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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by football on March 24, 2007, at 23:25:17
It was only 4 years or so ago! I was so happy and so optimistic about the future.
Man, I would easily give 20 years of my life to somehow feel like that again.
But it's looking more and more like an impossibility.**** this disorder! Why did you have to ruin my life?
Posted by stargazer on March 24, 2007, at 23:53:32
In reply to I was just thinking of my life before depression., posted by football on March 24, 2007, at 23:25:17
Let's see, life before depression...was that 1972 or 1973, it was in high school since my sister died in '72. Although even earlier than that I had weird perceptions of things, feelings of
introversion, sensitivity.And with each episode of depression, the depression becomes stronger and more resilient to treatment, so now it justs takes over my life whenever the hell it needs a place to stay. I have to find a way to make it less hospitable here so that it won't set up shop quite as often.
Figuring out how to do that is the challenge. It has to be more than medications to keep it from returning as that has never kept it in remission.
I'll have to work on that some more.SG
Posted by UgottaHaveHope on March 25, 2007, at 8:58:24
In reply to I was just thinking of my life before depression., posted by football on March 24, 2007, at 23:25:17
Football, are you still taking the Nardil? If so, how are you feeling? Still have the side effects or have they gone away? Hoping and praying it will kick for you anyday.
If all else fails, there is always Ultram.
Posted by Phillipa on March 25, 2007, at 10:45:23
In reply to Re: I was just thinking of my life before depressi » football, posted by UgottaHaveHope on March 25, 2007, at 8:58:24
Football are you on nardil? Didn't know. Love Phillipa
Posted by football on March 25, 2007, at 13:08:07
In reply to Re: I was just thinking of my life before depressi » football, posted by UgottaHaveHope on March 25, 2007, at 8:58:24
Yep, and I know I haven't given it enough time yet, but I'm just the ultimate pessimist.
Posted by deniseuk190466 on March 25, 2007, at 13:16:28
In reply to Re: I was just thinking of my life before depressi » football, posted by UgottaHaveHope on March 25, 2007, at 8:58:24
Hi,
But isn't Ultram addictive, in that tolerance develops quickly and you need more and more of it to get the same result?
Denise
Posted by Sandra62 on March 25, 2007, at 15:48:40
In reply to To U Gotta Have Hope, posted by deniseuk190466 on March 25, 2007, at 13:16:28
I too have been scouring my memories for the times when I felt 'well'. They are few and far between and it's very depressing (pun intended). I wish for you and us all relief from the effects of mental illness.
Posted by UGottaHaveHope on March 26, 2007, at 1:04:51
In reply to Re: To U Gotta Have Hope, posted by Sandra62 on March 25, 2007, at 15:48:40
For all the hopeless out there, please read this post a few weeks ago from Blueberry. It's one of the greatest ever on this board. Think outside the box, folks!
Note: I take a MAOI, and adding Ultram would probably be very bad. Seek advice from your medical professional ... or ask Blueberry
+ + + + + + + + + + + + +
FROM BLUEBERRY1
> To answer your questions and share my thoughts with all here...
>
> Tramadol is about 75% relief of depression, fear, and anxiety parts of the day, and 100% relief at random times of the day. Anxiety...I used to sit in the break room at work, silent and in fear. Now I sit comfortably and actually talk with people. The following is a list of things I could previously not do, but I do now with even a tad of enthusiasm...cooking, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, working, taking care of family members, being in conversations with people, smiling sometimes, watching TV, playing guitar, stuff like that.
>
> What made me try it was comments from others at remedyfind.com, askapatient.com, and here. So many people (mileage does vary) said they had tried everything, and that nothing compared remotely to tramadol. Side effects first day were insomnia. Second day the opposite, somnolence. Third day and continuing, delayed orgasm and that's it. No other side effects. Sex drive seems a bit stronger.
>
> Unlike everything else, it did not make me worse right away. It kicked in on day 3. I am not taking any other drugs with it. Just 25mg once a day. Also take a spoonful of cod liver oil and a multivitamin. I want a new vitamin without copper because I have read that copper is one of the most toxic unrecognized common nutrients involved with psychiatric disorders. Almost all have copper. Geez.
>
> After piss-poor care from 5 psychiatrists, 2 GPS, and a specialty nurse practioner, I gave up on them. After thousands of dollars and 10 years I had no progress to show, and actually significant deterioration instead. Tramadol was my own decision and pretty much a last resort. Since all norepinephrine drugs make me much much worse, I expected bad things. I was surprised.
>
> Tramadol's opioid action is in question because opioid blockers do not completely block it. Plus, I feel no euphoria, buzz, or rush at all. I also wonder about it's snri action, because ssris and snris take weeks to work, but tramadol works in hours or days instead.
>
> Tolerance and dependence are issues. But this whole board deals with those issues with every drug known to man. To hopefully keep those risks at bay I'm reading what longtime users have done. Some stay with the same constant dose year after year with no probs. Some take a day or two off each week.
>
> Prozac, lexapro, depakote, lithium, zoloft, cymbalta, zyprexa, seroquel, st johns wort, xanax, klonopin, lorazepam, adrafinil, provigil, ritalin, adderall, amisulpride, tianeptine, milnacipran, and I know I forgot a handful of them...oh yeah, ECT also...none even come close to comparing to tramadol. Matter of fact, they all made me worse real fast. Tram is the standalone one that did not.
>
> I must give credit where it is truly due. It does not belong to tramadol, a doctor, or me. It belongs 100% to God of the Bible. This probably should be on the spiritual board. Spiritual warfare is very real, very powerful, and constantly in motion. One prayer in the morning is like shooting a rifle once in the morning during a war and that's it for the day. God wants me, us, to surrender to Him completely and lay it all at His feet. He wants to show us His glory and power. But we have to submit our total weakness, obey, and whole-heartedly welcome His Holy Spirit to dwell with us in every moment. Constant prayer is more help than any drug.
>
Posted by UGottaHaveHope on March 26, 2007, at 1:09:53
In reply to I was just thinking of my life before depression., posted by football on March 24, 2007, at 23:25:17
I feel you, football. I think about that topic, too. Why? For me, I will say until I had anxiety and depression, I did not believe it existed and would've laughed in your face if you tried to convince me otherwise. It has made me more compassionate.
It has also helped me spiritually. I thought I was in control. And when you have issues like depression and anxiety that are out of your total control, then it makes you re-examine EVERYTHING.
And finally. hopefully you will get better, therefore God can use you to encourage and guide others who fall.
Posted by Ines on March 26, 2007, at 12:49:36
In reply to The purpose of it all » football, posted by UGottaHaveHope on March 26, 2007, at 1:09:53
I almost envy you reading these posts... I have been depressed for so long I cannot think about life before depression. It just seems like it's always been like this, with better and worse times, but I never remember enjoying life, or thinking I would like to be born again if I had the choice- not since I was 10 or so anyway. So I guess you are at least lucky in that you know what you're striving for... I worry terribly that this is it, it's just me and I'll live the rest of my life like this. Depressing thought, ha? ;-)
Posted by deniseuk190466 on March 27, 2007, at 15:56:11
In reply to I was just thinking of my life before depression., posted by football on March 24, 2007, at 23:25:17
Me too, I'd happily give up the rest of my life for one year of the pre-depressed me.
Oh for the days when I couldn't reel off practically every psychiatric drug going. Oh for the days when I didn't spend practically every non working hour trawling the web for an answer.
Oh for the days, when I was actually terrified of dying and didn't fantasise about it.
Oh for the days when I got up went to work and then felt motivated to do things in the evening.
Oh for the days when I felt alive and glad to be.
Oh for the days when I empathised when somebody had died instead of feeling secretly envious.
Oh for the days when I didn't feel like I had something to hide.
Oh for the days when I looked forward to something other than my next Psychiatrist appointment.
Oh for the days when I didn't constantly ruminate about what drug I should try next.
Oh for the days when my boyfriend felt like my equal and not my carer.
Having said that I did have a good spell between 2003 and 2006.
Somebody send me a time machine please but then I'd have to go through the last six years all over again.
Denise
Posted by chiron on April 1, 2007, at 0:05:29
In reply to Re: I was just thinking of my life before depression., posted by deniseuk190466 on March 27, 2007, at 15:56:11
I love some of these statements:
Oh for the days, when I was actually terrified of dying and didn't fantasise about it.
Oh for the days when I empathised when somebody had died instead of feeling secretly envious
Oh for the days when I looked forward to something other than my next Psychiatrist appointment.For me, I have no memory of those days ever existing. It's good to hear I am not alone in my "weirdness zone" that makes me feel separate from normal society. I don't understand how people go through life without constantly trying to figure out its meaning and just go on their day-to-day merry way. I would assume I wouldn't be so consumed with analyzing everything about life if I found pleasure and happiness in it. The pain presses me with a need to understand WHY we have to live and is there any meaning for it?
happy people = love life & be grateful - mood challenged = why, what, when
Posted by deniseuk190466 on April 1, 2007, at 12:56:53
In reply to Re: I was just thinking of my life before depression., posted by chiron on April 1, 2007, at 0:05:29
Chiron,
My thoughts exactly. When I felt well and contented I never questioned life or tried to analyse anything. I just was and enjoyed being.
When I'm depressed, I question everything, it's horrible.
I really feel for you that you have never known relief of your symptoms. At least the 1990s were a good decade for me, the 2000s have on the whole been bad. If someone told me that I could take something which made me feel as good as I did back then but it would shorten my life span and I'd only get to live a year, I think I would take it.
I'll keep my fingers crossed for you. I'll say a prayer to although I'm not particularly religious, I feel less close to any God when I'm low.
Denise
Posted by deniseuk190466 on April 1, 2007, at 13:01:17
In reply to Re: I was just thinking of my life before depression., posted by chiron on April 1, 2007, at 0:05:29
Chiron,
I'm not sure where you are, what Country you are in but would you consider something like Vagus Nerve Stimulation or Deep Brain Stimulation?
Would you be able to get on a trial?
Also, what other medications have you tried and how did they affect you?
Denise
This is the end of the thread.
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