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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Mme All Talk on July 11, 2006, at 17:16:04
I am struggling so much right now, as my T is on vacation. Its more than that though, I dont know what to do with myself. I cry myself to sleep at night, i am so distraught and alone. I read books to keep busy during the times that i would be seeing her, and also when i wouldnt be with her just to keep my mind occupied. I dont want to talk to people, i have no interest. I make plans for the weekends just to say i have plans but then i rush through them and get into bed and start crying or reading some more. I am so lost, so crazed, so sick from having this break in my treatment, and i have until the end of the month so i have a long time still. I dont know what i will do, i dont see how i will survive this, even if i have so many times before, this is just a living hell and i feel completely alone in it.
Posted by ElaineM on July 11, 2006, at 20:31:21
In reply to Wish T were here..., posted by Mme All Talk on July 11, 2006, at 17:16:04
>>> I am struggling so much right now, as my T is on vacation. Its more than that though, I dont know what to do with myself. I cry myself to sleep at night, i am so distraught and alone.
Boy, do I know what you mean about not knowing how to fill a day. I think it really helps not to be alone when you're feeling so down. I find that solitude makes time move backwards. When I've felt terrible I used to just walk outside, or the mall, to remember that I wasn't the only person in the world. Plus, I'd never cry in public. When I cry at home I tend to never be able to stop. Are you able to get out anywhere during the week? You don't even need to talk to anyone if you don't feel like it.
>>>I read books to keep busy during the times that i would be seeing her, and also when i wouldnt be with her just to keep my mind occupied.I used to write to my old T during the appointments she had to cancel. Once before she left on vacation, she gave me a pen and journal and asked if I would write to her while she was away. And then I gave the book back to her when she returned, and we talked about everything I'd said for a ton of sessions after that. Would you ever try something like that? This part is so embarassing, but sometimes, during the time I should've been meeting her, I'd watch movies with T's in them. (holy cow, that's so pathetic) But it sort of helped create an atmosphere that reminded me of her.
>>>>I am so lost, so crazed, so sick from having this break in my treatment, and i have until the end of the month so i have a long time still. I dont know what i will do, i dont see how i will survive this, even if i have so many times before, this is just a living hell and i feel completely alone in it.
I know it's not the same thing, but you're definately not alone in the type of feelings you're having. I wish I knew something moving to say. Your T sounds like she must be pretty great. Do you normally see her weekly? Do you two usually talk about how vacations are when she gets back? How did that go last year?
I'm glad you're posting here. Keep updating about how you're coping. Let me know if you find a good way -- my T is going away around the time yours comes back.
((((Mme))))
Elaine
Posted by Daisym on July 12, 2006, at 1:12:31
In reply to Re: Wish T were here..., posted by ElaineM on July 11, 2006, at 20:31:21
Isolating is probably not the best thing to do. If you are with other people, at least the time will go quicker. I like Elaine's suggesting of keeping a journal, a month is a long time.
Do you work? Maybe a new project would help.
You might also need a medication adjustment, do you have a pdoc you can talk to? You said this year is harder than last year, so I wonder if something is different in this area.
Make sure you eat right, get some fresh air every day and do something nice for yourself. Your therapist would not want you to let yourself deteriorate because of her. Consider it a gift to her. I'm sure she would appreciate it.
Posted by rubenstein on July 12, 2006, at 10:16:10
In reply to Wish T were here..., posted by Mme All Talk on July 11, 2006, at 17:16:04
Thinking of you
Maybe you could build a bear at one of those cool stores or over the internet and name it after your T. Then you could hug it when you miss her/him...sorry I forogt...just an idea
rachel
Posted by Mme All Talk on July 12, 2006, at 18:29:05
In reply to Wish T were here..., posted by Mme All Talk on July 11, 2006, at 17:16:04
Thank you for those who responded. i am still in a state of total despair, not that anyone would think differently after just one day. i am miserable, really depressed and sick of going through the motions of the day when inside i just want to collapse and cry and see my t already, which i wont until the 31st. I feel so desparate, so out of control. I just want nothing to do with anything or anyone. I wish i could hide away for the month and not come out until my t returned, which wouldnt even work because if i didnt have people who depended on seeing me i cant imagine i would live to see the end of the month. I am definitely getting myself more depressed, which my t wouldnt want, and i really dont know how on earth to deter it. My Pdoc is available to me, but i dont even know what to say to her anymore, she thinks this should be so routine, as i have been seeing my t for 15 years now, that i should be used to dealing with breaks, so she doesnt get that i am as crazed as i am. Or she knows i am as crazed as i am but doesnt attribute it to this, she thinks something else is going on that i am not telling her. Dont ask... Whatever the case, I am doing horribly, I dont know what to do with myself and feel completely alone, I am not eating, not sleeping well, I'm crying hours each day, I'm just a mess! Is there no hope for me? It feels that way.
Posted by Dinah on July 12, 2006, at 19:09:22
In reply to Re: Wish T were here..., posted by Mme All Talk on July 12, 2006, at 18:29:05
Why don't you tell us about your therapist? I find when I'm really missing someone it helps to share fun stories about them. Even when Daddy died, I found it helped to talk about fun things we did together.
I'm glad your separation isn't that permanent, but maybe it would help just the same.
You've got four years on me. I have been seeing my therapist for eleven years. It started out as short term CBT for obsessive compulsive disorder. I always say I tricked him into long term therapy under false pretenses. :) He thought sixteen sessions would wrap it up. Some CBT, some SSRI and I'd be out the door.
How did you first come to see your therapist?
Posted by Jost on July 12, 2006, at 23:07:54
In reply to Re: Wish T were here... » Mme All Talk, posted by Dinah on July 12, 2006, at 19:09:22
That's a good idea of Dinah's.
I'd like very much to hear how you started seeing your T, how she seemed at the beginning, -- and times that you especially remember.
I'd like to get to know you more, too.
How about telling us more about yourself?
I know we can't make the time melt away-- but maybe we can make a little of it easier.
Jost
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