Posted by ClearSkies on September 14, 2005, at 16:11:56
In reply to Day 15 and a holiday weekend, posted by ClearSkies on September 4, 2005, at 18:55:19
Forgive me all, for using this board as my "public record" but I do feel the need to journal this adventure.
Campral has continued to be my magic pill in helping me maintain sobriety, allowing my mind to calm down long enough to consider how different situations trigger the drinking response in me. Anxiety, anxiety, anxiety. How utterly cruel that the very illness that I've been dealing with exacerbates the anxiety for which I also receive treatment.
I'm at the same time trying to taper down on xanax - from 1mg per day to .5mg. Sounds like small potatoes but I find I'm quite sensitive to its quick calming effects. Of course I am still faced with the problem of the anxiety itself - but it is drastically reduced and simplified by being able to remove alcohol from the equation. The depression actually varies from day to day, from tears to calm to something approaching contentment. I keep cautioning myself not to feel too good, not trusting that this precarious balance will continue for any length of time.
Today was a big one for me in that I picked up the telephone and called 3 women who are in the outpatient programme with me. Hearing a compassionate voice at the other end of the line has helped me so much!! I hope that in being able to listen to my companions' stories that we lend each other strength.
More as I continue...
poster:ClearSkies
thread:550703
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20050914/msgs/555060.html