Posted by susan47 on August 1, 2009, at 14:37:54
In reply to C.W., posted by susan47 on July 31, 2009, at 18:09:26
No Matter how justified you may have felt, how Dare you write me a letter saying you were going to share my most personal private and tortured moments .... how dare you cancel the therapy relationship with an explanation that it was me, it was you, it wasn't going to work, that my transference was too strong ... how dare you not have the ability to honestly sincerely work it out with me, get to the bottom of what was driving me, discuss with me those things that needed to be discussed; your incompetence and my ferocity were a match made in hell but you never never once have ever shown me any remorse or any dignity at all by having a willingness to be open, to be kind, to be accepting, to be able to Handle what came your way, as a Professional -- I find your qualifications have the substance and meaning of ... candy. Eye candy, isn't that what you are, Doctor?
How I hated myself for feeling the way I felt. Now I imagine I would have a heart attack (people have heart attacks for emotional reasons more often than we ever know, and sometimes I feel my heart's sickness and I have to work on making it better, all the time, thinking good thoughts, not remembering how I became the Unwanted One. Damn you. How could you have done this???) if I ever laid eyes on you in again in real life. Knowing I loved a completely cowardly bottom-feeder really, really hurts. Because it means I have to give up all my ideas about what men could really be like. It means that you all really are basically the same, and what I see is pretty gross.
poster:susan47
thread:832961
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20090424/msgs/909698.html