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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by muffled on June 12, 2006, at 22:14:26
I am so tired of my T being nice all the time.
She don't push me. She won't push me.
I don't think she likes to rock the boat.
Well screw that life is full of sh*t.
She's not gonna be easy to get a reaction out of.
Mebbe I'll be burning my bridges.
Too bad.
Mebbe time for a new T.
If old one isn't tough enough.
Just don't wanto hurt her cuz she nice-Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
See?
HELP!
Muffled
Posted by muffled on June 12, 2006, at 22:55:53
In reply to Ok so whos gonna egg me on?????HELP, posted by muffled on June 12, 2006, at 22:14:26
So here it is t.
Stop BEING NICE YOU DUMB BITCH.
Ha, stick that in your pipe and smoke it.
Life isn't nice all the time.
Lifes a bitch and then you die.
Therapy should model life more.
Be real in that way.
Then clients can learn to deal with the interpersonal SH*T that always comes up in this stupid world.
In a supposedly safe environment.
Ha, you nice, but the world is SO F*CKED.
I am f*cked.
So tell me to f*ck off already.
There.
Posted by wishingstar on June 12, 2006, at 23:34:00
In reply to How bout this?, posted by muffled on June 12, 2006, at 22:55:53
Oh muffled, I could have written that exact post myself! My greatest frustration over time with my T has been that she wont push me, even if I ask her to. Every week for probably 3 months I asked her to, but she stood her ground. I considered finding a new T too.
My T always uses the analogy of a diving board or the edge of the pool.. she says that she'll sit on the edge with me, but she isnt going to push me in, because she doesnt believe that doing so would be the best way to learn. It used to make me so mad when she said that.. but I think I get it now. I dont know about you, but when I was a kid, no one ever supported me and what I wanted to do. It was always sink or swim. So it was frustrating when my T wouldnt "play the game" too... but then it hit me that really, she is being really caring, and taking care of me, just not in the way I expected to find it. Your T pushing you too hard, even if it is how life can be sometimes, wouldnt be very nice and wouldnt help to keep the space safe for you.
I dont know if you can relate to that even a tiny bit... it's just what I discovered for myself. Maybe it'd be worth it to have a discussion with your T about that very topic - why wont she push you? There may be a very good reason that you'll be satisfied to hear. Hang in there. I'm sorry youre feeling so frustrated.
Posted by muffled on June 12, 2006, at 23:41:46
In reply to Re: How bout this? » muffled, posted by wishingstar on June 12, 2006, at 23:34:00
Thankyou WS.
I sort of get it.
But I not scared of my T no more.
I think if someone cares, REALLY cares, then they care enough to give you sh*t once in awhile.
Nicey, nicey, is too SLOW.
I learn the most when I mad and things get out in the open that way.
Nicey, nicey, just bogs me down and surrounds me in muffling cotton.
I goto BREAK OUT of my own sh*t b4 it kills me.
My kids need their Ma.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Would it be wrong to give her my post bout her being a B and all?
Muffled
Posted by muffled on June 13, 2006, at 0:33:38
In reply to Re: How bout this? » muffled, posted by wishingstar on June 12, 2006, at 23:34:00
Faxed it.
Too late.
Posted by Tamar on June 13, 2006, at 4:05:52
In reply to Ah sh*t., posted by muffled on June 13, 2006, at 0:33:38
> Faxed it.
> Too late.I think that's a good thing.
Maybe you need to know that even if she's nice she can still handle your anger and rage.
Maybe you need to know that you can be yourself in therapy and you won't break the relationship.
I hope you get a good response from her.
Posted by scentedgarden on June 13, 2006, at 6:09:13
In reply to Re: Ah sh*t. » muffled, posted by Tamar on June 13, 2006, at 4:05:52
Hi again... I just wanted to say, I know how you feel about not wanting to hurt her feelings.... I felt the same, and mine told me I wasn't to worry about her feelings being hurt, and that we were there to help me, and so I think if your T is any good she will be trained in how to handle al sorts of feelings from clients...the nice and the not so nice...if you get my drift...
so take a chill pill and just get out of that as you call it sh*t of yours and break free....you're free to be and say what you feel you must if not anywhere else then especially in therapy...thats what theyre paid for!! ( in a way)
And like you say yourer kids need you!!! so dont die in your own feelings let it rip...whats the worst that can happen!! You may feel better... anyway I know you already sent the fax...so she will have got it most likely by now...
I know from my T that she laughs and likes it alot when I tell her some of the negative stuff... I think she has a good sense of humour... and like once Isasid I have to watch you dont turn me into a complete bore... and she laughed ....
...like you quite rightly say everything feels more real and genuine after a good clear out of the emotional box... the air is all the better for it...lets know how you get on...Im keen to hear, as i think you are very funny and nice person - i like the sound of you and hope you dont mind me being so myself on here...sorry if i step over the line...I hope i havent but if i have i hope you will not be upset with anything ive said..as you know im new here and dont know the boundaries yet... Lots of like from scented garden
Posted by ClearSkies on June 13, 2006, at 8:10:00
In reply to Ah sh*t., posted by muffled on June 13, 2006, at 0:33:38
> Faxed it.
> Too late.It's her job, Muffled. I think by not pushing she is trying to get you to do the work and get through your anger. My T is good at knowing when I'm impatient and ready for a fight (yes, me!) but when it happens, she doesn't address it directly. She doesn't want me leaving our appointment all stirred up and perhaps a danger to myself or others (I'm thinking of how I drive when I'm mad. Stupid, slow, lost drivers all around me. Get outta my way already!). So she keeps me safe. The anger gets worked on in spite of me wanting to tackle it head on and her doing her little dance around it. Taking my anger and wanting her to put it back on me is not always the best approach; for me, anyways.
Take care, Muffled.
ClearSkies
Posted by muffled on June 13, 2006, at 9:52:10
In reply to Re: Ah sh*t. » muffled, posted by Tamar on June 13, 2006, at 4:05:52
Gotta run and get kids ready and off to school.
Hmmmmmm.
Then I go at 10:30.
Thanks guys.
I'm sure it'll go fine.
She's ALWAYS nice.
Gaaaaack!
Toughie is disarmed by her, so the only other alternative is nasty. I don't willingly let nasty out.
Nuther boring session no doubt.
What is with me?
I just wimp out when I get there.
Well,
I let ya's know.
Muffly
Posted by wishingstar on June 13, 2006, at 9:57:30
In reply to Re: Ah sh*t., posted by muffled on June 13, 2006, at 9:52:10
Im glad you decided to send it to her... ClearSkies is right, she can take it.
If your appt was at 10:30, I guess youre probably there right now. How did it go?
Posted by happyflower on June 13, 2006, at 20:22:11
In reply to Re: Ah sh*t. » muffled, posted by wishingstar on June 13, 2006, at 9:57:30
(((((((Muffy)))))
Posted by muffled on June 13, 2006, at 20:45:52
In reply to How did it go? I hope you are okay, posted by happyflower on June 13, 2006, at 20:22:11
So OK my T DIDn"t get mad. I'm still fuzzed out.
Didn't think she would. But then in a very T like fashion, she wanted to know WHY more than anything.
And she said it was me being manipulative. Trying to make her mad.
So its like I am trying to drive her away cuz I scared of people getting too close.
And its my kid too, trying to get what she needs.
If my T rejects me, then she rejects the kid and that means the kid is unlovable. This is what goes on in my head I think.
And I keep doing this. Over and over.
She gave me homework to work on. And then I'll be more clear on it. Mebbe I'll get some ideas from you guys if I am making ANY kind of sense?
She wanted to give me a hug, and says 'or is that too weird for you?' LOL. Ya it was. So she kinda gave me a sideways squeeze thing.
I honestly JUST DON'T GET IT ???????????? Why does she persist w/me? Why don't she tell me to f*ck off????
It just doesn't make sense. Its beyond my understanding.
I'm still just VERY tired and my brain is mush.
I told her I cross checked an unknown number on my cell and now I know where she lives cuz it turns out she had called me from home. So she says if I ever show up on her doorstep she'd call the cops!!! But there's reasons behind that so it was more funny than anything. She got kids too, so I understand. But mostly she was fine w/that.
At one point she got water in her eyes. I dunno why. Guess I'll ask. I proly hurt her feelings or something.
I'm still all mixed up.
Everybody wants me on seroquel :-(
Didn't think I was doing so bad.
She went after some of my incorrect assuptions I say meanly to myself.
I was there a LONG time.
She WAS tougher despite herself I think.
She was very straightforward too which was good.
She admitted she was annoyed! So mebbe she DOES care?
I need to think on this cuz its all a jumble.
Thx for your guys' support.
I gotta think on this awhile....
Muffled
Posted by Dinah on June 14, 2006, at 9:50:01
In reply to Re: How did it go? I hope you are okay, posted by muffled on June 13, 2006, at 20:45:52
> She admitted she was annoyed! So mebbe she DOES care?
Geez, my therapist must care about me as much as I care about him then.
I think...
It's very hard for them to change who they are. My therapist has flat out told me sometimes that he can't give me what I'm asking for because that's not who he is and he can't change who he is.
And they do get annoyed from time to time (which is sort of natural isn't it?). Don't forget we get annoyed with them too.
But that doesn't mean they don't care.
This is the end of the thread.
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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