Posted by ClearSkies on October 19, 2005, at 0:25:15
In reply to Drinking Again, posted by verne on October 18, 2005, at 18:09:50
>Something touched me but I can't define it. I cringe when people talk in a familiar way, like they are pals with God.
You mean here at babble or strangers on the street?
Verne, I'm a big believer in being human; that maintaining sobriety is the hardest thing I know *I* have ever tried to do; and that I hope you aren't angry with yourself.Personally I can say that I have found babble to be a really big trigger for me. Due entirely to my habit of reading posts that I'm fairly certain will have that effect. I'm better at choosing my timing now, and don't feverishly read through threads, getting heated and agitated by what I read. I just wait until my head is calmer, knowing that what's waiting for me on the board most likely does not need my reckless posting as a response to well, just about anything you can name.
As for drinking? I'd say that you've responded in a very human way to feeling crummy (after all, you couldn't feel any worse while sick). It reminds me that there is much I need to change about myself before I'm healthy. I'm using workbooks and daily readings and meditation which are a real departure for me, the "I can't see how these things can possibly help me" skeptic. But I'm giving them a try, teaching myself to pause and reflect now before reacting.
I also hope that you allow yourself the gratitude for the 91 days you accumulated - way to go!! And maybe think about what you'd like to do differently next time. Maybe you could write about it here? Not a "I should have..." list but a "next time, I'll..." list. And set yourself those goals. Keep them within your reach. No personality tranplantations allowed; those still belong in the realm of science fiction.
wishing you a calm (day or night?)
up in the middle of the night ClearSkies
poster:ClearSkies
thread:568623
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20050914/msgs/568735.html