Posted by Damos on March 22, 2006, at 22:43:11
Thought I was okay yesterday.....I really did
Thought special_k's posts explained it
And they did.........to a large extent
And yesterday was different to most days and today
And today
I'm not doing so good :-(
Not so good at all
Been on the verge of tears all day
What is wrong with me?
I hate feeling like this
Variable
Just feeling so lost
So very, very lost
Disheartened and disillusioned
And broken
And alone
And stupid, really, really stupid
And abandoned
And like everything I've learned and know means nothing
That I'm non-existent
I don't fit, won't fit, can't fit
That I've wasted so much time and effort here
I hate it
So much doubt
And frustration
And questions, so many d*mn question
None of which have answers
Confusions and conflicts
No meaning, or value or purpose to any of it
And that hurts cause I need it
Thought I'd come right
But I haven't
Not good at talking about my feeling, much less writing about them
I don't mean to shut people out, I don't, but I do cause I don't know what to say
Don't understand the feelings much less how to describe them
And I hate being a burden, but I am and I know it
Because when it does go to custard
I go where I feel safe - and that's so few places
And I hate it
I'm sorry
poster:Damos
thread:623529
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20060125/msgs/623529.html