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Up a Creek » CleverGuy

Posted by verne on November 1, 2005, at 23:20:07

In reply to Re: Drinking Again, posted by CleverGuy on November 1, 2005, at 2:19:38

I'll check that website, rational.org out.

I'm not in any sort of program although AA and spiritual approaches have helped in the past - to an extent.

What struck me about AA and 12-step programs was that so much time was spent "not" drinking they hadn't escaped their addiction afterall. But in the end a dry drunk is probably less harmful to the captive.

When I was the most free of my problem with alcohol, I had surrendered - there was a letting go and a kind of spiritual rebirth. This surprised me since, in the past, I had dismissed anything spiritual as really bad philosophy.

After my religious experience I hopped from church to church, played the tambourine at full-gospel revivals, and tried various forms of prayer. Eventually I became disillusioned with how man-made, self-centered, and worldly it all seemed.

I neither knew nor loved God, and wasn't about to invent one for that purpose. I seemed to be the only one not on speaking terms with God. Nevertheless, something had touched me and I experienced peace, love, and freedom from addiction like never before.

Somehow I've found my way back to my previous state of misery and mixed metaphors. I guess I tried to change horses in midstream and fell between them. To continue with the metaphor, or to beat a dead horse,(another horse) I've lost my footing and find myself being swept downstream.

i'll be quiet.

verne


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poster:verne thread:568623
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20050914/msgs/574378.html