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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by your#1fan on March 13, 2008, at 0:22:23
I just realized that my world of how im living is an illusion, all i ever thought of myself, its not.....going in reality. I dont live the life i want to live in my head.
Im actually now realizing how much of a low-life i have. My mind is now realizing all the years of masks and fakeness that i put up because i thought it was a guard. It's coming down, like the berlin wall.
I just can't Belive this, i have many people inside me, but i dont know which one is real. But i dont have multiple personalites. It just, i dont know, what do you do when you know your reality is fake? what do you do when realizing your whole world is just a mixture of thoughts, and you not connected with people good.
I never have had good relationships that could last, because the amount of people inside myhead are in 100's, i've looked at many images of powerful men, women, and put them in my head. Only to realize that they in my head.
And really i just found out, the real me inside....is still a kid. What happened during 2005 i dont know,
my whole reality is about to break, because i do think im not real, i think im fake. Somebody, that know's anything about this help!
am i going through a realization or a psychosis?
Im sorry i dont know where to put this because people know me pretty good on psychobabble, not the other boards...
what ever admistrater....point me to a correct board.
Posted by your#1fan on March 13, 2008, at 0:36:30
In reply to Just realized something about reality., posted by your#1fan on March 13, 2008, at 0:22:23
listen, im going to go to sleep tonight and i know that i will be the same person.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=A7rWClaNYDE&feature=related
I am trying my best to make sense, but my mind is going in and out....i am going for an appointment tommorow with my therpist...because i just had a identity disaster.
If this doesnt concern you, dont waste your time. Because i realized the world has 6 billion people in it.
Loggin out...
your#1fan
Posted by gardenergirl on March 13, 2008, at 0:50:50
In reply to Re: im scared, posted by your#1fan on March 13, 2008, at 0:36:30
Sleep well, fan. I hope your appointment goes well.
gg
Posted by yxibow on March 13, 2008, at 5:29:41
In reply to Just realized something about reality., posted by your#1fan on March 13, 2008, at 0:22:23
> I just realized that my world of how im living is an illusion, all i ever thought of myself, its not.....going in reality. I dont live the life i want to live in my head.
This rings very true to me -- one comes to a realization that life doesn't always turn out the way you wanted it to be. Its not an illusion -- one could be simply wanting to be living in a past place, its safer, or when one was more confident, or a dozen possible reasons. But there's the Here and Now, the complete reality out there.
We all have our own little realities, the way we carry out our lives, the things we think about, but there is the practicality of either trying to live a life (like for myself, I still wish I was back in the city I went to for college and none of what I experienced would have happened -- true or not, since there's no time machine that I know of, I have to live in the Here and Now.)
This isn't the hallmark of a psychosis or being psychotic in particular, because I believe you would be having a rather distinctly different conversation. Its wistfullness, depression, and mostly yearning for a life that may go beyond your limitations at the moment. Therapy is excellent, at least in my case -- I may be reading my sense of things into this a bit too, so don't take everything with but a grain of salt -- for such a state. Proactive, goal-oriented approaches that may include a lot of things, boosting self confidence, strength, finding out what is your real definition, what really defines you, beyond an illness, CBT if it applies, etc.
> Im actually now realizing how much of a low-life i have. My mind is now realizing all the years of masks and fakeness that i put up because i thought it was a guard. It's coming down, like the berlin wall.Yes, at the moment I sense a downward spiral, and its okay to mourn and feel this, but not to eventually get so trapped in this sense that one wants to give up on life. I don't know anything about you but I can sense the depression and self-flagellation, there may be many things you want to discuss with a therapist, but just self-diagnosing is counterproductive and can cause more hurt than good. What is the benefit of self-flagellation -- letting tears out and emotion, that's a different thing.
> I just can't Belive this, i have many people inside me, but i dont know which one is real. But i dont have multiple personalites. It just, i dont know, what do you do when you know your reality is fake? what do you do when realizing your whole world is just a mixture of thoughts, and you not connected with people good.You reconnect with people. The best way is to find any source of social contact. Its hard at first to find this -- but through a number of places, NAMI meetings if that pleases you, any hobbies or pastimes and clubs that have meetings and mixers, even religious outlets, not for sake of "healing thyself" or the like, but for the social nature of it -- that is, if one is religious.
And in time, if one is interested in not further isolating oneself, a host of online dating groups depending on your sexual orientation. Its important to identify yourself as who you are (insert name, positive personal qualities) and not as (the mentally ill person with 7 different problems). That doesn't go forward.
> I never have had good relationships that could last, because the amount of people inside myhead are in 100's, i've looked at many images of powerful men, women, and put them in my head. Only to realize that they in my head.I could be wrong, but its the syndrome of "my head is full." And that really is the case -- so many thoughts crammed over time that one has to extract oneself slowly -- too fast and anxiety just implodes.
Its comparison "powerful.." to others, because somewhere inside lies your own power to succeed in doing something positive in life. It requires finding a purpose, something that takes a while. Not the cosmic purpose, but listing your positive strengths and what your knowledge in life stands best and going with that until something else comes along, either through school or work changes, etc.
> And really i just found out, the real me inside....is still a kid. What happened during 2005 i dont know,
It could be the inner resistance -- a protection, unintentional and definitely not malingering. A place to retreat to block out the pain that surrounds oneself now.
> my whole reality is about to break, because i do think im not real, i think im fake. Somebody, that know's anything about this help!
>
> am i going through a realization or a psychosis?I can't be your psychiatrist, because it wouldn't be fair, and as is said take what is said with a grain of sand. However, it doesn't sound like any major psychosis to me -- I believe it sounds like you are just realizing things -- the first steps to actually going forward.
Psychological testing is a real asset if you can afford it and/or your insurance will pay for it. Its something that your therapist can gain insight into -- there's enough built into testing that even if one thinks that filling in the bubbles is just rote, there are multiple redudancies. And usually interviews with interns as well.
> Im sorry i dont know where to put this because people know me pretty good on psychobabble, not the other boards...
> what ever admistrater....point me to a correct board.
It doesn't sound like a psychosis -- and I didn't mean to be a diagnoser, that you absolutely had peter pan complex or not (btw that is a popsych term, not any DSM or psychologist's true diagnosis -- its just a shortened, laymans way of describing it).
It is my hope you can find the care you need to feel like a stronger person; isolation is the surest way as I know from my own life, to retreat.
Best wishes-- Jay
Posted by dukeme on March 13, 2008, at 9:59:13
In reply to Just realized something about reality., posted by your#1fan on March 13, 2008, at 0:22:23
> I just realized that my world of how im living is an illusion, all i ever thought of myself, its not.....going in reality. I dont live the life i want to live in my head.
>
> Im actually now realizing how much of a low-life i have. My mind is now realizing all the years of masks and fakeness that i put up because i thought it was a guard. It's coming down, like the berlin wall.
>
> I just can't Belive this, i have many people inside me, but i dont know which one is real. But i dont have multiple personalites. It just, i dont know, what do you do when you know your reality is fake? what do you do when realizing your whole world is just a mixture of thoughts, and you not connected with people good.
>
> I never have had good relationships that could last, because the amount of people inside myhead are in 100's, i've looked at many images of powerful men, women, and put them in my head. Only to realize that they in my head.
>
> And really i just found out, the real me inside....is still a kid. What happened during 2005 i dont know,
>
> my whole reality is about to break, because i do think im not real, i think im fake. Somebody, that know's anything about this help!
>
> am i going through a realization or a psychosis?
>
> Im sorry i dont know where to put this because people know me pretty good on psychobabble, not the other boards...
> what ever admistrater....point me to a correct board.
>
>
> Wow, just scrolling dn at read this post. bless your heart. reality is not always a pretty picture and living under a false pretense hurts.
it creates confusion, insecurity and lack of self esteem. surrounding yourself w/positive people and avoiding the negative will help. do you know any? good luck.
Posted by Phillipa on March 13, 2008, at 12:52:07
In reply to Re: Just realized something about reality., posted by dukeme on March 13, 2008, at 9:59:13
Fan good luck today fill us in okay? Love Phillipa
Posted by your#1fan on March 14, 2008, at 12:48:39
In reply to Re: im scared » your#1fan, posted by gardenergirl on March 13, 2008, at 0:50:50
I talked with my therpist, she said i do have some symptoms of anxiety, dissocitation, and some aspects of borderline personality. I didnt belive that.
We talked for a long time, i definetnly dont have other ego's because she has delbt with many, even cured muliple personality disorder's. But she was very quiet about it, only told me just what she' deltt with in the past years.
So, im sorry it took my so long to get back, alot of stuff, well i just, feel im going to have a panic attack sometimes because i cant deal with reality. But i never show people this, anyone family, friends, etc. Otherwise they would just consider me the one that "has problems" so, ill leave it at that....ha!
ok........so i do have a little bit more to say. But its reguarding medciation.
Yxibow i will respond to your post as soon as possible. Your post was long and im going to sit down and try to anaylze it.
Thanks to everyone
your#1fan
Posted by your#1fan on March 14, 2008, at 13:26:16
In reply to Re: Just realized something about reality. » your#1fan, posted by yxibow on March 13, 2008, at 5:29:41
*******This rings very true to me -- one comes to a realization that life doesn't always turn out the way you wanted it to be. Its not an illusion -- one could be simply wanting to be living in a past place, its safer, or when one was more confident, or a dozen possible reasons. But there's the Here and Now, the complete reality out there.
We all have our own little realities, the way we carry out our lives, the things we think about, but there is the practicality of either trying to live a life (like for myself, I still wish I was back in the city I went to for college and none of what I experienced would have happened -- true or not, since there's no time machine that I know of, I have to live in the Here and Now.)
This isn't the hallmark of a psychosis or being psychotic in particular, because I believe you would be having a rather distinctly different conversation. Its wistfullness, depression, and mostly yearning for a life that may go beyond your limitations at the moment. Therapy is excellent, at least in my case -- I may be reading my sense of things into this a bit too, so don't take everything with but a grain of salt -- for such a state. Proactive, goal-oriented approaches that may include a lot of things, boosting self confidence, strength, finding out what is your real definition, what really defines you, beyond an illness, CBT if it applies, etc.*********
--In 2005, 2004 i began taken on persona's of myself because before that, i had no idenity exept that i was a teen going to school, was a big annoiying to people, and i didnt have an i idenity. What happened was at the end of high school i built up some walls, or images in my head of people to deal with offender or people who attack. I never went psychotic doing this. But that makes me think....
_________________________________________________
*******Yes, at the moment I sense a downward spiral, and its okay to mourn and feel this, but not to eventually get so trapped in this sense that one wants to give up on life. I don't know anything about you but I can sense the depression and self-flagellation, there may be many things you want to discuss with a therapist, but just self-diagnosing is counterproductive and can cause more hurt than good. What is the benefit of self-flagellation -- letting tears out and emotion, that's a different thing.*********It is coming down, the images inside my head, because i told my theprest all about everything, persona's, power people i adopted, and then she said "We out grow our coping mechanisms sometimes, and i have had similar things in the past" So thats whats happening, im out growning my reality. I need to get in "life reality" and live it, istead of thinking of it.
_________________________________________________
*******And in time, if one is interested in not further isolating oneself, a host of online dating groups depending on your sexual orientation. Its important to identify yourself as who you are (insert name, positive personal qualities) and not as (the mentally ill person with 7 different problems). That doesn't go forward.--Connceting with people has always been a problenms with me, im either scared, stay in my comfort zone, im going to slow, i need to leap forward into what a normal life is. Not some "projected" dazed life. Getting to know people, getting to know there ways, getting them to know me (many people already know me and think im just a nervous wreck)
_________________________________________________
*************It could be the inner resistance -- a protection, unintentional and definitely not malingering. A place to retreat to block out the pain that surrounds oneself now.-- I always had a inner protection mechanism. Since like 2004. I do enjoy to get away from reality alot, going in my own world, maybe a nap, something like that, but fact of the matter. Life, its main normal things is
1)Work (40 hours or more)
2)Working with People
3)Planning
4)Feeling good about life. Not wanting to dread life (as i do at times)
5)Having a stable control over what you do.Thats my thought of what a normal life is.
Whew!
Alright thanks, i had read your posts over and over, but it may help with understanding what people are trying to say......
always.
your#1fan
Posted by yxibow on March 19, 2008, at 3:18:45
In reply to Re: yxibow, posted by your#1fan on March 14, 2008, at 13:26:16
> -- I always had a inner protection mechanism. Since like 2004. I do enjoy to get away from reality alot, going in my own world, maybe a nap, something like that, but fact of the matter. Life, its main normal things is
>
> 1)Work (40 hours or more)
> 2)Working with People
> 3)Planning
> 4)Feeling good about life. Not wanting to dread life (as i do at times)
> 5)Having a stable control over what you do.That's a wonderful list (you don't always have to work more than 40 hours :). Being and working with people, excellent. And mainly planning and seeing progress -- that's something that I have been amiss with lately is making a variety of planning and schedule lists for things I need to do to get forward, things I need to do every day, etc.
> Thats my thought of what a normal life is.
>
> Whew!
>
> Alright thanks, i had read your posts over and over, but it may help with understanding what people are trying to say......
>
> always.
>
> your#1fan
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
This is the end of the thread.
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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