Posted by susan47 on April 12, 2009, at 14:40:28
In reply to What's it like to be so perfect, posted by susan47 on April 4, 2009, at 0:18:52
your voice goes up at "beep" as though you are saying, don't bother me you stupid girl, why do you bother, don't phone me I've asked you not to bother me ...
and again I say, how can you refuse me now, how can you refuse to be that which I ask of you so humbly, open and with apology, and I say also to myself in a much different type of voice, I say, how Dare you refuse to be my muse, how could you allow me to fall so openly in love, in Love and lust and then not see the fruits of my labours, not understand what you stirred up and yes it was a psychotic experience, in the end, and yes it was bad for my health and your health and on and on ad infinitum, because I have a feeling you have rehearsed your little speeches a few times at least, given me all the reasons I have to cease and desist.
And this is my world, this is the feeling and the questions and the answers to my life you are so blatantly throwing away.
And I am .. regretful that it had to be anyone at the end of my unrequited love, and yet somehow I still feel you were not always an unwilling participant in the deception. In the beginning sometimes some things just seem so insignificant, and I understand that. I do. But listen .. because of you, my life was saved.
poster:susan47
thread:832961
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20080605/msgs/890154.html