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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by toomuchpain on March 25, 2004, at 14:13:02
In reply to Re: My X T Called Me ..., posted by pegasus on March 25, 2004, at 14:04:43
well i know this not my fault .. and i so badly want to contiune throughwith this greivence ... but if he calls again i could just be through with this .. the greivence is on my new t too ... the only thing i am hoping for from this is a very good explantion and a Im Sorry fromboth my new and Ex t ... that is all i want .. and another thing is i just dont want them to do this to anyone else ... It has messed my life up and i wouldnt want anyone else to have to do what ia m doing right now
Posted by EmmyS on March 25, 2004, at 14:22:51
In reply to My X T Called Me ..., posted by toomuchpain on March 25, 2004, at 12:47:15
Your behavior didn't get him in hot water. It was HIS behavior that was the problem. I don't think he didn't do anything he'd lose his license over. He may just need to limit his practice to males, or older females until he gains enough experience to handle himself better.
He NEEDS the assistance that this board action will give him. He should have gotten it from his his supervisor. If he had an honest relationship with his supervisor, and with himself, it all could have been settled there. But somehow, it wasn't.
And when he saw your name on his list of new clients at the second agency, he should have stopped dead in his tracks and told the program director not to assign you. He didn't. That was unethical. He needs to either GET HELP, or change careers. It's up to him.
You are helping him! Really truly helping him. He hasn't been able to help himself. You are doing a good thing for him - he just doesn't understand that yet.
And that phone call....it's a violation of everything he was taught in school. I'd report that to the agency asap. He worries me. That behavior is irrational.
(In my not-always-so-humble opinion!)
Emmy
Posted by pinkeye on March 25, 2004, at 14:40:58
In reply to Re: My X T Called Me ... » toomuchpain, posted by EmmyS on March 25, 2004, at 14:22:51
Toomuchpain,
Would you care to explain what happened with your Ex T? I know that you were attracted to him and stopped seeing him in December from your posts and that you were assigned to him again from a different agency.. but what else happened?
Pinkeye.
Posted by Joslynn on March 25, 2004, at 15:07:32
In reply to Re: My X T Called Me ..., posted by pinkeye on March 25, 2004, at 14:40:58
Pink, my recall is that HE dumped HER, but I will let TooMuch speak for herself.
TooMuch, Here is what I would do if I were you:
Take the text of the post you made describing the recent phone call. Put it in an MS Word document or whatever with date, time and what he said.
Then, if he calls again, don't pick up the phone. Do you have an answering machine with an old-fashioned tape? If so, tape the call, type what he says into your document, and bring the tape with you to the hearing. Or, if it's just electronic, type up his exact words.
His phone call was manipulative and unprofessional. But in a weird way, it's good, because it can give the hearing committee info they need. He may not get fired, he may actually become a better therapist because of this.
It's not your job to take care of his feelings and well-being. That was supposed to be his job. He dropped the ball.
Actually, if I were you, I would search for all your posts on here and use it to construct a timeline of the events. I don't mean that you have to post the name of this board and all that, just use your posts as sort of an online journal to help you remember key facts, and cut and paste when necessary.
Just my .02.
Please go thru with the hearing. You can do it, you are brave! And at least it's coming up soon so you don't have to agonize for too long.
Posted by pinkeye on March 25, 2004, at 15:26:04
In reply to Re: My X T Called Me ..., posted by Joslynn on March 25, 2004, at 15:07:32
Thanks Joslynn.. Toomuchpain, why did he dump you? Just for saying that you were attracted to him?
Posted by toomuchpain on March 25, 2004, at 15:45:34
In reply to Re: My X T Called Me ..., posted by pinkeye on March 25, 2004, at 15:26:04
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031202/msgs/288575.html
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031213/msgs/289932.html
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040110/msgs/300664.html
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040116/msgs/302436.html
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040123/msgs/304839.html
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040206/msgs/311654.html
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040211/msgs/312647.html
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040211/msgs/314356.html
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040225/msgs/318877.html
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040303/msgs/320771.html
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040313/msgs/325532.html
here are all my links to explain the situion ... hope this helps some
Posted by gardenergirl on March 25, 2004, at 15:56:49
In reply to My X T Called Me ..., posted by toomuchpain on March 25, 2004, at 12:47:15
How awful for you. I agree with the others about documenting events so you don't forget and going through with the hearing. Please keep in mind that the board will be interested in hearing from you and helping you get what you need, but any action they decide to take with him and/or the new T will be up to them. It will not be your fault or your doing. You are simply reporting the facts.
And I agree with Emmy, that you are helping him by doing what is within your rights to do. He needs to learn what is and is not acceptable if he is going to succeed.
(((toomuchpain)))
gg
Posted by Dinah on March 25, 2004, at 18:24:15
In reply to My X T Called Me ..., posted by toomuchpain on March 25, 2004, at 12:47:15
The phone call is a red flag to me. He doesn't want you to get *him* in trouble? I think he needs a refresher on what therapy is.
Don't worry about your part in it. If he's done nothing wrong he's got nothing to worry about. I just hope you end up with a decent new therapist out of this.
Posted by fallsfall on March 25, 2004, at 18:52:45
In reply to My X T Called Me ..., posted by toomuchpain on March 25, 2004, at 12:47:15
I'll add my vote for you to go through with the grievance. Both of your therapists need to know that what they have done is unacceptable. You really can save other people from the pain that you've been put through.
Posted by Fallen4myT on March 25, 2004, at 19:02:13
In reply to My X T Called Me ..., posted by toomuchpain on March 25, 2004, at 12:47:15
I wish you had taped the simpleton and taken that call to the board PLEASE go and do this he is running scared and is way out of line..So sorry for you
> well i got woken up by a phone call from my X T this morning around 930am ...
>
> he wanted to know why i am trying to hurt him .. that he never meant for any of this to happen ... that he wants me to stop with what i am doing so he dont get in to trouble... i cryed adn i told him i was sorry !! WHAT THE H*** was i thinking ??? am i dumb ??
>
> so now i am having second thoughts about all this ...
Posted by Fallen4myT on March 25, 2004, at 19:06:11
In reply to Re: My X T Called Me ... » toomuchpain, posted by Dinah on March 25, 2004, at 18:24:15
Posted by toomuchpain on March 25, 2004, at 23:26:18
In reply to Re: My X T Called Me ... » toomuchpain, posted by Fallen4myT on March 25, 2004, at 19:02:13
well i have been very busy i have been talking to people at the the place where i attended therpy at .. about this meeting and they told me that basically there will be like 7-13 people there to evaulte the situion ..
the dierestor told me they will determine if he has croossed boundry's and what action should be taken if he has ... he also so said the same thing u guys said about documenting the phone calls and everything else ... if they detrmine there has been rules broken they will take futher action against him .. plus they are going to evaulate my mental state from when how i was before to now ... i belive that my mental state is bad and i do blame him (X therapist) for that...
i have thought about everything .. and i am going to contiune on with this process .. i know it will be better for me in the long run so, i dont go on and blame myself. i also thought about you guys here on babble and others out there that r in therpy right now i woulndt want them to go through this !!!!!!!
i will keep u updated on phone calls and things concerning this ...
I ALSO WANTED TO THANK EVERYONE THAT HAS RESPONDED TO ME AND THIS THERAD ... EVERYONE HAS BEEN A GREAT SUPPOST AND VERY UNDERSTANDING !! IT REALLLY DOES FEEL LIKE A LIL FAMILY ON HERE AND THAT IS SO WHAT I NEED RIGHT NOW !!!!!! THANK YOU EVERYONE I LOVE U GUYS !!!!
IF ANYONE WOULD LIEK TO CONTACT ME MY EMAIL ADDY IS BLAZINCHICKA07@CS.COM
Posted by terrics on March 26, 2004, at 15:41:27
In reply to Re: a new beginning YEA RIGHT!! » terrics, posted by toomuchpain on March 25, 2004, at 0:00:03
Yes I would like to hear your situation if you want to share. terrics
Posted by toomuchpain on March 28, 2004, at 9:32:52
In reply to Re: a new beginning YEA RIGHT!! » toomuchpain, posted by terrics on March 26, 2004, at 15:41:27
the link to my preoius post are on here the 1st one on there explains my situion and ytheother ones are what has happened since then and in between feel fee to ask me any ?s
Posted by terrics on March 28, 2004, at 11:57:28
In reply to Re: a new beginning YEA RIGHT!! » terrics, posted by toomuchpain on March 28, 2004, at 9:32:52
Oh, I understand some. The awful part about getting the same T. is scary. Does he think you tried to find him?
You must feel sick. Do you have a pdoc who might be able to help you temporarily? terrics
Posted by toomuchpain on March 28, 2004, at 12:11:42
In reply to Re: a new beginning YEA RIGHT!! » toomuchpain, posted by terrics on March 28, 2004, at 11:57:28
i dont really know what he thnks exceot that i am tryin to hurt him ... ruin his carrear .. which i am not .. i am only trying to settle things so i can move on with my life .. i dont want him to do this to another person ...
Posted by EmmyS on March 28, 2004, at 12:22:05
In reply to Re: a new beginning YEA RIGHT!!, posted by toomuchpain on March 28, 2004, at 12:11:42
TMP - You are a hero for all therapy patients! You got stomped on, and you are standing up, brushing yourself off, and taking care that no one else goes through this. You are a wonderful woman! Blessings, and chocolate, and rose petals on you!
Emmy
Posted by gardenergirl on March 28, 2004, at 14:05:05
In reply to Re: a new beginning YEA RIGHT!! » toomuchpain, posted by EmmyS on March 28, 2004, at 12:22:05
Posted by pegasus on March 28, 2004, at 23:00:13
In reply to a new beginning YEA RIGHT!!, posted by toomuchpain on March 24, 2004, at 9:43:06
Posted by toomuchpain on March 29, 2004, at 14:19:38
In reply to Thinking of U and sending good wishes for Monday (nm), posted by pegasus on March 28, 2004, at 23:00:13
well it is 315pm eastren st time and i have just came home from my meeting ....
i had to speak in front of sevreal ppl and exlain the emotatinal state i was in and that i am in .. they evaulted me and my ex t .... he had to stand there and explain everything he did and reasons behind his actions ...
i had too sit in a waiting romm while the board memebrs discussed what was right and what was wrong and if ther were any crossing bouondrys .. that lasted for like a hour and half ... my ex t went to eat with a co worker that was there with him the whole .. he asked me to grab a bite to eat i told him no !!!!
when they came to there conclsion they came back to the room with papers and tape recoder and they said that there were boundrys crossed and that my former t had no reasonable explanition for anything he has done to me .. that it was all out of my hands that he should have been more professioal and he let too much of his personal feelings into my therpy and my discharge ... as of my t now .. i will no longer be seeing her and they are giving me a new t somone who dont know what has happen to me or dont know my former t that i just went through all this with ..
My former t has been suspened fromt he job intill futher notice and i was told that i will be notified when he does return and i was told that i should have no contact with him at all .. if he would comtact me to contact the board asap and report for they can futher actions ....
now that all of the meetings are over... and i can move on from this ... i guess it really stinks that it ook me all this pain and agnoy to prove to myself and others that therapist can affect u more then anyone can know and that this when u r been volited by someone .. u need to speak up and i also found out that he alot of things that went on in my therpy were not what they were supposed to be ...
so now that all this is over where do i go ??
how do i trust ??
how do i forgive myself for doing this to him ?
does the pain sunside when closure actually happens?
does my ex t hate me because of this ??
will i ever be me again?
questions that are running around in this head of mine .....
Posted by Joslynn on March 29, 2004, at 15:01:06
In reply to it is done, posted by toomuchpain on March 29, 2004, at 14:19:38
WOW. You are my new hero. And kudos to the board for doing the right thing.
Please remember, you did not hurt your therapist, he hurt both you and himself with his actions. Of course, you will probably have all kinds of mixed feelings and maybe even tiny little regrets sneaking in there. Would it help to remember that an entire board of professionals thought his behavior was harmful too? If you doubt yourself in certain moments, just remember that his peers thought he did the wrong thing too. (And we here on this board agreed, and of course we are the ultimate authority, LOL.)
Wow. Justice was done.
Now, to congratulate yourself, can you do something nice for you? Is there nice spring weather in your state? Maybe you can sit outside, have some ice cream or buy yourself flowers to celebrate your bravery. Or take a long, cleansing nap.
Posted by Fallen4myT on March 29, 2004, at 15:13:33
In reply to it is done, posted by toomuchpain on March 29, 2004, at 14:19:38
Awesome...you did the right thing and it sounds so hard. HE DID THIS TO HIMSELF AND YOU so there is nothing to forgive. YOU had a board of his peers agree he is the one at fault. You will trust again..in time with the right T....but I am guessing it will be TIME ..Do what the board sez if he calls report it...and see the new T....STILL I feel soooo sorry for you cause of how hard this all is
hugs
Posted by lonelygirl on March 29, 2004, at 15:15:13
In reply to it is done, posted by toomuchpain on March 29, 2004, at 14:19:38
Good job for standing up for yourself. It is definitely too bad that it had to turn out this way, but you know, the board heard both sides of the story and sided with you... As for your questions, I hope you recognize that the board realizes that what happened to you was wrong, and they are doing what they can to make things right for you. It is not easy or fun for them to take disciplinary actions, so they surely did not take this lightly. It is good to know that you can trust them to do the right thing. He is the one who did something wrong, so you don't need to feel guilty about it. You needed to go this so you could get a new therapist, and maybe you even saved someone else from having to go through what you did. A lot of people (myself included) probably wouldn't have had the guts to stand up for themselves. I hope your new therapist will be good and help you work through this.
Posted by terrics on March 29, 2004, at 15:30:54
In reply to it is done, posted by toomuchpain on March 29, 2004, at 14:19:38
At this point I would not be worrying about your future. If it were me I would give myself some time and space and also congratulate myself. You have had enough suffering and anxiety for awhile. Hopefully this will be your new start. terrics
Posted by pegasus on March 29, 2004, at 16:21:32
In reply to it is done, posted by toomuchpain on March 29, 2004, at 14:19:38
(Hmmm, that subject line comes out sounding a bit weird, doesn't it.)
But I am totally impressed with you! My favorite part of your story for today is that now you get a new therapist who doesn't even know your old T. Whew! That was about the hardest way to get a new T that I've ever heard of. I hope you really love your new T, and can work through all of this with him/her.
I agree that this is an excellent time to do something nice for yourself. You've been through a lot - and a lot more than you should have had to go through. I can understand some of the things you're thinking about today. I can imagine thinking those same things in your place. But on the other hand, it's not your fault that it all turned so difficult. You've been very poorly served by these people, and you deserve a whole lot better!
Big hug for getting through and your amazing courage ((((toomuchpain))))
- p
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