Posted by Susan47 on January 13, 2006, at 1:41:00
In reply to Re: PLEASE Damos read me » Susan47, posted by Damos on January 12, 2006, at 15:43:05
> In virtuality, reality, for ever and a day, whatever it take Susan, whatever it takes.
>
> ((((((((((Susan)))))))))))
> ((((((((((Susan)))))))))))
> ((((((((((Susan)))))))))))
> ((((((((((Susan)))))))))))
> ((((((((((Susan)))))))))))
> ((((((((((Susan)))))))))))
>
> It doesn't seem crazy to me, just crazy making. You just reach out. take my hand and hold on tight. I won't let go if you don't. Talk to me as long and often as you want to. Say whatever needs to be said however you need to say it. You are a very dear friend to me. I think there's a saying that's something like; "The darkest is just before the dawn." Maybe that new dawn is nearly here for you. Maybe. I hope so. Part of me thinks that what happened only reinforced, intensified even the things you originally went there seeking help with. AARRGGHH sorry I'm struggling to say what I mean.No, you're saying it perfectly for me. You don't even know me. I don't know you. But how do you understand so clearly? Hmh. I mean, yes but maybe you're only saying that because I think I've referred to things that way myself and you've read what I wrote. I mean, maybe yes and maybe no. I don't know, anymore, I never did, I used to think I was really really ugly and homely awful, terrible and I know that I don't think that right now, I don't think that anymore, so maybe it was all good and maybe it was all bad, the truth is in the middle, it was somewhere in between but in the end I have to make to Good, it's up to me, I made it bad and I'm the only one who can make it Good, Damos. I struggle so much with that. So much and I'm so incredibly tired of it. I'm just really ready to drown, you know.
I never understood it before, the term "drowning in sorrow" .. but it's true, it can happen. It happens like that.
>
> Just know that I've tried to follow along and I don't think you're crazy or dangerous. I think you're struggling to sort pre-him stuff from him-stuff. Your stuff from his stuff. And it's all just tumbling out. The only thing you know with absolute clarity is that a wrong was done and that there should be an apology. So everything just keeps circling around that. And the circle becomes a whirlpool and just sucks more and more stuff in and down. There is strength in the fact that you can see, can separate.Yes, but my separations and what I see cannot possibly be accurate more than a percentage of the time .. probably a small percentage .. because there's as many ways of seeing the truth as there are minds that see it .... minds lie. Mine has. Everyone's has, and does, constantly; we call it "seeing things from a different perspective." There's a danger in seeing things all black or all white. Things can be grey, things can be different shades of grey, even. And it can all be truth and lies at the same time. And I think I should just shut up, now, because I've confused myself ...
There is a freedom to choose between the stimulus and the response, and the coice is based on self awareness, imagination, conscience and independant will. Use that space Susan. You have self awareness, an incredible imagination, conscience and an independant spirit and will. You can do this. I know you can. I just know it.
>
> ((((((((((Susan))))))))))Well you just almost made me cry because you can be so kind, and so understanding, and you do, I think, understand, and thanks for this Damos, this kindness you've shown me. :) I can't believe it, we'll probably never lay eyes on each other IRL but this was lovely, this way of knowing you.
poster:Susan47
thread:594059
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20051205/msgs/598578.html