Posted by Susan47 on January 12, 2006, at 12:19:33
In reply to Re: Too weak, woo weak, too weak to whill ... » Susan47, posted by Damos on January 2, 2006, at 16:07:37
> > Oh sweetie, Damos you sweet adorable lovely man, and yes I LOVED your pictures, send me more you're a darling boy
>
> Hang on half a mo while I pick myself up off the floor. Sweet, adorable, lovely - me? One of us is seriously deluded Suze, either you're seeing stuff that isn't there or I'm not seeing stuff that is, cause I'm so so not any of those things. I'm so not much of anything. the simple truth is I'm just not fit for human company IRL, on-line, any kind. Totally lacking in empathy, sympathy, kindness, compassion, caring and understanding, no idea how to communicate with anyone on any level about anything. About the only thing I have an endless supply of is emptiness.
>
> Don't quite know what's wrong at the moment I'm not so much struggling as just not feeling anything. Not depressed really , just kinda numb. Lost somewhere inside myself - hate it.
>
I wish you wouldn't say I'm seeing things that aren't there, or that I'm deluded, either, Damos. Because the truth is that you've been nothing but supportive to everyone here, to the best of my knowledge in any case, so if there's something else going on then I've missed it.
But I feel the hand of dooming starting to open the claw-like fingers, it's no longer in the hands of anybody who cares, and now the world knows how messed-up Susan is. Only it's not Susan, it's me. And I'm not messed-up at all, I acted out everything that was wrong, that is NOT messed-up, it's just messed-up to have other people not know how to deal professionally, in time, after triggering something they might be sincerely sorry for but nevertheless damage was done, damage was collateral (and EVEN THAT sounds crazy, I know it does, but if you look at it from a purely unemotional perspective that's how it seems .. I can separate them out, does that make me crazy? Does it??) ... I'm in trouble, Damos. Hug me, virtually.
poster:Susan47
thread:594059
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20051205/msgs/598342.html