Posted by mama141 on November 8, 2005, at 15:53:53
In reply to Re: Very debatable » mama141, posted by SLS on November 8, 2005, at 11:09:46
I understand and respect your thoughts on individuality and differences. My concern in all of this is just how much of our ability to choose or implied loss of that ability, has been culturally imposed? ie: "I have a "disease" therefore I cant help the way I am" -- is the one end of the spectrum. How about what we pass on to our children? Or what our culture teaches them as far as self-control and personal responsibility?
Thank you for your kudos for my "self dicipline, but for me it goes WAY beyond that and that discussion really belongs on the faith board.> > When I drank I chose to drink. While I did not completely choose to be depressed, I believe that my ability to choose how I handled/reacted to that state,(depression) remained intact and therefore my responsibility.
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> I have an enormous amount respect for you and the self-discipline it must take to remain clean. You have chosen a route of responsibility and empowerment. Not everyone has been blessed with such self-directed vigilence.
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> One thing that I think has so far escaped our attention is the realization and acceptance that not everyone's addiction is like our own. Just as there is a spectrum of different kinds of depression, so there is for addiction. I think it is a mistake to generalize our own addiction to all others. I think we must respect peoples' failures as much as we respect peoples' successes. We just don't know the nature and extent of anyone else's hells but our own.
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> A friend of mine, as much as I have seen him try his best over the last month, has "failed" again at abstinence from heroin. His success has been the honesty and forthrightness with which he has communicated with his significant others his addiction. He has placed himself on waiting lists for rehab, but has not yet been placed. Timing is everything. It was his choice to seek help on his own. It was not his choice to be denied immediate attention. He used. His enormous cravings, both biological and psychological, were more than he was able to manage and cope with. It is not his choice to have such cravings. His behavior to pick up and use again occurs as a direct result of unwanted drives. As he acquires more tools to work with to maintain his sobriety, I can only hope that it continues to be his choice to use them.
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> I am not him. Neither are you. Neither is anyone else on Psycho-Babble. His addiction is unique. I am not inclined to judge the extent of his "free will" to choose by comparing my ease at maintaining sobriety to his.
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> - Scott
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poster:mama141
thread:575263
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20051106/msgs/576794.html