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Re: me me me (trigger)

Posted by alexandra_k on January 11, 2005, at 21:20:37

In reply to Re: me me me (trigger), posted by alexandra_k on January 10, 2005, at 21:06:42

I don't understand what I am supposed to do.

Well, yeah I do. I am supposed to just shut myself away from the world because when I am like that I am not welcome there. I am not supposed to ask for help. I am not supposed to express my distress. I am supposed to just shut up and continue on. And when I can't do that anymore then I am supposed to shut myself away so that at least nobody else has to look at me or see me and my distress.

If there is another way then I can't see it.

People like to lecture on the good old thoughts -> feelings -> behaviour model. I am causing my own distress by the way I am thinking. I have the choice whether I express my distress or not and I should just act like everything is ok and act my way into feeling different. But the world doesn't always work that way. Not my world anyway. Does nobody else understand that?

Why is it so hard for clinicians to be kind?
To be civil?
What is it about me that always seems to bring out the worst in them?
When I am in an ok place then I can talk to them about stuff about what is going on.
But when I am distressed I can't explain to them and I just get so mad at them and then of course I aren't really helping them want to help me.

What the hell is wrong with me?
I don't understand.

 

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poster:alexandra_k thread:439945
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20041210/msgs/440872.html