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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by LadyBug on August 28, 2006, at 15:03:09
I think I'm outta here for a bit.
I'm going through a very hard time right now and I want to withdraw from everyone and everything in my life. I want to tell my T that I don't want to see her either. She won't agree and I let her intimidate me. She makes me feel like taking a break isn't a good idea. I can live without therapy, although I'd miss her terribly. She is a strong point in my life right now. I'm sitting on the fence right now, and I don't know which way to fall off. Either way is going to hurt.
I'm withdrawing from here, my friends, my parents, my religious leader, and obviously my husband. He's the reason of all my struggles right now. My kids are my world, I will never withdraw from them. I hate my life. I hate life in general. It sucks, it always has been hard for me and I don't just mean hard, I mean unfair. I guess I've made bad choices so I suffer. But some of why I suffer is because of other people's choices. (My husband.)
I want to call and talk to my T but I agreed not to call her. I can't leave work to go see her, plus I can't afford it right now, I've already seen her a few extra times this month.
See ya'll when I feel like coming back. Who knows when, a week, a year, a life time?
I care about all of you here. I wish you all could figure out all the things that you struggle with in therapy or why you are in therapy in the first place.
Hugs to everyone. Thanks for all your support. I love babble, it's been so good for me. I just don't have anything to give for now.
LadyBug
Posted by happyflower on August 28, 2006, at 15:33:47
In reply to Taking a Break, posted by LadyBug on August 28, 2006, at 15:03:09
Hi Ladybug,
Please don't leave, I will miss you too much. But that is my own selfish reasons, but I understand you have to do what is best for you. In fact I could have written your exact same post last week,(maybe I did already). I want to run and hide too so I don't know if I can be much help here.
It just sucks how a bad marriage or husband can just suck the life right out of you. That what I say to my T about my DH. He just sucks out all the joy I have. My head is spinning on something meaningful to say, but I have been so zoned out lately from stress. I want to be here for you like you have been there for me. Please take care of yourself. I hope you change your mind. ((((( Ladybug))))))
Posted by Dinah on August 28, 2006, at 16:42:01
In reply to Taking a Break, posted by LadyBug on August 28, 2006, at 15:03:09
I understand taking babblebreaks. But don't feel you need to take one because you have nothing to give. It sounds as if you could use all the support you can get in the difficult situation you are in, and as paradoxical as it might sound, it is a gift to others to give them a chance to help you to the extent they can. I realize activity and posting have not been all that active lately, and reponse might have been light here. But speaking for myself, that has more to do with my own depletion than it has to do with you.
If taking a break is what you really need right now for your personal health, then certainly you must do what you need to. But if it's a way of withdrawing from those who care, or if you feel you don't deserve to be here because you can't give enough, please think it over a couple of times.
Posted by muffled on August 28, 2006, at 22:41:53
In reply to Re: Taking a Break, posted by Dinah on August 28, 2006, at 16:42:01
I'm with Dinah on this.
And HF.
We'll miss you.
Come back and just say hi anytime would be nice.
Don't retreat too far.
Its good your recognizing it.
Why did you agree not to call T?
I could see cut down, but not completely.
Esp. at this difficult time.
I do hope you continue to see her.
Even if you guys just sit and say nothing.
Take care,
Muffled
Posted by LadyBug on August 28, 2006, at 23:38:41
In reply to Taking a Break, posted by LadyBug on August 28, 2006, at 15:03:09
A few of you asked me why I don't want to call my T. We've had a hard time lately and decided to work on three things one of them my dependance on her. I didn't think I was that dependant on her lately but she must think she replaces something in my life that I should be getting from other people. So I decided that my own boundary would be to show her that I don't need her inbetween sessions. It's not really anything she told me to do. She became annoyed with me a few weeks ago and in one of our sessions she told me she didn't think she had the capacity to work on something in particular. It's a long story, one that I'm not in the mood to type out right now.
When I am hurting, which I am right now, I withdraw from everyone. That is the child in me saying "If I stay away from everyone, no one can hurt me."This is why I am withdrawing and it has nothing to do with anyone here. It's just something I need to work through. I am hurting right now. I haven't talked to my husband for a week. Try living in the same house and avoid someone like that. I truely hate his guts! That's why I'm hurting. I am making a plan. Don't know how it will go, but at least my wheels are in motion. I want to get my debt paid off, it's less than a thousand dollars. Maybe stop going to therapy, save that money and between the two, maybe I can find a place to move to. I want out of this place. We don't own our home, thanks to my husband and his poor choices. I'm tired of suffering the consequences of his choices.
You guys are so understanding and helpful. I don't know if I *can* stay away. To the world, I pretend that everything is fine. Inside, I'm a mess. I do appreciate your help and support. I've learned so much from babble, stuff that you guys go through that I understand. I love my therapist, she is good to me in the ways that she can be. I will talk to her about this and tell her that this isn't a good time for me to work on being independant. I know she'll be fine with it.
Hugs to you my babble friends~~~
LadyBug
Posted by Jost on August 29, 2006, at 4:30:58
In reply to Re: Taking a Break, posted by LadyBug on August 28, 2006, at 23:38:41
Maybe if your T can't work with you on something, it's a sign that she's not the one for you.
Maybe you need a new T, a better husband, and a house of your own. Dependence isn't a bad thing-- if you're depending on the right person.
Those are huge goals, not to be accomplished, or often even contemplated, until it's gotten to be too much. People don't change those things, until they've become very hard to accept.
I'm sorry if that's what's happened. But there's also hope, because you want more, and you know that you're isolating because you're hurt.
Maybe it's important to stay here, and not isolate here, It can be a beginning, a place where you get a little stronger.
Jost
Posted by Dinah on August 29, 2006, at 6:05:39
In reply to Re: Taking a Break, posted by LadyBug on August 28, 2006, at 23:38:41
I know you've had a long and close relationship with this therapist. I think it's best to discuss your self imposed decision with her.
One thing I've learned over the years is that it's better to talk to my therapist before I do something to please him, because what I think will please him and what will actually please him aren't always the same. And what I think he means by what he says and what he really means by what he says aren't always the same. I've found it's best to do a lot of reflective listening on both sides to come to a good understanding.
Posted by ElaineM on August 29, 2006, at 8:32:02
In reply to Taking a Break, posted by LadyBug on August 28, 2006, at 15:03:09
LadyBug, I'm sorry you feel like withdrawing. I will miss hearing what's going on with you, and even miss your screen name :-) I guess I was confused cause in your post where you talked about the things you need to work on, I thought that you were supposed to find a way to mesh with your T, in a better way -- I seen to be mistaken. But if you ever have the energy to write your story about the thing that she cannot work on with you, we'll be listening. I'm sorta glad that your T won't let you withdraw from her too during such a hard time. Sorry, I hope that doesn't sound offensive, but you did say that she's a strong point in your life, and that you'd miss her alot. If you can't sit on top of the fence anymore, maybe she can help you land on your feet, or at least pick the softer side ;-)
I want to hug you when you're hurting so -- the same way you support me, and others. I don't want you alone. But it's your choice, and I can understand needing some breathing space sometimes. But I'd hope you won't leave just because you don't think you're offering enough. We'll (I'll) be waiting for your return.
(((((((LadyBug))))))))
EL
Posted by LadyBug on August 29, 2006, at 11:19:21
In reply to Taking a Break, posted by LadyBug on August 28, 2006, at 15:03:09
I think I've got so much going on in my head that nothing is coming out right. I do have some "splainin" to do here.
And I will when I have more time and I'm not at work.
Thanks so much. I will get through this madness in my life!!! If I had more money and no husband most my problems would be solved.
My T is wonderful, she really is. I've been seeing her for 9 1/2 years.
LadyBug
Posted by Poet on August 29, 2006, at 13:15:02
In reply to Re: Taking a Break, posted by LadyBug on August 29, 2006, at 11:19:21
Hi Ladybug,
'Splain it when you can. I know the I just want to withdraw from the world feeling. I've wanted to be independent of everyone and everything since I was 18. Thirty years later I still fight dependence on anyone else, whether it be emotional or financial.
Poet
This is the end of the thread.
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