Posted by alexandra_k on March 21, 2005, at 1:16:18
So Dad walks out
'If I'd have stayed she would have driven me crazy'
And what the f*ck did he think happened to me?
But I have said that before...
So welfare keeps us alive
And Mother gets progressively sicker
And the neighbours
And the teachers
And the series of boyfriends
All butt out and turn away
'Cause it ain't their f*cking buisness and all.I kind of figured that not everyone had to live in their room
But then other people seemed to have quite different lives
And I didn't really know why
Mine was so hard
Except that she used to say over and over again
That it was my fault.And now I am broken.
But maybe I always was.
And there is nothing...
There really isn't anything...There isn't even anything I can do.
And I probably shouldn't even be saying it.Sometimes something just snaps.
And you think
'f*ck it I just can't do it anymore'
'I just can't keep on keeping on'
But then the problem remains:
What are you going to do.
You could go to bed.
But you will get sick of that soon enough.
You could act sad.
But you will get sick of that soon enough.
It is the instability that is so very hard to bear.
What makes it impossible to take a class one minute
Then when you don't have to do it you feel better all of a sudden.
People like to think it is a way of manipulating people into doing what you want.
A way of getting out of things.
But doesn't everyone feel better when what they were upset about is resolved?
I don't want to live like this anymore.
I am sick to death of it.
But it really doesn't matter at all
Because there is nothing to do
There is nothing to be done
Except to snap out of this soon
Before you have succeeded in f*cking most everybody off
Nobody can bear too much of this sh*t
So why do you feel compelled to share?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Because it feels less alone.
And I am all alone in the world.
And I am scaired.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:473445
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20050211/msgs/473445.html