Posted by greyskyeyes on August 23, 2005, at 17:04:44
In reply to Re: transference, posted by alexandra_k on August 22, 2005, at 21:01:43
<<... i think she said something about how we create our ideals. they are more a projection of us. i didn't like that so much. reminded me of the dog that << falls in love with his own reflection...
yeah, I see what she's saying and I have to agree I don't like that so much. maybe you take what you don't like about yourself and project the opposite onto the ideal? so that they make up for your imperfections? or they make up for your negative experiences? hmmm. because some of it was that I imagined he did things so much differently from me… he must be a better father than I am a mother… he must be so well adjusted… he and his wife probably never fight… stuff like that. he was so accepting and caring, and always heard me… experiences I never had growing up… he validated my feelings and explained my “crazy” behavior in a way to my husband that made sense, normalized it somehow.
the fact that he's the most gorgeous man I've ever seen in my life didn't hurt either. ;)
<< its just hard to know sometimes if i'm waiting for an ideal or if its just that the right person hasn't come along yet.
it’s funny, when you do meet the right person you idealize them… you know they’re the right person when the idealization wears off and you can still stand being with them. :)
<< its like how you can read case studies. and some people just seem so interesting and fascinating and complex and beautiful. more so than the rest of << us... but the case study is the therapists creation. and the story they tell about the client reveals more about the therapist than about the client. and <<some people who write case studies can spin beautiful stories... and others are more interested in making a point...
wow, I never thought of it like that. I love reading case studies - I agree, they are fascinating… but I never thought of it as the creation of the therapist… you’re absolutely right. my pdoc likes to tell me about some of his (former) patients, and I always find his descriptions so interesting - and they always somehow make a point, even though he doesn’t explicitly state so. usually the point is that I’m not as crazy/ hopeless as I think. :) I like your idea about a case study written by two different therapists regarding the same person, it probably *wouldn’t* be apparent that they are the same person.
hey I like “talking” with you alex… you’re a fascinating and complex person… and that’s not because of a skillful writer telling a story, I’m sure it’s quite true IRL. :)
poster:greyskyeyes
thread:543936
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20050807/msgs/545751.html