Posted by deirdrehbrt on March 10, 2006, at 22:42:00
In reply to Re: DISASTER -- all hope lost?, posted by AMD on March 10, 2006, at 17:13:16
AMD,
I think you've identified it correctly when you say " I feel this is something more than a "drinking problem."
As soon as you can make a statement like that, you're probably on the right road.
As far as needing more help than AA, I have a couple of questions for you. (I'm not saying that AA is enough or not, just some questions)Do you have a sponsor?
Do you use your sponsor?
Do you have telephone numbers that you can call whenever you need?
Do you read the Big Book?
Have you started the steps?
Do you go regularly and often to meetings?If you do go to a rehab, to get more help, chances are that when you leave, they'll ask you to go to AA.
For AA to work, you have to work the program. It's not easy. For it to work, you have to use the program to it's fullest.
The stakes sound really high in your case. Dropping nearly $10,000 on a single bender isn't child's play. It sounds to me like you're out of control, and like your life's unmanageable.
So, the question I have is this: Are you ready for it to stop? Do you want to stop for good?
If you need rehab, and detox, Please do so. If you're ready to stop this right now, let the program help. Let the program work. We'll be here after rehab or detox if that's what you choose. We're here right now too.
If you don't have a phone number to call ANYTIME, let me know... send me babblemail. I'll give you a number... mine. You can call ANYTIME.
$8500 on booze and drugs is enough to get you to alot of places; jail or worse. I never spent that much, but I have woken up in intensive care. I'm really scared for you my friend (If I may call you that).
So please, if you need a number, send Babblemail. This is what the program is here for. We all have been in the position of doing things without our own permission. When I drank, I would take ANY drug offered to me, whether I knew what it was or not. I would drink when I didn't want to. I would drive when I knew better. I drove once over 100 miles in a blackout. From NH to Cape Cod, through Boston.
This disease makes us do stupid things. Most of the time, we have merely moments of clarity when we can choose what we ought to do. From your description it was when you put that phone number in the phone. How many AA phone numbers do you have in that phone?
If you need a number, if you want another number, just ask me. I'm on your side in this. The next time you feel a need to call for alcohol, or some other substance, maybe when you're searching for the number, you'll go by mine, or another AA friend, and maybe, just maybe, that will give you that fleeting moment that you need to find the clarity you need.
How 'bout putting AA as the first entry in your phone list, and it can call your local or state hotline?
The whole point of AA is getting you to that point where you can think through what you're doing. It could have gone something like this:
Just after you said 'no' to the coke....
If I get his number, I might use it.
If I use his number, I know I'll use.
If I start using, I'll probably spend lots of money.
I'll probably be out of control for the night.
I probably won't be in any shape to go to work the next day.
My Girlfriend will probably be really p***d
I'll feel like trash for losing the time I accumulated.
and on and on and on.....Tell you the truth, that's probably what someone on the other end of the phone would have talked over with you. You'd say "I'm thinking about drinking. etc" I, or someone else would say "and what do you think that will do for you?"
That's what we do for each other. Help think through the consequences.
You're REALLY fortunate right now. It only lasted a day or so. Some of us don't get that lucky. One bender leads into complete abandonment to the disease. Some of us go out for a night that lasts years, or the rest of our lives.
Whatever you do, whether you choose rehab / detox, or not, please, PLEASE, arm yourself. Let the program work. Get some numbers if you don't have them yet. Use them. Tell on your disease. Even if it's a passing thought to use, call your sponsor or somebody. Make it a habbit.... think about booze, call somebody. When you do that, you break the cycle. It becomes easier to say 'no'.
Sorry I'm goin on so long. The other night I thought about using too, and I guess your post hit close to home. I WANT you too succeed. AA's have a vested interest in each other. Success for one of us is success for the group. Your drinking won't make me drink, but your success builds me up.
Anyway, if you need a number, please write. I'll give you my cell and home numbers.
Blessings and prayers,
--Dee
poster:deirdrehbrt
thread:618352
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20060205/msgs/618654.html