Posted by ClearSkies on September 19, 2006, at 21:42:04
In reply to Which Came First?, posted by Lindenblüte on September 19, 2006, at 9:10:00
Please exuse me if I'm talking out of turn, I don't mean to insult or hurt.
It's important to you to know which came first... and that used to bother me, distress me so much. When did my bad stuff start? What triggered what? Whatever happened in the past, I can't change. I can't do "if only"s because that makes it worse, and my head just refuses to go there.
When I turn my attention to my feelings, the end result of what has happened, whenever it happened, it's no longer important to me to put it all in the right sequence. Coming to terms with the emotions that the experiences evoke is what has helped me.
So, my take on your "My"s is...
My terror, or my angst?
yes, terror and angst, tied up with each other, impossible to tease apart.My words, or my silence?
how I feel about my words *and* my silenceMy screams, or my words?
screams, and what feeling makes you screamMy double consciousness, or my illusion of unity?
which one makes you feel safer?My fragments, or my self?
how do your fragments feel? Do some make you feel good?My childhood, or my problems?
yes, Entwined, at least for me. the problems just became more apparent as time passed.CS
poster:ClearSkies
thread:687366
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20060722/msgs/687536.html