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Re: How did it go? I hope you are okay

Posted by muffled on June 13, 2006, at 20:45:52

In reply to How did it go? I hope you are okay, posted by happyflower on June 13, 2006, at 20:22:11

So OK my T DIDn"t get mad. I'm still fuzzed out.
Didn't think she would. But then in a very T like fashion, she wanted to know WHY more than anything.
And she said it was me being manipulative. Trying to make her mad.
So its like I am trying to drive her away cuz I scared of people getting too close.
And its my kid too, trying to get what she needs.
If my T rejects me, then she rejects the kid and that means the kid is unlovable. This is what goes on in my head I think.
And I keep doing this. Over and over.
She gave me homework to work on. And then I'll be more clear on it. Mebbe I'll get some ideas from you guys if I am making ANY kind of sense?
She wanted to give me a hug, and says 'or is that too weird for you?' LOL. Ya it was. So she kinda gave me a sideways squeeze thing.
I honestly JUST DON'T GET IT ???????????? Why does she persist w/me? Why don't she tell me to f*ck off????
It just doesn't make sense. Its beyond my understanding.
I'm still just VERY tired and my brain is mush.
I told her I cross checked an unknown number on my cell and now I know where she lives cuz it turns out she had called me from home. So she says if I ever show up on her doorstep she'd call the cops!!! But there's reasons behind that so it was more funny than anything. She got kids too, so I understand. But mostly she was fine w/that.
At one point she got water in her eyes. I dunno why. Guess I'll ask. I proly hurt her feelings or something.
I'm still all mixed up.
Everybody wants me on seroquel :-(
Didn't think I was doing so bad.
She went after some of my incorrect assuptions I say meanly to myself.
I was there a LONG time.
She WAS tougher despite herself I think.
She was very straightforward too which was good.
She admitted she was annoyed! So mebbe she DOES care?
I need to think on this cuz its all a jumble.
Thx for your guys' support.
I gotta think on this awhile....
Muffled

 

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