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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by crushedout on February 18, 2004, at 9:09:22
Both today and yesterday I've felt beat up by my therapist. I think we may be doing something important but this is not what I need right now. I need support, love, an ally. And she's challenging me, arguing with me, accusing me of blaming her (and my parents) for my problems, etc. etc. It's so rough. Why can't she see that I just need her to be gentle with me? It's not because I haven't tried telling her, because I have.Is this my stuff or hers? I don't know. It's so hard to know. All I know is I can't function and I want to be able to function. I feel like quitting therapy, but then she would say I was doing it to punish her, and I'm not sure I could completely deny that. But I'd also be doing it in an attempt to save myself. I can't handle this right now. She's not around to pick up the pieces after she beats me up.
Posted by Dinah on February 18, 2004, at 10:35:31
In reply to another rough therapy session, posted by crushedout on February 18, 2004, at 9:09:22
My therapist likes to challenge me sometimes. But I'm usually able to talk about it when I think he's going too fast.
Do you think she's trying a bit too hard to get the therapy back on task?
Posted by crushedout on February 18, 2004, at 10:58:25
In reply to Re: another rough therapy session » crushedout, posted by Dinah on February 18, 2004, at 10:35:31
No, I don't think that's it. I think she may be mad at me for needing her. But I'm really not sure. She's put me in a bind because she accused me today of giving her the responsibility for how I'm feeling and not taking any of it, so now if I ask her why she's being so rough on me, she's going to accuse me of that again. You see what I mean? She's painted me into a corner. I'm so confused.
Posted by Dinah on February 18, 2004, at 11:59:35
In reply to Re: another rough therapy session » Dinah, posted by crushedout on February 18, 2004, at 10:58:25
I know it's tough, and you might even want to back off for a while to regroup. But in the end, you're going to have to talk to her, or therapy is effectively over. Sometimes it feels like my therapist and I battle our way to relationship. Misunderandings, errors in judgement, anger and disappointment. We talk through all of them in order to stay in connection.
It might be time for an expectations talk.
Posted by tabitha on February 18, 2004, at 16:01:56
In reply to Re: another rough therapy session » crushedout, posted by Dinah on February 18, 2004, at 11:59:35
I'm peeking in here.. I'm sorry crushed. I get that same frustration. Therapy is supposed to make you feel better right? What the heck do you do when the session itself is the source of so much upset. My eyes are swollen like golfballs from crying about my last session.
I'm reading with interest Dinah's notion.. battling to stay connected? Maybe that's the key. But once my T told me that creating conflict in order to engage people is not a good strategy. I'm confused too. It feels like too much pain for any relationship to be worth it. Being alone seems better.
Posted by terrics on February 18, 2004, at 17:23:22
In reply to Re: another rough therapy session, posted by tabitha on February 18, 2004, at 16:01:56
I am beginning to wonder about therapy being useful. Alot of us come home worse than when we went. I was in a good mood all day, then I had therapy. I love my T. She will take a call anytime, she has never been mean or argumentative, but therapy itself makes me think of only sad and bad things. I too came home upset today. Also, my attachment to her is painful in itself. She knows I love her. We rarely talk about that. Well, what I am getting at is I think I would be better off without her. terrics
Posted by crushedout on February 18, 2004, at 17:38:58
In reply to Re: another rough therapy session, posted by terrics on February 18, 2004, at 17:23:22
I don't know. There are times when I feel really good after therapy, although you're right, it's usually hard because you bump up against the limits of the relationship and then feel that longing for what you're missing so acutely.But when things are good, I sometimes feel energized by it.
I think my T is really screwing up with me right now. I'm going to have to confront her tomorrow, and I'm scared. I'm scared she will twist everything around and make me feel like it's all me being crazy. I'm scared she will get mad and defensive and hurt me emotionally. I'm scared I may need to find a new T. But I think I'm ready to do that if necessary. It might be the best thing for me.
> I am beginning to wonder about therapy being useful. Alot of us come home worse than when we went. I was in a good mood all day, then I had therapy. I love my T. She will take a call anytime, she has never been mean or argumentative, but therapy itself makes me think of only sad and bad things. I too came home upset today. Also, my attachment to her is painful in itself. She knows I love her. We rarely talk about that. Well, what I am getting at is I think I would be better off without her. terrics
Posted by terrics on February 18, 2004, at 20:13:20
In reply to Re: another rough therapy session » terrics, posted by crushedout on February 18, 2004, at 17:38:58
You said something I found very insightful...the thing about bumping up against the limits of the relationship. Maybe that is why I am often depressed when I get home. I also think that I might do better with someone whom I would not become so attached to or perhaps better yet with no T. at all. I could leave things to my pdoc. She is ICE LADY,but she's good with meds. Let me know how you make out. Your insight is helpful. Sure hope things work out for you and that you are at least feeling a little better. terrics
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