Posted by AdaGrace on October 23, 2005, at 12:18:38
In reply to Setting Son, posted by Toph on October 23, 2005, at 1:41:13
Fathers seem to sometimes expect more from their children than they themselves accomplished. As Susan said.
My husband lives his sports dreams through our son. It is embarassing how he boasts and brags on our son's athletic ability, or should I say athletic normalcy. Because although I am only his mother, I see my son's potential in accademics as much more important to work on than his athletic accomplishments. He wants to be a professional ball player. Never mind the sport, he think he will just choose whichever falls into his lap. My comment is, "that's nice son, but what is your backup plan, you have to have a back up plan". B's & C's come so readily to him that he rarely tries for anything stronger. His lack of trying for anything better accademically seems to be non important to his father who is so proud of his tackling ability and his free throw ability.
As I ponder this I am reminded of my own father, the man who used my mother up, literally, until she died tragically in a car accident, when she was nearing 70 years old, and yet had had literally no fun in her life. And he is now using his children up, sucking their very life blood from their body, and for what? For what is this dying desire to make us forever his slaves and do his bidding? Because he is the all powerful, all knowing, all being.......who sired us, yet did not nurture is, who ruled us, but did not teach us, and who used us to till his land, mow his yard, and harvest his vegetables, but did not love us. Was it just because he was a man and didn't know how to show it? Perhaps it was because he was raised by a powerful, yet overbearing mother who loved her church congregation more than her family.
"I bet you wished it was me that died in that car accident" his words ring in my ears.
"Yes, Dad, I do wish it was you" I silently worded in my mind only, yet said, "No, Dad, I wish it was neither of you"
Because like so many, I still wish for acknowledgement, praise, and love, from the man who is supposed to above all others, love me unconditionally for who I am, not what I can do or provide.
Is my husband doing the same to my son? In many ways, yes. But I see potential. Am I doing the same to my son? I fear I might be.
AdaGrace
poster:AdaGrace
thread:570793
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20051022/msgs/570923.html