life. That might help you to gradually accept and be ok with the loss. But, it is a loss, you are grieving, and it hurts like H*LL.
Sorry this is so long, and I doubt if it helped, but I wish you peace and healing as you are going through this.
Take care,
Joni
Posted by JoniS on October 4, 2007, at 9:29:13
In reply to Re: May as well call it )'inlove with my therapist'( » scentedgarden, posted by JoniS on October 3, 2007, at 17:58:39
Stupid me - offering advice on how to handle the grief of loss of T as I sit here crying and hurting. Oh how things can change in a day. When you get some helpful solutions, will you pass them on to me? My T isn't gone yest and I'm almost despondent learning yesterday that I'll be without him for so long. :`(````
Posted by Scentedgarden on October 4, 2007, at 13:50:17
In reply to what the H*** do I know??!!!, posted by JoniS on October 4, 2007, at 9:29:13
awe, donty be so down and hard on you Jonis.. its going to be okay.. now dry your eyes and take a deep breath, you can make it. You will see hime again, and maybe absence will amke BOTH hearts feel warmer.. I DO KNOW HOW HORRIBLY PAINFUL IT IS.. please maybe you could watch a funny movie..? at least to give you a rest from the pain for an hour or so.
takes care if you can of you, bathe, eat, drink a wine, and sleep.. Or bash someone.(whoops i mean pillows ..lol) thats gotta make you feel at least a little less pain. Works for me when i have the strength... if i havent cried it all away.. bash bash.. hugs and more bashing hugs from me sg
Posted by rskontos on October 7, 2007, at 15:31:11
In reply to Re: what the H*** do I know??!!! » JoniS, posted by Scentedgarden on October 4, 2007, at 13:50:17
Joni and Scentedgarden, I feel for you both because no matter pain is pain. You both feel how you feel and it hurts. I hope somehow you heal or at least it gets easier. For me, I can try to understand because due to my illness I haven't bonded with My T, I do trust her at least for now, I only issue trust in stages but that is a beginning so to know that you both went so far to love them well that is the ultimate trust and that I rarely do so as far as I am concerned you both brave. Because it is supposed to be better to love etcetc etc. I don't want to undermine you I want to just say that I think you guys are braver than me because you truster your T so much more and bonded to them to that point. So please don't be hard on yourselves. It will be ok it will just take time. I just wanted to try and be there for you both to say you are not alone there are people that care and do understand...warm hugs....
Posted by JoniS on October 8, 2007, at 8:04:40
In reply to Re: what the H*** do I know??!!!, posted by rskontos on October 7, 2007, at 15:31:11
This is the end of the thread.
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