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Re: More work

Posted by Jost on November 2, 2006, at 17:41:19

In reply to More work, posted by Jost on October 28, 2006, at 0:51:25

I'm thinking about not working with models, although I can't think of anything else I want to do.

the main problem is I'm just not good at anything. I'm not sure why.

but it is a waste of money for me to pay people to model for me when I'm not good.

My therapist says I'm not paying enough. But I'm actually paying much more than I can justify based on how much money I have and the value of what I"m doing.

I guess at some point, I'll just take some classes, or go to the sketch class, or something.

No one that has wanted to work with me has been interesting, or even just done the job seriously.

the other day Holly actually started reading a magazine-- and then apologized because she might have been making 'strange faces" because of the story she was reading.

As if she wasn't aware that her head was in the wrong position-- and that actually making faces when someone's drawing your head (even if it's already in the wrong position, when the position is the point) isn't okay.

where is someone's head that they can do that? I don't get it. But I actually am starting not to care that much because it's too hard to care. or to work with someone who's projecting a lot of negativity, or agitation, or indifference, or boredom, or such sheer exhaustion that they fall asleep.

I really have had very bad luck (? or experiences) with people for the longest time. I think it's because living in NY is so expensive, and I"m on the upper west side, which is far away from where more bohemian, or offbeat, or nontraditional people live=- and they can make as much money babysitting or teaching pilates-- and it's easier and they need the money and are too far away to make the roundtrip worthwhile. Or a combination of things. Some of which I'm can't guess at.

Plus I do do everything badly, for some reason.

which I don't really understand, and never will probably.

J


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poster:Jost thread:698368
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/work/20060706/msgs/699863.html