Shown: posts 139 to 163 of 545. Go back in thread:
Posted by Fallen4myT on April 6, 2004, at 14:07:47
In reply to Happy Birthday Sandy!, posted by LynneDa on April 6, 2004, at 13:28:11
Posted by jlynne on April 7, 2004, at 10:03:25
In reply to Re: Happy Birthday Sandy!/ from me too (nm), posted by Fallen4myT on April 6, 2004, at 14:07:47
. . . I'm thinking about you today, sweetie:~)
((((HUGS)))) ((((soft strokes))))
...jlynne
Posted by EmmyS on April 8, 2004, at 10:11:30
In reply to Sandy, posted by jlynne on April 5, 2004, at 0:43:30
Sandy - If anything I've said regarding triggers, and postings about suicide, have hurt you and caused you to leave Babble, please accept my personal apology. My rational mind can sometimes be clouded with childish emotion on this topic.
Please come back and join your friends in Babbleland.
Emmy
Posted by SandyWeb on April 8, 2004, at 15:08:38
In reply to Sandy, posted by jlynne on April 6, 2004, at 12:12:19
Hi all,
I'm sorry if I caused you to worry this past week by not being on the board. Turns out that Dr. Bob called the police again. They came out on the evening of April 1st, but left after a while. But there was a seperate call the next morning, and two more police showed up at 11:30am. And they made me go to the hospital.
So I've been in-patient since the morning of April 2nd. I just got back this afternoon. I am soooo tired. I didn't enjoy being on "suicide watch". And I did a certain amount of freaking out the first couple of days.
I'm FREE now. Yeah!! Finally I'll be able to get some sleep.
The two cops stuck with me the whole time we were at the hospital until I was admitted. They were wonderful guys, and they were quite shocked when they found out that they wouldn't be taking me back home. I just didn't present to them as someone in crisis. Aren't we all just great at hiding our true selves? *smile*
For starters:
Thank you, Dr. Bob, for continuing to seek help for me. It took 5 visits from the police simply because I wasn't willing to show that things were that serious. But I was the "real deal", and I'm grateful for your "interference". Lol. I knew after that one day of walking to the ER and then not being able to enter....that there wasn't much chance I'd make it past my birthday. But I'm still here, thanks to you.....and to those darn pesky nurses who wouldn't even give me much breathing space to go to the washroom! LOL!
And I want to thank all of you for seeing me through this. It was uplifting to come home and to find that you had still been posting to me during the past week. The "professionals" had even told me that an internet board was not the place for me to be going to get the type of support that I needed....but you know what? They obviously don't know Dr. Bob's GREAT community of caring people. I tried to explain that all you wanted was to keep me talking and support me through it, but I guess they just don't get the importance of this type of board. That's a shame.
And finally,
Thank you very much, jlynne, for sticking with me throughout it all!!!! You started this thread for me, and you spent a lot of your time and self in keeping me around. I probably would have left the board too soon without your thoughtfulness. Thanks for being such a great friend to me.
In conclusion (I feel like I'm writing a book! Lol!):
I can't say that I feel "safe" with myself yet, BUT.......I made it past the date I had set for myself. That was HUGE. My vitals were crazy leading up to that day, and I had 3 panic attacks while there. But when April 7th arrived, my vitals drastically changed for the better and I didn't have another panic attack. I made it. I'm still here. Nothing has really changed, BUT....I don't have anymore significant dates. *smile*
Thanks again, Dr. Bob, for calling in the calvery. Totally unexpected and absolutely not appreciated at the time (*big smile*), but....YOU DONE GOOD! Lol!
Now I'm going to curl up in my OWN bed.
Hugs,
Sandy
Posted by gardenergirl on April 8, 2004, at 15:17:38
In reply to Re: Sandy, posted by SandyWeb on April 8, 2004, at 15:08:38
Sandy,
It's so good to hear from you. I was hoping that while you weren't posting you were somewhere safe. I'm glad you were. Enjoy your sleep and take care. We missed you.gg
Posted by LynneDa on April 8, 2004, at 15:21:31
In reply to Re: Sandy, posted by SandyWeb on April 8, 2004, at 15:08:38
Sandy - Thank you for posting. I am really relieved you're okay, my eyes are filled with tears at this happy news :-) You are a valuable human, a mom, a person in need and you reached out to us. You are not a burden & you don't bring us down, never ever think that. We want to know how you are and how we can help.
I'm just so glad you're still with us. One step at a time. Staying alive is your first step and you did it!!!!! Congratulations!
~ Lynne
Posted by Jai Narayan on April 8, 2004, at 16:38:21
In reply to Re: Sandy, posted by gardenergirl on April 8, 2004, at 15:17:38
Posted by noa on April 8, 2004, at 17:56:07
In reply to Re: Sandy, posted by SandyWeb on April 8, 2004, at 15:08:38
I'm glad to see that you made it through the worst of that storm, Sandy. Thanks for checking in.
I agree that PB has been a true lifesaver for me, too. Although I didn't get the "cavalry" called in on me, PB did help me get through the worst of my depressions.
I do hope you are also getting in-person treatment as well, though, as a follow up to the hospitalization. PB is wonderful, but I don't feel it can replace in person treatment.
Be well, Sandy.
Posted by Dr. Bob on April 8, 2004, at 18:13:32
In reply to Re: Sandy, posted by SandyWeb on April 8, 2004, at 15:08:38
Posted by jlynne on April 8, 2004, at 19:29:03
In reply to Re: Sandy, posted by SandyWeb on April 8, 2004, at 15:08:38
Sandy, you just cannot imagine the smile on my face when I saw your name on your post. It is so good to have you back here!! And I am very relieved to hear that you were somewhere getting some help, and not alone all this time.
You are going to get a lot of people giving you advice now, and sometimes it will feel overwhelming, but just remember that you are loved, and we are here for you. You can sort out what you need and disregard the rest, okay??
Thank God for Dr. Bob, and nice cops, eh?
God bless you, Sandy. I look forward to a long, long e-friendship:~)
((((BIG HUGS)))) ((((BIG SMILES)))) ((((soft strokes))))
...jlynne
Posted by Fallen4myT on April 8, 2004, at 22:13:39
In reply to Re: Sandy, posted by SandyWeb on April 8, 2004, at 15:08:38
Posted by jlynne on April 9, 2004, at 22:05:24
In reply to Re: Sandy » SandyWeb, posted by jlynne on April 8, 2004, at 19:29:03
Hi, sweetie:~) Hope you are doing okay. Must be kind of surreal, huh?
No pressure; you take your time and post when you feel like it, okay? I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking about you:~)
God bless you.
((((HUGS)))) ((((strokes))))
...jlynne
Posted by SandyWeb on April 9, 2004, at 22:41:26
In reply to Hey, Sandy . . . you still sleeping??, posted by jlynne on April 9, 2004, at 22:05:24
Yes, I'm very tired. I am just on my way to bed now, but decided to check my mail first.
You hit the nail on the head. It is absolutely surreal!! I even said that within my head yesterday. See...we really must be sisters! *smile* I start to wonder if I'm still on the unit and only having thoughts of being back home. It is the oddest thing.
I still can't sleep very well, but my bed is so much more comfy than the hospital bed! And my pillow is SOFT. And it's dark when I turn out the light. And noone invades my privacy. I think the travel agency must have mixed up my reservation because I'm sure I asked for Club Med!! Lol!
Yes, I don't feel much like talking about myself. They said it was like pulling teeth to get anything out of me.....but they ended up getting enough and that made me feel like I had lost a tremendous amount of power. I felt so trapped, and I just kept asking to go home. Sheesh, they wouldn't even let me off the unit to walk around the hospital. I felt like a 7-year old who is being punished and sent to their room.
All that being said, I am glad that I was there. They kept me safe, ensuring that I made it past my birthday. I didn't like that loss of control, and it made me very aggitated. But I actually found something that would do the trick very nicely, and that made me feel like I had gotten some of my "self" back. I would touch it from time to time, knowing that it was there if I wanted it. Maybe if I had had a little more privacy, I may have used it. I was working so hard on my birthday, trying to keep my head above water. The day had arrived, and I was putting a great deal of effort into making it to midnight. So I appreciate the invasiveness of the nurses, both male and female.
When I saw the pdoc on the 8th, I said everything I had to say in order to be discharged. My sister was there for the interview, and I had to cross a line with her that I didn't want to and I'm still very unsettled about. I was made to tell her more information than I ever would have. So now the relationship is pretty strained on my end. She keeps calling and emailing each day, but I don't pick up the phone or answer the emails. I crossed the line only so I could go home, and my heart sank when I did it. But if I didn't do it, I was not going to be discharged. So now I don't really want any contact with my sister. I exposed too much to her. And there's no going back....she's not going to just forget! Lol! It made me sick to my stomach to have to tell her about suicide and all my "demons". That is just so private and protected by me.....I can't deal with her knowing. She's incredibly supportive towards me, but now I know her thoughts behind those eyes will be assessing me and trying to help me. It was a line that I never would have crossed, and it was a huge mistake on the part of the pdoc. I'm going to have to distance myself from my sister for a very long time now.
And I've been having these synthesized marrocas shaking in my head since I was there. I mentioned it once, but I was just smiled at. It only stops when I'm asleep. My eyes dance with it sometimes, and darn if I'm not going to slam into a wall or have a seizure sometime. It's driving me "insane". And I don't know if it has anything to do with the marrocas in my head, but I'm having a lot of trouble understanding people. They'll be talking to me, and I can hear them....it's not that I'm going deaf or anything. But I'll think they said something different, and we end up looking strangely at each other when I respond. Lol!! I began to feel like such an idiot when I kept doing this with people. Or I can't understand what they're saying because all I hear are syllables. I have no idea what they are saying. It's a foreign language. So I have to ask them to repeat it. It's so embarrassing. And I have nightmare after nightmare when I sleep. And the majority of them have something to do with blood. It's horrible to wake up repeatedly with that fear racing through you. And they just don't stop. And I smell body odor! Lol! I'll be walking around, and it seems that I stink!! I'm thinking that people will smell me. And even after taking showers, I still can smell my body odor. I don't get what that means, but it's bothersome.
Jeepers, I did't mean to write this much. Get me near a keyboard and you can't pull me away. Lol!
Okay, I'm heading for bed. I can hardly keep my eyes open. Hopefully I'll actually sleep tonight.
Thanks for the support, everyone!
Hugs,
Sandy
Posted by mystic on April 9, 2004, at 22:59:05
In reply to Re: Sandy » SandyWeb, posted by jlynne on April 8, 2004, at 19:29:03
Sandy...I'm soooo glad that you are no longer upset that I contacted Dr Bob and that he was persistant in helping you ...I knew that you needed it and it was more than we could help you with..I have lived with the guilt and was sooo upset knowing that somehow I had done something that was causing you so much pain...
I lost my best friend to suicide so I'm not appoligizing for what I did...I'm telling you that you are special and people care about you..I only wish I would have been there to help my wonderful friend...God Bless you and Take care..I realize you probably wont want to talk to me or want me to post on your site...Only by accident did I find this site...I wont invade any longer just glad to hear you are doing good..I've been soooo worried...Take care and God Bless you...Mystic
Posted by noa on April 9, 2004, at 23:00:35
In reply to Re: Hey, Sandy . . . you still sleeping?? » jlynne, posted by SandyWeb on April 9, 2004, at 22:41:26
I'm coming up to the 20th anniversary of my hospitalization, and what you said reminds me of some of what I felt then--lack of control mostly. But I also felt it was good to have been there if only to have kept me safe. The therapy in the hospital I was in was negligible, but it was a way to keep me safe for a while.
Take good care of yourself, Sandy.
Posted by SandyWeb on April 10, 2004, at 20:37:24
In reply to RE:: Sandy, posted by mystic on April 9, 2004, at 22:59:05
Thanks for everyone's concern. I don't think I've ever had so much attention directed towards me! A little disconcerting! Lol! But I think it's wonderful how strangers can all come together for a common purpose. It reminds me of when I worked on the SwissAir disaster. It didn't matter who you were or what your "rank" was.....everyone had that common goal of doing whatever was necessary. I worked in the morgue, so I got to see it all....body parts, personal belongings, and what was left of the plane as it was brought in piece by piece. It gave me hope for our little world when so many people were all coming together to look out for total strangers. And that's what you guys have all done. I mean, who the heck is Sandy, right? But you all pulled together for me. What a group!!! Gotta love ya!!
And, of course I am not upset with you, Mystic. I'm glad that you all got involved. I really believe that I wouldn't be here if not for the interference. Am I EVER glad that I posted to the board. Now I just have to take it day by day. I feel a little stronger for having made it past my birthday. WooHoo!!!! *smile*
All that being said, I'm still having a heck of a time with my brain! Lol! It seems to be getting worse. My daughter just laughed at me tonight and said that I was so confused. No kidding!! I get lost, I forget where I'm going or even why I'm going there, I feel nauseous, my head won't stop with the maracas, and I still can't understand what is being said and I quite frequently will begin to say something but I can't get through the darn sentence....so I just garble the rest. My brain is freaking me out! Lol! I am so dizzy, and I just want to make it stop!!! Argh!!
Time and patience, right? I'm just scared that if it keeps up, I'm going to have to go back into the hospital because I can't function properly!!!! As much as I enjoyed the great people who work there, I do NOT want to return as a patient. I have an appointment with a pdoc on Wednesday. I'm hoping I can converse properly with him. I don't want him to make me go back in. So I'm just waiting it out, and hoping that my poor ole brain will clear up by Wednesday afternoon. Maybe I'll be my old self by then.
Has anyone else gone through this?? If you have, could you share with us your experience? How long does it take for the brain to adjust to being med free???
Love you guys! And Dr. Bob....you rock!!! *big hug*
Smiles,
Sandy
Posted by mystic on April 11, 2004, at 9:07:28
In reply to RE:: Sandy, posted by SandyWeb on April 10, 2004, at 20:37:24
Sandy...Happy Easter...Hope you are doing well..and the kids and you have a great day..!!! It was very quiet in here yesterday...you take care of yourself...Mystic
Posted by jlynne on April 11, 2004, at 21:06:39
In reply to RE:: Sandy, posted by SandyWeb on April 10, 2004, at 20:37:24
>I get lost, I forget where I'm going or even why I'm going there, I feel nauseous, my head won't stop with the maracas, and I still can't understand what is being said and I quite frequently will begin to say something but I can't get through the darn sentence....so I just garble the rest.
>Hi, Sandy:~) I hope you are having a nice, peaceful Easter.
It has been many years since I was hospitalized, but I do remember having a terrible time functioning mentally. One of the worst parts for me was making decisions - - FORGET IT - - couldn't do it. I also found myself crying one minute, laughing the next, then sometimes locking myself in my room, to protect my kids.
And my kids grew up thinking it was normal to walk through a grocery store, fill up the shopping cart with groceries, and then end up having to leave the store without the groceries because I couldn't keep it together long enough to go through the check out line.
I'm sure that part of what you are going through is withdrawal from your meds, but your brain has been doing flip-flops trying to keep up with your emotions, too. Your body has been producing its own little pharmaceuticals in an attempt to protect you from the stress you have been experiencing. You just have to take it slowly, and give your body and mind time to heal.
What helped me the most, I think, was talking to my T and learning about my illness. I also did a great deal of writing - - whatever came into my head; thoughts, memories, feelings [MOSTLY feelings].
But you know what? After surviving that experience, I can now honestly say that I am capable of facing anything . . . because I have already been through hell! And now you can say that, too, because we are going to help you through it . . . and you are going to come out stronger than you ever thought you could be.
The human spirit is an amazing thing, Sandy, and yours is ready to heal and to grow. The scars are what character and humility are built upon.
God bless you on this special day.
((((Sandy)))) ((((HUGS))))
...jlynne
Posted by noa on April 12, 2004, at 9:24:02
In reply to Sandy, posted by jlynne on April 11, 2004, at 21:06:39
>But you know what? After surviving that experience, I can now honestly say that I am capable of facing anything . . . because I have already been through hell!....The human spirit is an amazing thing, Sandy, and yours is ready to heal and to grow. The scars are what character and humility are built upon.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for writing this!
Posted by EmmyS on April 12, 2004, at 10:21:36
In reply to RE:: Sandy, posted by SandyWeb on April 10, 2004, at 20:37:24
Sandy -
I guess Dr Bob doesn't want to move your post from psychobabble since it had to do with meds. Fine. But what you said was that you quit your meds 2 weeks ago cold turkey and are feeling awfully sick from that. You were not given any new scripts while in the hospital, other than a couple ativans.
But, you were not honest with the people at the hospital about your symptoms. As you put it, you were "acting" the whole time you were there in order to leave asap.
Sandy, Sandy, Sandy...mental health professionals have to rely on the reports of their patients. If patients smile and say, "Hey, I feel SO much better! I don't feel sad, I'm not hearing voices, I don't want to cut, I don't want to die, I'd never do that to my kids, I really just need to get home, I need to get back to work", etc., well, they are not psychics and they can't hook you up to a lie detector, or use chinese water torture on you to get at the truth. In order to feel better, you HAVE to be honest with them. If you are not honest with them, they have NO WAY to make you feel better. They have no tools to use against undisclosed symptoms.
On Wednesday you have a Pdoc appt. Will you be honest with him?
Also, regarding your sister....she loves you and wants to help. She is a real live human being, who loves you, in your real life, who wants to help. A SUPPORT SYSTEM!! Yeah!! It will take some getting used to the change in dynamic between you two, but that will happen in time. She's worried because she loves you. Let her love you. That the best gift you could ever give her. Give to her. Let her help.
Take care Sandy.
Emmy
Posted by LynneDa on April 12, 2004, at 10:54:41
In reply to RE:: Sandy, posted by SandyWeb on April 10, 2004, at 20:37:24
Hi Sandy - Good to hear from you, you're sounding pretty good . . . oh except for the maracas and language processing problem!! (ha!)
How is writing for you? That is a different part of the brain. Maybe make some notes for your p-doc appt. Going off meds is tricky business. Your brain takes a while to adjust, but everyone's different as to time.
I wish you the best of luck sweetie! Hang in there and keep trying to do what is best for you & your kids. Little baby steps are fine, you know! We're here for you and we care. Never forget, YOU ARE WORTH IT - even on the days you feel the worst, okay?
~ Lynne
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Thanks for everyone's concern. I don't think I've ever had so much attention directed towards me! A little disconcerting! Lol! But I think it's wonderful how strangers can all come together for a common purpose. It reminds me of when I worked on the SwissAir disaster. It didn't matter who you were or what your "rank" was.....everyone had that common goal of doing whatever was necessary. I worked in the morgue, so I got to see it all....body parts, personal belongings, and what was left of the plane as it was brought in piece by piece. It gave me hope for our little world when so many people were all coming together to look out for total strangers. And that's what you guys have all done. I mean, who the heck is Sandy, right? But you all pulled together for me. What a group!!! Gotta love ya!!
>
> And, of course I am not upset with you, Mystic. I'm glad that you all got involved. I really believe that I wouldn't be here if not for the interference. Am I EVER glad that I posted to the board. Now I just have to take it day by day. I feel a little stronger for having made it past my birthday. WooHoo!!!! *smile*
>
> All that being said, I'm still having a heck of a time with my brain! Lol! It seems to be getting worse. My daughter just laughed at me tonight and said that I was so confused. No kidding!! I get lost, I forget where I'm going or even why I'm going there, I feel nauseous, my head won't stop with the maracas, and I still can't understand what is being said and I quite frequently will begin to say something but I can't get through the darn sentence....so I just garble the rest. My brain is freaking me out! Lol! I am so dizzy, and I just want to make it stop!!! Argh!!
>
> Time and patience, right? I'm just scared that if it keeps up, I'm going to have to go back into the hospital because I can't function properly!!!! As much as I enjoyed the great people who work there, I do NOT want to return as a patient. I have an appointment with a pdoc on Wednesday. I'm hoping I can converse properly with him. I don't want him to make me go back in. So I'm just waiting it out, and hoping that my poor ole brain will clear up by Wednesday afternoon. Maybe I'll be my old self by then.
>
> Has anyone else gone through this?? If you have, could you share with us your experience? How long does it take for the brain to adjust to being med free???
>
> Love you guys! And Dr. Bob....you rock!!! *big hug*
>
> Smiles,
>
> Sandy
>
Posted by SandyWeb on April 12, 2004, at 11:14:34
In reply to RE:: Sandy » SandyWeb, posted by EmmyS on April 12, 2004, at 10:21:36
Hi Emmy,
For one thing, I didn't lie to the porfessionals while in the hospital. I *did* tell them about the sounds in my head....but they just smiled at me....so I didn't mention it again. And the sounds in my head are what are causing the dizziness and loss of balance. And as for talking with them, they got a heck of a lot out of me! I told them things that I haven't told a soul, although it was like "pulling teeth" they said. I'm just a very private person. And they *did* find out what my buttons were, and they pushed them without remorse to get me to cry. That's always fun. Lol.Believe me, they could obviously tell that I wasn't well. But they also knew that I was not the type of person to sit down and talk and talk about things. They needed to find the right way to work with me, and they were doing that.
As for "acting".....I've "acted" all my life. I will NOT show you how I'm feeling. I cover up my tears, my sadness, my insecurities......and I don't think that is something these people would have been able to get me to drop my barriers in just a few days! I've been this way for years....it's my protection.....it's a very real part of who I am, and it's NOT going to just magically disappear and allow me to expose myself to these people in 7 days! I mean, I "act" with my kids....who I love very much....and if I can't allow my kids to know my true soul (and who the heck knows why), then it's going to take a whole lot longer than 7 days for me to drop my masks to strangers.
I never told them "I feel SO much better." I never told them, "I don't feel sad." They never asked about cutting, but the evidence was right in front of their eyes so why even bother asking me, right? I never said, "I don't want to die".....in fact, I told them that I did. I wasn't lieing to them, and it bothers me that you said that to me.
It's just that I improved so much the day after my birthday. And one nurse even said how much better I was because when I first came in I didn't even have any eye contact.
I was MADE to tell my sister about my personal struggle. I would NEVER have done that, and the only reason I did was to GET OUT. Yes, I should have been in there longer. Yes, I should have been on meds. Yes, I'm still not safe. But the only thing that was done to get me out was to reveal my truth to my sister. That was it. I did not lie. One pdoc said that he didn't know if I was putting on a brave face when he admitted me. I *always* put on a brave face. That's just ME.....and there was not any special acting just for the benefit of the professionals. Jeesh. I'm just very, very private.....and I do NOT share much in terms of what makes me tick. I felt safe on this board to open myself up a bit because of the anomymity. Face to face is a COMPLETELY didn't story....and the masks come on.
I was not trying to mislead....I told them what they needed to hear and a little more......but not ALL. I think I'd have to be under "truth syrum" for that to happen (HA!).....because that is just how I protect myself. It is not something that changes overnight.
I was honest with them. I didn't lie to them. I just didn't reveal ALL the truth....only what I was capable of doing. And it was enough....they KNEW I was sick. But they also thought that since meds never worked for me before, that they wouldn't work for me now. And since I'd never had therapy before, let's go that route instead.
And as for the new pdoc appointment on Wednesday, why ask if I will be honest with him?? Of course I will be. But I can assure you that I'm not going to be sitting there talking my mouth off for an hour. Ask me a question, I'll think it through, and I'll give you a short answer that covers what is necessary. I have to protect myself....for whatever reason, who knows. But I don't lie. If there is something I don't WANT to tell, I'll let the person know that I can't answer that (such as who tried to pull my head off). Of course I'll be honest. But being honest doesn't mean exposing every nerve ending I have! And as professionals, they understand that many people take time to get to know.
And as for my sister, you don't understand the dynamics of our relationship. We had been separated for all of our 20's, and now that I'm back here we've missed out on a lot of each other's lives. Regardless, there is a line that we both know not to cross. We BOTH have a line. Maybe most families don't have one. I don't know and I don't care....it's none of my concern. But my sister and I do.....and once you cross the line, there is no going back. She knows more about me now than I feel comfortable with. I do NOT want her too far inside me. And now she knows something rather too personal.....and I have a hard time with that. Yes, of course she's a support system....of course she loves me....of course she wants to help. I'm not an idiot. BUT....the way that I tick, I need to protect myself.....and I reveal only to a certain extent. I don't LIE....I don't COVER UP....I don't PRETEND something isn't happening.....but I will NOT take someone too far down the road until I can handle that. And believe me, I wasn't able to handle that type of disclosure to my sister at that time.
Okay, sorry for this message. It just hurts when I'm misunderstood.....and therein stands another reason why I do not open up very often.....I get misunderstood and that ends up hurting me. And so I've learned to keep my mouth shut about very deep issues to me.
Posted by EmmyS on April 12, 2004, at 11:28:32
In reply to RE:: Sandy » EmmyS, posted by SandyWeb on April 12, 2004, at 11:14:34
Sandy - I'm sorry if I misunderstood you. I am pretty sure you said you should get an Academy Award for your acting while in the hospital I thought that meant you weren't being honest about your feelings while you were there. I apologize for my misinterpretation. It's hard to understand what people mean when all we have are written words sometimes.
I was just kidding about the lie detector AND chinese water torture! Neither were meant to offend you.
Sandy - I'm just trying to help. NOT trying to offend. But I'm still very glad you are here and posting! Getting emotions out in any form is still very healthy.
Emmy
Posted by SandyWeb on April 12, 2004, at 11:29:22
In reply to RE:: Sandy » SandyWeb, posted by EmmyS on April 12, 2004, at 10:21:36
And what the heck do you mean by, "I'd never do that to my kids"?? I wouldn't EVER do anything to them. I took them away from crap, and I've protected them the best I could!!
They knew NOTHING about what has been happening with me. The police even spent time with them until my sister showed up, and the kids didn't know anything had been wrong with mommy. I do NOT expose my problems to others.....except this board, and maybe even THAT was a mistake!
But I do NOT want to hear anything about my kids again. You don't have the RIGHT to make inferences like that!! I may not protect myself very well, but you'd better not be saying that I would do something to my kids! My whole existence revolved around making a better life for them. "I never do that to my kids"?? What exactly were you saying? Why did you place that in my LYING category???
Carly and I went for a nice walk last night, and then for another one today. I got my hair cut while we were out walking today. I was feeling better. But then I come home and read something that just makes me want to CRY. And I knOW that I shouldn't get upset by a faceless stranger on the internet.....but guess what?? One of my probelsm is that I get hurt very, very easily. And I feel like I've been attacked.
Sorry.
Posted by LynneDa on April 12, 2004, at 11:30:47
In reply to RE:: Sandy » EmmyS, posted by SandyWeb on April 12, 2004, at 11:14:34
Hi! I hate being misunderstood/misinterpreted more than anything too - one of my biggest "pet peeves", but it has the opposite effect on me - I talk and reveal more (too much) to try and clear it up :-).
Just an idea for your p-doc appt. Maybe print out all your posts. You're pretty lucid and very articulate in them. It may be easier than having to re-hash everything!
~ Lynne
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